mother-and-son

Male Or Female… They Are All Gifts From Above

Darry and Tricia had been certain that their second baby would be a boy. The nausea, the heaviness and ceaseless booth of illness Tricia experienced in the first trimester of this baby was unlike her first pregnancy. Which progressed without any illness or complication till the birth of their first daughter Mirabel? Besides, lots of other experienced mothers seem to tell her that a baby boy came with lots of queasiness in the first trimester. Every thing about this second pregnancy was different, thus she concluded that God had granted the desire of their heart- a baby boy!

The tense anticipation that mounted as Tricia laid on the sonographer’s table had reached its peak with the announcement; “I think it’s a girl, ” she waited silently desperately hoping that it was a mistake, the sonographer continued scanning her tummy with the probe and looking at the screen; finally he cleared his throat and announced conclusively “ I am certain, it’s a girl”. Wiping the tears that spilled from her eyes with the back of her hands, Tricia said to herself “they are all gifts from above”. As she walked towards Dr. Mark’s office with the scan result of her baby’s sex, she read through the brief report looking for other reasons to be grateful to God for.

Dr Mark looked at the result and said oh oh! I also wished it was a boy, then I would advise that this be your last child, nevertheless its good to note that the fetus is strong, the cardiac pulsation is ok and the expected date of delivery by last menstrual period (EDD by LMP) is February 13th, the EDD by AGA (average gestational age) is February 16th, all things being equal she will be a valentine’s baby! Dr Mark reeled on trying unsuccessfully to make Tricia happy. Tricia and Dr Mark share a special patient/doctor relationship where Tricia could express herself unreservedly to him. At her earlier visits, she had told him of her desire to have a boy and even concluded that the difficulty experienced during the first trimester was a sure conclusion. She even went on to tell him that she was glad she wouldn’t have to go through another pregnancy as she now has a girl and will have a boy to balance the equation.

Her disappointment knew no bounds as she struggled to accept the news and baby too. She called Darry to tell him they were expecting a girl but immediately blotted out her frustrations “I cant go through another pregnancy she cried, I want a boy, now we have another girl” she bit her tongue as she was about saying “why me”. Darry’s calm voice assuage her, he assured her that two children were more than enough blessing, the sex not withstanding. But Tricia secretly asked herself “which man would not want to father a son” especially in an African culture where it was looked upon as the “strength of manhood”. She remember how Darry fondly played and chuck knuckles with their neighbor’s son, he was never going to chuck knuckles with a girl she sighed to herself.


It took Tricia all the will in her to drive home, and even more strength to carry out her remaining task of cooking and mothering for the day. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and soon February had begun. She couldn’t get herself to shop for the baby nor redo the décor in the children’s room. She kept hoping and praying that it will be a boy, as such she was not sure what colours and blinds to use Not even the long epistle written by her cousin who is equally blessed with two girls and had gone through the same process, reminding her of Obama’s two girls, Clinton’s only girl child and others could fully console her.

During the last few weeks before her EDD, she took time from work. Precious time she invested in thinking, she finally came to accept that, be it a boy or a girl, they were all gifts from above, she took a clue from her cousin whose family had 5 girls and 1 boy, yet those girls made all decision that matters and handled all family issues more than the only male child. She even looked at her family, which had a replica of the same issue and lots of other friends with like situation came to mind and she reprimanded herself for wasting all those months believing her baby girl will become a boy at birth instead of bonding with her. With a few days left before her EDD, Tricia spent time and money decorating the children’s room and arranging her baby’s clothing which she had christened “Joy”, she spent time talking to her bump and bonding with “Joy”.

Then came the surprise………….

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