The Lost Half

The Lost Half

I was raised with…questions. Questions either left unanswered or answered too casually, suspiciously casually.

My name, Taye. I never questioned that until I was three and I realised that every other Taye I knew had a Kehinde. And so my ever curious mind asked my mother “where’s my Kehinde?” For a second, she looked shocked, and then she tried to mask that with light amusement. “He’s travelled to London” was her offhanded answer. But she had that tone in her voice, that “this matter ends here tone” I knew too well.

I remember wondering why he got to travel to London while I stayed in this country. I remember even being mad at him for not bothering to call or ‘ask of me’.  I also remember trying to communicate with him, whispering his name on nights I felt cold and lonely. I remember once my mother heard me, and she vigorously shook me and beat me to a pulp( and my mother works hard, don’t even try to mess with those calluses)  before warning me that never again should I try that in her house. My friend once said that hell is enough incentive to believe in God. Needless to say, that was the last day I called his name-out loud.

It didn’t take me too long to realise their story lacked any sort of credibility. There was no way I had a twin in London, for goodness sake we couldn’t even afford Coke on Christmas day! They could have at least been a bit more creative with that one.

When I finally realised the truth, through some twist of fate that involved soup, tears and my mother beating her sister up; it was…scary. Cold. No not the soup, that was quite hot I think.

I’d always imagined our reunion, I’d played out the scene thousands of times in my head. Everything would be in slow motion, and we’ll slowly run into each…anyway. It was odd to discover I’d been trying to talk with the dead.

People always ask me where my Kehinde is, and that question is always closely followed with how I feel about having a dead twin. In fact, I’ve heard the question so many times its amazing I keep hearing it. It’s like a bitter pill I have to swallow each time I get closer to someone. Now I just try to casually drop it somewhere in the conversation before they ask like “Hey! I’m Taye, that’s a nice shirt you have on, Kehinde’s dead, where did you get your shirt from?” My subtlety is a constant source of amazement for me. Seriously though, I guess I don’t really think too much about it. I wouldn’t let myself. Its feels really weird, knowing there would have been two of me. I’m left with a lot of what-ifs.

Here I am, trying to explain and pick at my emotions till I get some sort of meaning.

Well, most twins are opposite of each other so he must be perfection personified. Everything I’m not. I guess you can’t really miss what you never had. But just like Gatsby and the green light you can keep reaching and create such an unreasonable fantasy about your unattainable dream. It’s so much easier    to pretend like he never existed, as much as my name can let me.

Sometimes though, when I pause enough to hear, I feel a sense of incompleteness which I do a good job of trying to convince myself has nothing to do with my lost half. No really, it doesn’t.

Comments

comments


14 thoughts on “The Lost Half” by Yeniee (@Yeniee)

  1. This is bitter-sweet. Simple. Well written. Packs the required amount of nostalgia.

    Well done.

    1. Avatar of Yeniee
      Yeniee (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      Thanks :)

  2. I like the piece. I feel connected to it probably because I’m a twin too. But I can’t tell you I know how it feels to not have a twin.

    Nice one.

    1. Avatar of Yeniee
      Yeniee (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      yeah…the story is fiction though. Inspired by a real life event.

  3. Avatar of Ray-Jules
    Ray-Jules (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Naija writters are recently making waves thanks to naija stories

  4. I think there are a few things that need some reworking here… In essence, there’s a need for some reconstruction of some parts. I shall hint on a few
    the line: ‘But she had that tone in her voice, that “this matter ends here tone” I knew too well’… Might read better as ‘She had that ‘This matter ends here’ tone I knew too well.
    In the second paragraph, don’t you think we have too many ‘I remembers’ running through… I remember, I remember, I remember… can we find a substitute or something? Can we get the message passed across without that continual ‘remember’? Where you say ‘my mother works hard’ is it possible to give a slight mention of what she does? Maybe ‘And my mother is an untiring farmer’ or something of the like. Dropping that bit would give us a more vivid picture. ‘Works hard’ doesn’t cut it much though the lines of poverty as shown in the not being able to afford coke give a clue. Still, you might draw a better picture with just some slight mentions.
    Can we see to doing some change on the line: ‘before warning me that never again should I try that in her house.’ Maybe, before warning me never to repeat that in her house again or something. If you want to show her voice direct, maybe as not being in full control of her grammar, direct speech might work.

    Now, I have said much. You have some more to do there. I think that this story holds so much promise. If I could, I would ask that you grow it on and maybe add some elements to it to make it more gripping… a continuation wouldn’t hurt.
    Well done on this one. You got me reading it to the end and that is something! Well done.

    1. Avatar of Yeniee
      Yeniee (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      Thanks for your time…reading and commenting. I really appreciate your suggestions :)

  5. Avatar of Myne
    Myne (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Heed Sueddie’s suggestions.

  6. Avatar of chemokopi
    chemokopi (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Beautiful piece. Lovely. I really like the way you wrote this. But of course, when a fellow writer takes the pain to give you suggestions like Sueddie has done, you would do well to examine them.

    Well done. Keep improving your art.

    1. Avatar of Yeniee
      Yeniee (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      thanks a lot :)..and you’re absolutely right.

  7. Avatar of Eletrika
    Eletrika (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    I connected well with this. I once asked a Taiwo where her Kehinde was, and the expression she wore on her face when I did was…

    With this now, I understand the feeling more, and will be more careful withh doing that, esp if I suspect one is no more.

    Well done.

  8. Avatar of teewah
    teewah (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    this had one thing i look out for….’Connection’.

    Well done!! @yennie

    1. Avatar of Yeniee
      Yeniee (@): Newbie - 0 pts

      aww thanks :) I’m glad you liked it!

  9. Avatar of teewah
    teewah (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    @yeniee drop a comment for above

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