A Transaction Gone Sour

A Transaction Gone Sour

This is the story of a john who erroneously thinks over-the-shelf antibiotics can remedy sexually-transmitted infections or prevent it. As strange as it sounds, this belief is widely-held by a lot of people who surely need more education on healthy living in Nigeria especially.

 

 

The walls of  this shop used to be snow-white but now it wears a creamy coat whose rate of further depreciation can only be matched by a red-to-rusty brown colour of the burglary-proof iron door which some years ago boasted of a shiny red oxide coat.  On the front desk is a woman in her mid-thirties wearing a blue check apron, ridiculously  long white gown and a show of sarcastic concern on seeing Izzi approach the shop.

“Ampiclox, ampiclox, give me ampiclox”, yells Izzi a mid-twenties young man whose favorite hangout faces the pharmacy shop.

Few minutes before this, Izzi enters his usual spot where he regularly “eases the tension” and today, he is going to be the client of Queen. Queen is a lady who can’t be more than twenty five years in age, she is very fair in complexion, about five feet nine inches tall, she carries a full-blown bust and a rotund backside to match.

A new face in the house,  Izzi approaches.

“Baby what’s up”, Izzi asked as his brain sends some mixed signals to his zippers. “I am fine”, responded Queen in a somewhat lascivious wide smile revealing her  tooth gap. They agree to a fee which Izzi found a bit higher than the usual he pays for a “short-time session”. “It’s worth it, after all it’s a new girl on the block. “,  he justified to himself and who would argue? Queen has a very charming smile that makes you want to fantasize and put her in the outside world as a well-to-do banking executive or career lady with so many options lying in front of her but then, this is the real world and plans are known not to always work.

After navigating through some shabby rooms, they finally make their way to Queen’s cubicle. Perfumes, skimpy dresses on the wall hanger, a traditional poorly-lit room  containing rolls of toilet paper and condoms as well as a noisy bed frame whose noise during congress would make you think you had toads and crickets for spectators.

Good value for money, Queen gives everything. Kissing, fellatio, action! This is paradise, Izzi thought. A girl this beautiful in this kind of place? Kissing him was something unusual due to what has come to be known as “The Ashy Theorem”.

This theorem states that  prostitutes don’t kiss their clients because  of the importance they attribute to kissing as an emotional act which is reserved for their “boyfriends”. Yes they have boyfriends, turning tricks  is just to make money.  Their heart surely does not live in their vaginas or something like that.

Fellatio on the other hand carries no such emotional burden as kissing does but it usually attracts a bigger fee and it means the session is longer which invariably means you are paying for the act, the sex and altogether the time spent with only one client.

Legs shivering, orgasm on the way, Queen stops the fellatio on Izzi, reaches for her condom box and tears open a condom. As much as alcohol is not a proven aphrodisiac, it surely had effects on Izzi’s performance tonight.

Feigned moans from the girl, theatrical moves from Izzi and unscripted noise from the squeaking bed and standing fan who seem to be in a harmony of their own provided an orchestra within the confinements of the little room.

Ten minutes on, and all of a sudden the sex suddenly got more pleasurable, indescribable and wholly fascinating. Good things don’t always last much. Izzi ended the show in a loud gasp, a bowing gesture from his tool . “The  condom even burst sef”, Queen said. Izzi hurriedly looked down and found out that the last few minutes got more pleasurable because the condom gave way. “What!?”, he pays Queen and storms out, crosses the road and enters the pharmacy.

Comments

comments


5 thoughts on “A Transaction Gone Sour” by Ife Martins (@cyracles)

  1. Profile photo of Salliness
    Salliness (@Salliness): Writer - 6558 pts

    Very well written. I am assuming there is a sequel?

  2. Profile photo of Basit-Jamiu
    Basit-Jamiu (@basittjamiu): Senior Scribe - 23052 pts

    weldone!

  3. Profile photo of Efadel
    Efadel (@febidel): Senior Scribe - 26498 pts

    I think this story needs a sequel to drive home the point that over-the-counter ampiclox is not the best precaution against STDs or any of the other consequences of indiscriminate sex.

  4. Profile photo of Tola Odejayi
    Tola Odejayi (@TolaO): Wordsmith - 37165 pts

    @cyracles, this needs work. There are tense mixups and your usage of words is incorrect in many places.

    Take this paragraph:

    The walls of this shop used to be snow-white but now it wears a creamy coat they were cream. whose rate of further depreciation can only be Their deterioration was matched by a the red-to-rusty brown colour of the burglary-proofed iron door which some years ago used to boasted of a shiny red oxide coat of paint. On the front desk is was a woman in her mid-thirties wearing a blue check apron, ridiculously long white gown and a show of sarcastic insincere concern on seeing Izzi a young man in his mid twenties approach the shop.

    “Ampiclox, ampiclox, give me ampiclox”, yells Izzi a mid-twenties the young man whose favorite hangout faces faced the pharmacy shop.

    A few minutes before this, Izzi enters entered his usual spot where he regularly “eases eased the tension” and today, he is was going to be the client of Queen.

    You have the potential for an interesting story here, but it feels incomplete. There’s nothing to excite or interest me in a story where all that happens is that a man has sex with a prostitute and has to go to a pharmacy.

  5. Profile photo of Ife Martins
    Ife Martins (@cyracles): Beginner - 741 pts

    @tolao, I care less about competitive writing to be honest and the major reason I came here is to improve my writing. You are certainly helping with that. Though not an excuse, this is my first attempt at fiction. As a tech-inclined person, I write mostly non-fiction with doses of sarcasm. My facebook account holds my notes.

    Thank you very much for your valuable input.

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