Mickey Jay: Memoirs Of A Lagos Playboy (II)

June 9th, 2012.

04. 43am.


The promise of a brand new challenge is what makes me go on. I often wonder how people are content to live life without a challenge. My theory about life is you never really know who you are or what you are capable of till you push yourself; regardless of the endeavor, I might add. I love women. They are the rainbow in my black and white world. As long as I have lots of them in my life, my world is colorful.

Its been almost five days since I met Christy at that eatery establishment and since that moment, she’s formed an “occupy movement” in my head. I returned the favor and have bombarded her mobile with calls since Tuesday. At first, she hadn’t been so free and nice to me but I wouldn’t stop. I called her shortly after I left the eatery; we talked briefly for ten minutes. I called her after the close of business for that day; we talked for nearly three hours. Between Tuesday and today which is Saturday, I’d sent her over thirty romantic text messages and about seven lengthy and romantic poems. During this period too, the calls increased exponentially. By Thursday, she’d started calling me. We exchanged information about ourselves. She told me about her work, where she worked (I’d promptly sent a box of chocolates the moment I got that detail), her family, her life in most personal terms. I traded a couple of stories too; some truths, half-truths and some lies here and there (Don’t look at me like that). She loved to laugh and jokes came easy to me so she had her fill. We agreed to hang out Friday night and she said she couldn’t wait.

Now, the trick is to fill her head with thoughts of me. Most guys don’t believe in it but it sure works. Women dream of and crave for attention. Most dudes don’t have that time, understandably so. But physical presence is not everything. Those little things: like that frequent one minute call to ask her opinion on something; that sweet two-worded text message which is the first thing she sees when she wakes up; that lengthy email you send in the thick of work to distract her temporarily; that joke; that unexpected gift…etc, those are the things that matter. Women have an over-active imagination and the fact that we’d just met once and I’d chased her with so much vigor made me a mystery, a sort of love demi-god, a standard, a symbol of perfection before her eyes. But we all know that such perfection does not exist. We would rather be in love with the utopian illusion, no matter how temporal it is. Its the reason we adjust quickly because deep down, we know its all a lie.

Just when she was getting so used to me, so used to those calls, the poems, the text message; like a drought affected desert, they ceased. Yesterday, I took the day off from work and her as well. I had planned to take the day off from work on Friday and I did, citing health concerns. I ignored her calls, text messages and emails all day long. By evening, she was frantic. Seventy two missed calls, eight text messages and five emails! Not bad, huh?

After a time, the calls, texts and emails stopped coming. It was time to seek her out. I left my house around six thirty pm and drove straight to her office hoping she hadn’t left yet. She hadn’t. The traffic was crazy and she usually loved to wait till it simmered down. I parked and waited looking rather dandy in my brown suede jacket, blue shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes. I caught not a few stares from many ladies but I’m sexy and I know it.(LMFAO!)

I had to wait for about forty minutes before she came out of the big revolving doors of the bank. It was nearly eight o’clock and apart from the from the fact that the weather had changed again, it was getting darker. However, the mental photo of the beautiful princess I met a few days ago slowly began to recede. She looked wired. Probably the stress of the day… and hopefully, me. She held her jacket in her hands, her shirt was terribly rumpled and her hair was a mess. However, there was something I’d missed out on that first day: she hadn’t stood up so there was no way I could have known about that coke bottle shape. Damn!

She got to her car, a blue Toyota RAV4 opened it and kept her bag in the passenger seat. I had my phone out and I dialed her number. She answered immediately.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now!” She vibrated. “You’ve ruined my day. I’ve been calling all morning, all afternoon! I sent you sms’s, I sent you mails yet you wouldn’t reply none of them…!”

I tried to cut in but she cut me off and continued with her rants. I really didn’t have anything to say anyway so I kept silent till she finished.

“Where have you been?!” She fumed.

“Right behind you…” I said, quietly.

“What are you…” She turned and there I was with my best and most charming smile. 

“I hate you so much right now! Urggghh!” There was shock, a sigh of relief and a smile; all in a split second. 

“Am sorry love. I wanted to surprise you.” I said humbly. She gave me a look like you-got-me-but-I-still-wish-I-could-strangle-you. I laughed.

“You gotta admit, I got you cold!” I said laughing.

“I’m still mad at you. Don’t try to make it look like a joke. It isn’t funny.” She said earnestly but I knew she loved it. I extended my arms, my eyes inviting her and she came into them gratefully. We stood together in the car park, locked in each others arms for what seemed like eternity. I could perceive faint wafts of her perfume. My hand caressed her hair gently and she snuggled deeper into my chest till she became conscious of what seemed like a boner and she looked up at me, inquiring and a sheepish grin was my reply. She pushed me away gently.

“I missed you honey. I just realized that hope is such a beautiful thing. I couldn’t have survived this long without you were it not for hope.” I said. I moved closer and held her waist and looked into her beautiful eyes. She had this adorable look in her eyes like I’d just said what she needed to hear. The smile her beautiful lips created weakened me totally.

“I missed you too…” She said shyly and quietly.

“Christy…?” Another voice jolted us back to earth. I turned to see who the intruder was. Whoa! Another hottie!!

“Finally, I get to meet your mystery lover…” The intruder said.

The intruder assessed me with her eyes and my eyes returned the favor. A little heavy but with that kind of voluptuousness that appeals to us guys. She had on a buttoned grey suit and a blue blouse inside it that made it look like her great breasts were struggling to jump out. Her skirt was very, very …mini. She was pretty with fleshy cheeks. Her face was a bit heavily made up but it didn’t hide the fact that she was pretty and very sexy. The kind that could make a guy’s blood rush instantly on short notice. 

Her sudden appearance didn’t seem to please Christy one bit who put her arms around my neck as if to say “Back off!”. Yeah, women can be very territorial but there’s plenty of me and I can never be labeled stingy.

“Err…Mickey, this is a colleague. Her name’s Kemi.” Christy did the introduction and was quite stiff about it.

“Its a pleasure to meet you Kemi.” I said, flashing once again my winner smile. I extended my hand and Kemi took it, still appraising me.

“Same here, Mickey.” She held on to my hand a little longer than usual as she looked me in the eye. Christy had to break us up before a subtle message or two could be passed.

“Now I know why she’s been hiding you all this time. She’s got a live mouse this time.” She winked at me and I laughed heartily at the analogy. No smiles from Christy.

“Ok o. Let me not interrupt you guys. Nice to have met you dear.” She said to me. She leaned to Christy and whispered something to her, laughed, gave me a wink and she was gone.

Christy didn’t look too happy with the interruption. The mood sort of changed so I asked innocently, “You don’t seem to like her much.”

“Don’t think I didn’t see your eyes roving all over her body.” She replied, feigning anger.

Oh dear, I thought. She’d caught me but I responded in time. “Oh come on love. I was about to tell you something about something…” I said grinning and nodding mischievously at the lessened bulge in my pants. She smiled. I leaned closer without warning and kissed her softly on her lips. When I drew back, she looked shocked.

“Why did you…” She never finished the sentence as my mouth found hers again and this time, she responded drawing me close. 

After what a while, she withdrew remembering we were still at her office premises, though it was all dark now.

“Where are you taking me tonight?” She asked, blushing and fumbling for her car keys.

“I had a great dinner planned at the Oriental but I’d honestly love to skip all that and take you home right away.” I said earnestly.

She laughed hard. “Are you always this direct?”

“I am direct but not always.” I replied smiling.

“I don’t imagine you have any food at your place. I’m feeling rather peckish and my back aches.” She rubbed her neck.

“My love,” I declared with a British accent, “It would be my pleasure to feed you and give you a massage. My hands have the magical quality of a masseur to them. Feel them…” I stretched them to her.

She laughed and pushed me away again. I leaned closer, caressing her hair. “So what’s it gonna be love? I’d really love to have a quiet night with you… alone. Haven’t we waited long enough?”

She looked at me, blushed and looked away.

“I promise we’ll only do what you want us to do…” I said giving her a smile.

“You’ll give me a massage?”

“You don’t have to ask love.I’ll take good care of you.”

“Where did you park your car?” She asked. I pointed to the black Infinity FX 45 across the road.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be moving against the traffic and I’ve got some t-shirts that would fit you perfectly.” I gave my mischievous grin again. 

“You read my mind! You’re so naughty!” She hit me on my chest again, laughing. “So, lead the way and I’ll follow.”

And the rest, as they say is history.

Watching her sleep like an angel on my bed with my t-shirt on while I write my memoirs with memories of last night fresh in my head, I can’t help but think that there just may be some unfinished business between me and what was her name again…? Ah yes, Kemi. The voluptuous one…

Its way too soon to think of that. I may just fall in love with Christy given time. She is a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. Pretty much like me. Perhaps, that’s what drew me to her. I may seem all hard and tough on the outside but I’m actually all soft and gooey on the inside. The hope of true love is what drives me, keeps me…but so does the promise of a new challenge. 

She stirs. I’d better head to the kitchen. Breakfast in bed coming up.



28 thoughts on “Mickey Jay: Memoirs Of A Lagos Playboy (II)” by Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm)

  1. Profile photo of topazo
    topazo (@topazo): Head Wordsmith - 64128 pts

    this is nicely written…well done.

  2. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
    Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts


  3. Profile photo of Tola Odejayi
    Tola Odejayi (@TolaO): Head Wordsmith - 42376 pts

    .@saymalcolm, I found this a very well written and engaging read (with more than a few hints for the man in search of a woman). I hope there’ll be a part 3…

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Most certainly. Part 3 should be out by next week, all things being equal. Thank you for your kind words.

  4. Profile photo of Eletrika
    Eletrika (@babyada): Head Wordsmith - 41302 pts

    All these players and their memoirs shaaaa…

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts


  5. Profile photo of ablyguy
    ablyguy (@francis): Senior Scribe - 22260 pts

    Neat and meticulously written. I must add that it wasn’t much of a challenge to the guy, is that how good he is? Or there’s a big chink in the ladies’ armor? Hehehe! I happen to be reading the art of seduction lately and this added more thrill to it.


    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Hehehehe! Thanks for reading!

  6. Profile photo of sassystel
    sassystel (@ibagere): Scribe - 10547 pts

    Hmmmh… Another kiss and tell guy. Don’t expect any ‘kind words’ from us NS females ooh! *chuckles*

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Hahahahahaha! I think this “kiss and tell” guy is quite different from any you’ve come across. 😉

  7. Profile photo of Salliness
    Salliness (@Salliness): Writer - 9678 pts

    I really liked this. At first glance I thought ‘this is really long’ but you had my attention all through. Looking forward to part 3 already.

    I spotted something though ‘(I’d promptly sent a box of chocolates the moment I got that detail)’ I thought it should have read (I promptly sent a box of chocolates the moment I got that detail). Some English technique (not sure which).

    Good one still.

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Lol. No need to get worked up over the “English Technique”. Its a typo for which I apologize. I’m glad you found it interesting. Hopefully, episode 3 will be better and devoid of typos. 😉

  8. Profile photo of Ellie
    Ellie (@elly): Scribe - 10124 pts

    Nicely written with a good flow too. Thumbs up! Looking forward to the next installment.

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts


  9. Profile photo of Naboulove
    Naboulove (@naboulove): Writer - 5886 pts

    I love it, well written & entertaining, it reminded me of a Kiekegaard seducer’s diary wrapped into Greene’s Art of Seduction in a vivid story. Hope the story continues am hooked

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Looool. I think you got me there because having read both Kiekegaard’s Seducers Diaries and the Greene’s Art of Seduction, I can’t deny their influence. Watch for episode 3 and thanks for reading. 🙂

  10. Profile photo of Melody
    Melody (@ifiokobong): Junior Writer - 3804 pts

    Really?@ sassy(winks) nice write up dude

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Thanks and keep reading.

  11. Profile photo of schatzilein
    schatzilein (@schatzilein): Scribe - 12785 pts

    Really loved this….

  12. Profile photo of aniefiokitong
    aniefiokitong (@aniefiokitong): Junior Writer - 3355 pts

    You are a real player,NS or NOT

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      LMAO! But wouldn’t that be assumption? As far as I know, a writer is never really all about what he writes. I guess you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading! 🙂

  13. Profile photo of Ayoks
    Ayoks (@sucess001): Head Wordsmith - 254869 pts


  14. Profile photo of Da'Queen
    Da'Queen (@Estee): Wordsmith - 31257 pts

    Typical playboy strategy but “seventy two missed calls, eight text messages and five emails in one day!” What’s that? Is d guy her hubby? #mshew#

  15. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Scribe - 15009 pts

    On to the next one.

  16. Profile photo of Hottie
    Hottie (@MissAjiboye): Junior Writer - 1730 pts

    This is a lot nicer. I enjoyed it.

  17. Profile photo of glow
    glow (@anyieinstein): Junior Writer - 1693 pts

    written like a professional. Wait ooh! is this really your memoir? *winks*

    1. Profile photo of Malcolm O. Ifi
      Malcolm O. Ifi (@saymalcolm): Head Wordsmith - 90999 pts

      Thanks for your kind comment. As for your question, a true gentleman never tells. 😉

  18. Profile photo of emmyfrosty
    emmyfrosty (@emmyfrosty): Junior Writer - 3164 pts

    A smooth read!

    That’s the beauty!

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