You find yourself doing stupid things. I think that is the first sign. Stupid things like loitering round the complex, searching for her while a lecture goes on in class. You realize in a way, you have always been searching for her, waiting for her, longing for her. Why, it was longing for her that had caused our first fight. Then we’d just become friends and I had gotten used to the sound of her voice, rousing me out of depression, my loyal friend.
So she hadn’t called or picked my call in 3 weeks and I was going crazy, as in literarily crazy; any food I cooked got burnt as in burnt black as the mood I was in. when I ran into her in town, I couldn’t hold myself, I exploded into rants, nagging about everything, from the way I needed her, not necessarily her touch but her voice, the way I felt hollow when I woke up in the morning and she wasn’t just there…flitting about like a rainbow colored butterfly from on place to the other, painting bright my life. She didn’t say a word, wise old soul that she was, when my nagging got crazy, she reached up on her heels and took of my glasses, freezing me speechless.
That’s better… she said calmly, walking beside me like I was taking her to the park and not quarrelling her. It wasn’t fair, a human being couldn’t possibly have this much power over another. When she saw my forehead tense she said sweetly, looking at the sky with a certain fondness. The first rain fell yesterday… And that was that.
When I finally came around to asking her out, the most terrifying moment of my life I might add, she was well I don’t know, you know how girls are, hard to read. Having been the traditional loser in secondary school, I had hoped this was one aspect of manhood I would be spared; maybe the girl of my dreams will swoop me off my feet. I guess that’s the second sign, when in love you can become anything, you can conquer anything even the fear of getting no for a reply. At first she believed she was not beautiful enough, she didn’t wear trousers or makeup. Amazingly those were the things that attracted me to her. It was a wonder to me how a girl could be excruciatingly beautiful without makeup or trousers, or even knowing she was beautiful. Her beauty was pure, raw, untouched, precious… Then she didn’t know what to say. I asked if she felt she wasn’t ready, I will humbly bow out. She gave me a wry smile.
Could we be friends?
I could teach her everything I knew, or bully any guy that disturbed her too much, the latter offer to which she laughed in relief. Of course, I am not the macho type but like I said, when in love, you become anything.
Yes I got over her, yes I went for hols but the next time I saw her, my heart gave a not so subtle heave. How was I? How were the hols? She needed me to teach her somethings, could I find time? I do not want to describe the nature of our relationship now, I don’t know what it is exactly that we have, but I’m loving it.
There she is… I need you to not say anything for five minutes. I pant, not knowing what it is that I’m doing.
I lasso her with the light purple muffler I’ve been holding in my hand and begin to chatter stupidly. I’m doing this now and not on valentine because we are not technically dating but its harmattan and your favorite color is purple and…
She just smiles… She’s taller now, so she doesn’t have to reach up on her heel to be my height, she just raises her hand to lift off my glasses and I feel the usual rush of emotions I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. I’d once asked her about her penchant for removing my glasses and she said something about seeing properly into my soul.
It doesn’t match anything I’m wearing sha. She says with a lopsided grin and in this moment, at the mercy of her doe eyes, I am…I am infinite. I guess that’s the third sign. You just feel boundless, complete…
A dude comes from nowhere and hugs her with an arm, like a protective elder brother, shattering my heart into a thousand pieces, but she smiles at me…for me. and its alright…its okay… Its just like I said earlier, I do not want to describe our relationship, I don’t know exactly what is that we have, but you can be sure I’m loving it. That’s the last sign…I think.