African Nerd 3

African Nerd 3

Garri! What the hell is happening here!? The death-wielding, otherworldly King of the underworld is preparing to drink GARRI?!  My mother most definitely fried that mean with marijuana. What else can explain this vivid hallucination? Very soon one crazy man will want them to legalize that sh*t .

When I think nothing weird can happen again, I am proven wrong again. For all of a sudden, a voice spoke, the voice was sad and painful as if a thousand tortured souls had produced it>

“My Minion! Is this the mortal that holds the key?”

The strangest thing about the voice was not its wretched nature, rather it was its omnipresent source. The voice seemed to emanate from everywhere, the whole room shook with every word spoken.

“Yes! Ur Wickedness!”, replies the Creature, the one I now know as Minion.

“Introduce yourself”, says Minion, with glances thrown to me.

I am so damn scared, my legs are weakened, my bladder is shivering, my temperature is rising, my brain is touching. Who do I introduce myself to? The walls spoke but the dark man stared. With a scared and confused mind I try my best to reply

“ Good Evening sir” I say, while bending my knees the way I have always seen my sister do when greeting.
This move must have bewildered them, for there was a moment of silence, the Minion just stared at me with a look that said “ What the f*ck was all that about?”. It was the Dark being that spoke this time, the walls vibrating again
“My Minion, does your foolishness know no bounds?! Why bring to me this fool?”
“My King! Do not be angered. This is truly the one that holds the key. The teleportation has left him slightly confused, forgive his foolishness”, the Minion pleaded
And then it spoke to me this time, the Dark walls spoke again
“ I, King of the underworld, oldest son of Cronus, have called you here to give you an assignment”
And then at the sound of the word “assignment” , I fear for myself. I have heard of people getting tricked by gods and daemons, if there ever was a difference. I won’t be fooled by anyone, real or imagined. I brace all the courage I can and reply this Dark one
“I don’t know who you are. But I don’t make work for anybody. I work for myself”
This was a foolish thing to say, I know. The one called Minion has taken some few step away from me, maybe he feared that if the ground should open and swallow me he didn’t want to be close by.
The Dark being twitched, and then shifted, the cloak rumpling with every movement. I am guessing he isn’t used to a lot of disobedience.
I feel a kind of pride and courage within myself. The Nigerian training has given me b.alls, no one just messes around with me.
And then again the walls vibrate
At the mention of this word a dark beast appears out of the darkness that surrounds this place. Bringing a chill along with it. Many people will tell you haaa! Cerberus is just a little three headed German Shepherd. Make sure you tell them to quit drugs.
For what I saw was no mere mutt, this was a humongous canine, its paw alone was larger than any human I have ever seen, mind you I have seen really fat people. Its legs were long and spiked, every hair on this beast was like a black rod of sharpened stainless steel. Its body was mighty muscular, you could actually see some biceps and abdominal packs, no doubt this beast always has enough workout. And then I saw its heads, three black heads set perfectly on three necks, all resting on its shoulder. In the mouths, were bones and gore, the damn beast was still chewing on them, horrible evidence of its last meal.
And then there is the smell, I know I should be the last person on earth to talk about smells, but I am not even sure I’m on earth anymore. The beast stank, if I refuse to brush for a whole week I will smell better. Trust me, I have. The beast stank of dead rotten flesh. I can’t hold it in. I vomit up my stolen breakfast.
It takes a lot to make me vomit, and this is more than necessary. I eye the vomited fried meat and remember my promise “ walahi if I hear say I no chop this meat”, I like to keep my promises, so I eye the meat for the third time now. But again I am too busy being scared to death by this animal, it looks at me and throws around its tongue in evil excitement. To be sincere, I don’t know what it is excited about, I am a very skinny guy. This beast must have a thing for bones.
The beast raises its hind legs to scratch at its neck, as it scratches at its thick muscular neck, it sends out tens of fist-sized ticks. And here I was thinking my dog has problems. I swerve left and right to avoid being hit by this huge blood-suckers. I no wan carry this kain things go house, that is if I will ever go home, besides this things will dry me up in one drink. I quickly make up my mind. This thing is already making its way to me. Minion has taken five more step away from me, this dude must really value his life.
“ Excuse me sir, I did not get the full details of the assignments, I would definitely have said yes if you had empowered me with info on the assignment, sir?!” I make sure the “SIR” is audible enough, this thing is ready to jump at me. Walking up to me is enough to kill me, jumping at me is just overkill.
“S-S-SIR?!”, I stammer
“Your HI-hi-highness?!”, I add
The beasts’ hind limbs are already twitching now, ready for the pounce


Nigerian training might have given me balls, but it also gave me brains. I value my life, I have not given girl belle yet.

And then the beast leaps. Thirty feet into the air it went, I cowered, raising my hand to my face in anticipation of death. My life flashes in front of my eyes. Damn! My life is one boring mess. The beast is almost upon me now.

4 thoughts on “African Nerd 3” by Redmosquito (@Redmosquito)

  1. I had a hard time getting the gist of it as I had not read the other parts, would do That before I make any comments.

  2. You definitely have a very active imagination, @redmosquito, as well as a quirky sense of humour. I enjoyed the descriptions of the MC’s reaction to Cerberus. But man… you REALLY need to pay more attention to spelling and tenses – they are ruining this work.

    1. I want to present it in present tense, through the eyes of the mc himself.
      I kinda caught sight of some errors just now. I’m sorry for that, will try to edit it.
      Thanks for your comment

  3. I will try to pay more attention to the tense.
    I really seem to have messed it up here and there.
    Thanks for your observations

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