futurehusband

Husbands Wanted: Apply In Person

A romance with poverty is an intriguing and debilitating experience. It’s a romance that could either generate the humorous or bring one to a vegetative state. I’m talking about material poverty, inability to survive on your own without dependence on kinship or the state. In such a state, your ability for independent choices is dependent on your inner wealth and strength. But that isn’t what is common among women in Nigeria, especially in Northern Nigeria. Demographic studies have highlighted the cultural subjugation of some of these women, many of who are neither heard nor seen.

They are behind-the-scene attendants, with their needs dictated to and provided for by others. It was news last year when Kano State Government organized a mass wedding ceremony for about 100 widows and divorcees in the state. It smacked of a carnival. One would have thought that perhaps the women and men so married had chosen themselves, but lacked the financial resources for a ceremony. After all, mass weddings are widespread in Nigeria. The churches do it, so why can’t the state governments do it as poverty-alleviation projects? The difference lies not in the conduct of the ceremony by external parties like church or government, but in the decision of the marrying parties.

Vanguard Newspaper of January 5, 2013 published Zamfara State Government’s announcement of plans to find husbands for about 2000 widows as a means of curtailing the rising numbers. I read the news and began to wonder what underlines this act of charity. As I read the online comments that followed the publication, I found that to be more intriguing than the news report itself. One of the most worrisome questions that emerged was “How did this large number of women become widows?” In trying to wrap my head around this, another post gave suggestion as to possibilities, suggesting that many of them may have been wives to late terrorists who have been killed within the last three years following the intensification of attacks by state security agents. That might be over-generalizing as the attacks have been more in the North East and not the North West where Zamfara State is. But, with the possible homogenous nature of the North, who says a widow in the North East cannot relocate, with clandestine state assistance, to the North West for purpose of swelling up their ranks and justifying the allocation of financial resources? Nigeria is a land of absurd possibilities. Nevertheless, if that line of reasoning is valid, then we are having a situation of indirect state-financed terrorism in the country. But I will let the state intelligence agencies do their work.

Now, back to the marriage arrangements; I’m wondering where the husbands will be sourced from. Will they be sourced from within and outside the state? Or will the search extend to outside the country to neighbouring Niger Republic and even up to Libya and other North African countries? Inter-marriage between northern Nigerians and citizens of Northern African countries is common and with the large number of women involved in this case, this wider search might be necessary. Anyway, come to think of it, only 500 men are needed actually. Since Zamfara is a Sharia state, a man is allowed to marry four wives. So, if the 2000 widows are distributed among 500 men, they would have been adequately taken care of. That will, however, be dependent on the State Government’s ability to source for and find willing single men.

Exploring the above further, there are several other concerns about this arrangement, unanswered questions. What are the qualifications for the husbands – cultural, religious, citizenship, psychological, etc? Are they going to be economically active and independent men? Are they going to be single or widowers? Are they going to be healthy enough such that they don’t die too soon and leave these widows widowed again? Are they going to be given employment to enable them to provide for the new wives? Will the women be given a chance to choose among the assortments of men that are going to be lined up? Have they discussed with the widows their specifications in terms of the kind of man they want? I would expect that in collating information from the widows, they were asked to fill out a form or one was filled out for each of them and in that form, they were asked adequate demographic information as a basis to match appropriate men.

There is another question that stands out. What is in this for the State Government? Is it part of their social security/development arrangements? Is it so difficult for the government to execute interventions that would make these widows economically independent on their own? I want to believe that many of them have children and these children have a right to grow under conditions of appropriate care and provisioning. I know in certain cultural settings a woman is denuded of her humanity to the extent that she is not given a voice to choose her partner or spouse, but should this be accepted as the best solution? As is common in Nigeria, it may not be surprising to find out that these “widows” are really not widows, as it could just be an arrangement to syphon money from the state treasury through some phony means. If the basis for this “project” is to address the perceived deprivation these women are exposed to, then it is hinged on the erroneous assumption that marriage is an empowering institution. In fact, marriage is a subjugating institution, especially when the basis for entering into it is not negotiated in some form.

It is my assumption that many of the said “widows” have children of varied ages and their peculiar needs may not be addressed within a marriage context. It is my reasoned opinion that the needs of many of these children may be addressed through their mother’s economic independence. These children should be situated within the entire project as the most vulnerable group; not the widows. They are vulnerable to all kinds of abuse – physical, moral, sexual, psychological, economic, etc. This is a task for the civil society groups who have a mandate to protect rights of children. There is need to understand the basis and dynamics of this project. If the women have chosen to subject themselves to this experiment, how have they factored the helpless children into the whole arrangement? It is even worrisome that the announcement was made by the Zamfara State Commissioner for Women and Children Affairs, who incidentally is a woman. In a cultural setting characterized by complementarity rather than equality, we are facing a situation where new organic problems are created by trying to solve existing ones.


18 thoughts on “Husbands Wanted: Apply In Person” by Carlobasi (@Carlobasi)

  1. Profile photo of Tola Odejayi
    Tola Odejayi (@TolaO): Wordsmith - 37872 pts

    Good article, @carlobasi.

    It’s not clear from the article why the government is so keen on marrying off these widows, but it shouldn’t assume that this action will necessarily lead to their welfare.

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      Thank you @Tola. Unfortunately the state government has not stated their reasons.

  2. Profile photo of Ayoks
    Ayoks (@sucess001): Head Wordsmith - 215542 pts

    me tinks the state govt is just idle…simple!

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      @Ayoks, me think so. Thank you.:-)

  3. Profile photo of Eletrika
    Eletrika (@babyada): Wordsmith - 37115 pts

    Shebi na the women gree say they wan marry? Did anyone drag them out of their homes to put out their interest?

    Wo, it’s their problem joor. I’m fed up of feeling bad for someone else.

    Good article. Well done.

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      @Eletrika, Eletrika, Eletrika…hmmmmm, how many times have I called? :-) You sure do have a point but the cultural subjugation of women in diverse cultural contexts cannot be denied. In some cases, you might be stripped of bare dignities that you become powerless. It is not out of place that the Government might be creating a conduit pipe to steal money.

      1. Profile photo of Efadel
        Efadel (@febidel): Senior Scribe - 26622 pts

        @ Eletrika, don’t be fed up yet oh. Somehow, things have a way of linking together and affecting us directly or indirectly. That is why we should be concerned. I feel you, though.

        1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
          Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

          @Efadel, you took the words off my keyboard. :-) you’re sure right and @Eletrika knows that too well. :-) cheers my people. Peace

  4. Profile photo of Efadel
    Efadel (@febidel): Senior Scribe - 26622 pts

    @carlobasi, I like your analysis. We need to keep asking these questions. Just maybe, if we do not relent, someday soon, we will get answers.

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      Thank you, @ Efadel…sometimes all we can ever do is to ask questions, with the hope that the answers will grow out. Cheers

  5. Profile photo of Basit-Jamiu
    Basit-Jamiu (@basittjamiu): Senior Scribe - 24405 pts

    @carlobasi, sometimes I think this government leave many important thing to trivial isues, do you think this is the right move by the government and what do U think is the right move?

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      @basittjamiu, you are right to note that government many times leave certain important issues for lesser ones. If. I usually don’t like being prescriptive without an analysis and since I’ve done a little on this case, I will prescribe that economic empowerment programmes that would transfer or instil skills should be designed and implemented to make these women independent enough to pay their bills. They could receive rebate in terms of education for their children to reduce economic pressure. Well, there are motley of options I could design and implement were I to have the responsibility. It is far beyond the simplicity allowable in this page.

  6. Profile photo of Daireen
    Daireen (@daireenonline): Scribe - 16629 pts

    Articles like this make my heart bleed. I mean would marrying them off to strange men solve the varied needs of these women who obviously are crying in the closets hoping against hope to not be a beneficiary of the marriage thinghy.

    My heart bleeds, I hope God enlightens them over there.

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      Thank you @Daireen, for feeling the depth of pain such practices evoke. Unfortunately, we live in the midst of such experiences. People exploit the conditions of others for their benefits and sometimes the people knowingly or unknowingly let themselves be so exploited.

  7. Profile photo of lawore olufemi
    lawore olufemi (@laworemike): Senior Scribe - 25941 pts

    this is what a state gets when a leader lacks better vision and unable to offer better remedy to problem challenging the state. good article

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      Exactly, @Lawore. Unfortunately, we are saddled with this burden, which we must continually engage.

  8. Profile photo of Jaywriter
    Jaywriter (@jaywriter): Junior Writer - 1987 pts

    This is both sad and funny at the same time.

    But again, who knows, true love can be found in one of the unions. Those involved are the only ones who can answer most of your questions correctly.

    Nice article.

    1. Profile photo of Carlobasi
      Carlobasi (@Carlobasi): Writer - 7874 pts

      Yea, @ Jaywriter. It has that paradoxical twist. I wish one could understand the whole story, but, like you noted, only the women can individually offer the answers. I wish them well. Thank you. Cheers :-)

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