Orchids For Angels…

“MUUUUUUUUUUM,” Four year old Christina yelled, running into the huge house with the soles of her sneakers lightly tapping the tiled floor. “Come and see what Ini is doing to your car.” She slowed down when she got to the kitchen where her mum stood by the huge Ariston cooker.

Marissa turned away from the sizzling stew as Christina stopped, her left arm stretched out behind her, finger pointing. “What is it now Tina? You see I´m busy now eh mbok abasi.”

“But Ini is sratching your car with his saber.” she said lightly, still pointing and moving back wards, urging her mother to follow her out to where her car was parked.

Marissa beckoned to Ndifreke that sat quietly beside the big kitchen window outlooking the back yard of the house to take over the cooking while she saw to the children. Ndifreke murmured something to herself, but Marissa ignored her. Ndi had started her difficult ways about three weeks or so ago after her older sister’s visit. Granted, Chaka was very difficult and had found every reason to complain about the maid’s every move and to be completely honest she had gotten tired of it. But Ndi had become a completely different character and she was just too tired to make an issue out of it. She had four unruly kids and one teenager who was a handful. No way was she adding Ndifreke to that mix.

Out by the open ground of the house, Marissa saw Ini, slowly walking round the car, his Star Wars saber in his left hand and forcefully scratching against the blue coat of her precious ML. “INIOBONG JAMES UDO!” She picked up her long bohemian style skirt and rushed to pull him away from the car. “Have you gone crazy? Ebot ke ado? Nya uwot fien idem! Let your father get back from work! Nsido?” She practically dragged him through the ground and into the house.

“Go and get me my cane right now Ndi. Sop idem mbok!” She yelled to the maid, her deep voice carrying into the kitchen.   Christina held on tight to her native clad barbie as she began to cry at the angry sound of her mother’s voice and the tempo increased when the maid appeared with the long wooden cane, longer than her in height.

“Mum? Nooooooo…..”

“Kop inua mfo! Mbak ndi mia mbufo owo iba!” Marissa said to Christina as she forcefully took the long cane from the maid.  She  shoved her 6 year old son away from her and asked him to stretch out hhis arm so she could spank his palm with the cane.  She hit him three times on one palm and four on the next but to her shock, her  little boy didn’t shed a tear or budge from the obvious pain. He had a look in his eyes that said: the least you can do is inflict pain.

Marissa let the cane slip from her fingers as her son’s stance defied her idea of punishment. She watched him stare at her with an expression that seemed lost, angry and tired. She stared back at him, trying to decipher the emotions running through him. Christina slowly walked to her mum, letting her doll fall unnoticed to the red rug surrounding the living room floor. Marissa took her on to her thighs and she wrapped her little chubby arms around her  neck, sniffing soundly.

“Go to your room Ini, get into your PJ and lay in your bed. I cant deal with you right now mbok.” She waved him away from her presence and watched him walk away, no atom of remorse whatsoever.  Marissa had never seen her son this way. Granted, his cries never lasted more than ten minutes after a spanking. But today he had shocked her and as if on cue she began to ask herself when she last heard him cry.

Holding Chris, she tried to remember when last she had actually heard him cry.  Not in the last few months. To be honest, he hadn’t committed any serious crimes that deserved any serious punishment, still it was odd.  But she did not want to dwell on it. Kids his age were known to be difficult and he was probably upset about something. But she needed to set him on a punishment that would make him understand how serious his crime was and she needed him to shed some good tears too. But what was the point of spanking a child with all your anger when he wouldn’t so much as shed a tear or feel sorry? Instead it had seemed like he was seeking some kind of attention. Her precious ML? Haba na! Their father had bought her said car  the day after Ini’s sixth birthday. Abeg the car was barely one year na ah ah! Kids? She wasn’t going to die from screaming and spanking na eh?

That night while in bed, she complained about Ini’s attitude to his father and James pacified her, promising to get it repaired the next day.

“Dont worry, I can bet that he would do something major again. He’s a boy, its very normal for them to act up…”

“With my car? Abeg don’t talk like that na. The spanking I had planned for him eh. He’s very lucky. His nintendo DS and all his games will be locked up for two weeks.”

“Ah! Calm down mbok.” James patted her left thigh and she turned into him, angling for a kiss. He kissed her lightly and when she held him tight, he gently pulled away.

Marissa heaved heavily. James, I am tired o. An kak, uwem mfo inwanghake o. It has been so long since we made love and I need you. I cant even say you are cheating because you are always home in record time. So tell me what your wahala is because I need to know why you have not touched me in almost nine months. What is going on with you?”

James shrugged and got off the bed. I am just always tired….” He began.

“Is that the excuse you will keep using because that one is going down the drain, you need to come up with another one.” She got up to a kneeling position on the huge bed. The bedside light was on, illuminating her womanly curves inside her sheer night gown. After five kids, she looked incredible. Her full thighs, brown skin shiny and spotless. Her whole body was all muscles and  he remembered the good times they shared in bed. She was looking at him checking her out, rolling the bottom of her dress up to her thighs, trying her best to use the wiles she was certain she still had. He was a gorgeous man and his dark skin never failed to appeal to her in wanton ways .

“Not tonight dear. Lemme get something to drink then see what’s on TV…”

“What’s wrong with the TV here? It’s almost midnight, you can stay…” She began but he brushed her off when she tried to pull him down.

“Fine! Go on then. I’m falling asleep already from the rejection.” She hissed, pulled her night gown tighter around her body and laid back down, turning her back to him.

 

 

Iniobong lay curled up in his bed, his blanket up to his nose as he silently watched the door. He folded his palm tight, his finger nails digging into his skin then back at the door. The wait seemed like forever and all he wished for was for the endless wait to just end so he could go back to sleep. Tuesday was school and being in school with all the books in the library that gave him peace was what he looked forward to. Coming home was like a nightmare he couldn’t handle and the only way he knew how was to act like nothing really happened. The past few weeks had become tough. Mum was too busy with the new shop she opened and only had time for the little things. He wanted his mum, wanted her to hold him and keep him safe. He wanted her to keep the monster away but even she couldn’t do that….

The silent sound of the door opening was the cue he needed. The book he had read  some days back had mentioned something about screaming. Mum had said the same thing but this was different. All the little girl had done was to open her mouth, bare her teeth, move the sides of her mouth apart and just let the sound shoot out from deep within.

“Hello precious!” The whispered greeting shot a sharp pain up his spine and he shut his eyes real tight he could almost feel his skin join together. Scream, all you have to do is scream.

 

The loud screams jolted Marissa out of her sleep. With five kids, you learn to sleep like a guard dog. She shot up on the bed when the sounds continued. She robbed her eyes vigorously with the heel of her left hand and was out of her room in a flash. It was Ini’s room. Her little boy was screaming and she had didn’t stop to ask herself why he was screaming. He never had bad dreams or problem sleeping. Maybe his crime had caught up with him? Indeed!

The door to his room was ajar and she could hear a muffled sound, like someone trying to pacify him. She touched the wall around the entrance door, feeling for the switch. The white light fell on the dark room, bringing everything into focus. Marissa first noticed the huge truck model on the top platform of the mini book shelf which was directly by her son’s single bed. Then she blinked.

Ini was sprawled on his bed, tummy down, his Pj bottom off of him and her gorgeous husband erect as an MTN mast.

Marissa stood rooted to the spot for a good five minutes before rushing over to her son and picking him up off the bed.

“Ris, wait…please just wait…I…,” James began, hiding his erection as much as he could.

Tears in her eyes, she turned half around, her son cradled safely in her arms. “I…Am…Going…To…Kill…You….”



84 thoughts on “Orchids For Angels…” by phoenix (@phoenix)

  1. Please…KILL HIM!!!! KILL THE MO’ FUCKER!!!!

    Pardon my french but…I started to have a nasty feeling when the husband was unresponsive to his wife…

    Some of the paragraphs could use some reworking. Like

    “Holding Chris, she tried to remember when last she had actually heard him cry. Not in the last few months. To be honest, he hadn’t committed any serious crimes that deserved any serious punishment, still it was odd. But she did not want to dwell on it. Kids his age were known to be difficult and he was probably upset about something. But she needed to set him on a punishment that would make him understand how serious his crime was and she needed him to shed some good tears too. But what was the point of spanking a child with all your anger when he wouldn’t so much as shed a tear or feel sorry? Instead it had seemed like he was seeking some kind of attention.”

    Try and replace some of the ‘hes’ and ‘hims’ with the kid’s name…and the punctuate more. Use more of commas and less of full stops.

    My opinion.

    Also felt like the emotion was not as strongly there as it should/could be.

    Really nice story.

  2. @Seun-Odukoya thank you for reading my story.i always look forward to comments and criticism. now reading that paragraph i c exactly what u mean.
    when u say emotion, do u mean the whole story or just a particular character
    thank you

  3. Interesting! Though your sentences need some corrections.
    I wasn’t expecting that until I was getting to the end.

    Nice.

  4. @babyada hahaha yes i just read my post again and saw d incorrect sentences. funny cos i edited three times but cut me some slack! i wrote dis while making dinner cleaning up d kids room and disciplining!!!
    thank you! always glad to keep ppl guessing…

  5. Very well written. I appreciate it as a work of art.
    BUT, for the umpteenth time, is there nothing else women would write about men??
    Haba!
    It isn’t this bad in the real world.

    1. @kaycee

      It isn’t this bad.

      It’s WORSE.

      1. @Seun-Odukoya i thought so too. its pretty nasty in the real world

        1. @seun-odukoya, if its that bad, then every man is a wife beater and child molester, including you and all the men we know.
          I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but it is not as bad as every woman is making it out to be.
          Abeg juo!
          We like to over hash and exaggerate.

          1. @kaycee c das were u get it wrong not every man is a molester or wife beater. ive watched news about women who molest their kids too or beat up their husbands.and its every bit as bad as every woman is making it
            we like to over hash n exaggerate as u say becos guess what? its called fiction…

          2. I hear you @Kaycee, sadly this is more rampart than people care to expose…men wanting sex with little boys and on the down low…sad but real.

            On a brighter note, gonna write one about an awesome man I know. Someone who somehow represents something to all of us. Damn right we have incredible stuff to brag about our men folks,and by gawd we’ll do just that! Just to make you SMILE…OKAY.

            1. see dont get me wrong there are dozens of great men out there. i write about one n y’all want to bury me alive? habbaaaa! easy na eh mbok!
              check my next post out soon. its got tons of great guys

  6. @kaycee…its funny u should say that because just last year a three year old girl told her grandmother (who was giving her a bath n trying to wash her downies) that it hurt there cos daddy always gives her “injection” Now u got to understand that the awareness of child molestation is almost zero in africa. it seems like its rampant in say america cos everyone talks about it while we in africa hide it cos “its too shameful to admit”? come on man… the real world is worse….
    thank you for reading…as always, i appreciate ur comments…
    keep them coming….
    ps u got to admit though! its bloody interesting having ‘nothing else to talk about but men’ y’all r just one disastrous topic that we love to discuss when we r not chasing after ur kids or making ur dinner or dry cleaning ur clothes or spending ur monies or fighting off ur numerous women or checking ur messages…..phew! need i say more? u get the idea now right?

      1. @myself. hahahaa thank you!

    1. Allow me disagree completely with your opinion about men……….women have their hands full as Well. Its your pre-marital secrets dat makes a man misbehave or my trying to equal him in decision making

      Who else to be the house keeper or look after the kids, him? Duh! He needs to bread win. And wats this about chasing women off him? If a woman also works and She does it So Well, wont her husband struggle to keep men off? And trust women and their secrets…..they can let anyone between their thighs at any time!

      So lets be sincere. A man adore his wife especially when She is virtuous and have No skeleton in her closet

      Advice your fellow sisters to spend their unmarried days wisely instead to ‘idle writing’ about the evil men do.lol

      1. @brytandre a little birdie is telling me dat u dont want to go there at all…
        lemme explain something to u, u can disagree all u want on my opinion cos its my opinion u dont have to like it and theres nothing like “premarital secrets”. thats an excuse lame men use to justify their lousy attitudes.
        who else to be d house keeper n look after kids? are u in d group of men who believe women are only useful in d house? r u gaming me? seriously? did u really make dat comment? dude come on dat is just wrong on soooo many levels o.
        chasing women off him…yes i used that becos some girls truly do dat no need to deny it. women and their secrets? can let anyone between their thighs? wow u have got to be born in the 18th century to use those words exactly man… a woman must not b virtuous with no skeletons in her closet to b adored. wen u meet someone, ur not with them becos they r good or wat eva. thats d stupidest reason in d history of man woman biz.
        so before u shoot out snide remarks about fellow unmarried sisters u better be able to take it if u can dish it. just saying o

        1. Oh come on. We re past the age where ‘love is blind’…..the details matter honey. Of course the man would assist her in house keeping and the kids, but in the minor. Its major for her

          You sound like the good old ‘keep your self worthy’ before marriage is out dated? Hmmm….. Okay, we should adopt the modern one ‘get screwed and a guy marries me for who i Am’ babe Please!

          Am not justifying men in anyway. But i ve met better husbands who fall for the wrong girls…..end result, they turn flirts. So whose fault?

          I do believe ‘Eve gave Adam the apple’ girls have something to offer other than an adventure-ful past which is often a hard pill to swallow!

          Just saying too. Am sure a good man like me deserves a good girl like you. For my sake and other trust worthy NS guys, men are the sweetest thing that can ever happen to a woman

          1. i think u have that the other way around. women r the best thing that happened to men…well straight men anyways.
            turn flirts? hmmm again with the choice of words
            i never meant to make u assume dat i dont believe keep urself worthy is out dated…. but for most men dude trust me dat shit dont work with them. dey fall for the wrong girls becos for these men beauty on d outside is more important for them so hey dont blame d chic for being sinfully beautiful…the man shoulda known better dan to marry a woman cos her beauty appealed to him first before anything else
            back in d days men went back to d villages to marry ‘keep urself worthy’ girls after hanging around with big city life gals
            now its not that way anymore is it? keep urself worthy girls r moving into the cities now..haha
            so much for that theory

            1. Hahahahahaha….. Forgive my pulling words outta you. Am using my poetic advantage. Sowwwy

              Since the world is So screwed, i believe we NS writers should not only pin point the problem but offer a constructive solution. In this case, women need to go back to the drawing board and cook for us a better ‘apple’ with intents to heal the world. Of course the apple in vogue is the ‘clothes that reveal erotic curves and swells’ How helpless some men get! Lol

              Nice right up again. #wink#

              1. @brytandre…ur right
                i m currently rewriting a book i wrote and one of d characters was molested by her dad n d solution? mum cut his ding dongs n all n kept him in therapy and out of d way of oda little kids…coming soon to ns soon by d way
                so does this mean i win? *winking*

                1. Hehehehehe…..now thats homicide, pure terrorism! You lose! #tucking out tongue#

                  Come on na. Cant you think of any better solution, like rehab for the man?

                  1. @brytandre….u sooo wish…
                    rehab? for real? in naija? the man would rather slit his throat

  7. hahaah @myself i got that one didnt i?

  8. Okay okay now Lemme get the ending clear……….shear disgust!! Shred him to bits!!!

    Nice. But an assault of this magnitude and kind is kinda weird dont you think?

  9. @brytandre no i dont think so actually. for me its not weird at all. i watch the news n read stories about sexual molestation on little kids and the only way i can come to terms with this kind of disgust is by writing about it and hoping that one day the awareness would get to nigeria in a bigger way than it is now which in my opinion is barely there.

    1. Wallahi, madame, we ά̲̣яε aware, Africans ά̲̣яε aware. But its not a subject we enjoy dwelling on.
      Gone are the days were peeps will leave their children with the next door neighbour. The other time, a neighbours daughter sat in my living room and we were having a wonderful discussion, and I was impressed by the sharpness of her 9 years old mind…when the mum found her, her face said a lot of things.

      Awareness, is one thing, encouraging distrust and suspicion of men is something else.

      You aren’t the only one writing these, but na you I catch red handed na

      1. @kaycee we r not cos we would talk about it on tv but no. no one enjoys dwelling on it but how can it b dealt with if its not dwelled(is der really a word like dwelled?!) on.
        d mum kept her kid wit u cos she trusted u and its left for u to either break d trust n touch d child or not. if someone reads dis n distrust a man, den its a man she always never trusted. any woman who isnt suspicious of any man she meets is well…. likewise d men.u dont trust anyone completely not ever. i may trust u not to do one thing doesnt min i trust u not to do d other thing. if d mum didnt trust u at all on anything she wont keep her precious child wit u
        i think d guys mostly r misunderstanding my post and its a bit annoying.
        where i live here ders a short route i cut thru to walk the kids to school and a child molester used to live der after his stint in prison. the neigbors chased him away and i never till tomorrow let the kids walk to school alone but i see kids younger passing thru there alone. their folks trust the safety of that short route enuf now as d man is gone but i dont. so dif strokes for dif folks…
        lmao@na u i catch red handed na.dude ur hilarious!!

  10. and thank you for reading and commenting @brytandre keep them coming, always appreciated…

  11. @seun-odukoya, if its that bad, then every man is a wife beater and child molester, including you and all the men we know.
    I am not saying it doesn’t happen, but it is not as bad as every woman is making it out to be.
    Abeg juo!
    We like to over hash and exaggerate. Already many women ά̲̣яε sneaking up on their husbands to check if they ά̲̣яε molesting their daughters.

  12. All am saying is this. It seems this is the new trend for african writers. All they write about now is rape, homosexuality, incest, wife battery.
    Fixation.
    We are just about to stop being fixated on stories about colonialism and biafra and corruption and wars, and barbarism.
    The west believe what we write more than we do, especially the negative.
    I am tired of reading about depression. With the way african writers ά̲̣яε going, soon the rest of the world would start believing that all the men do here is to beat wives, rape daughters etc.

  13. @kaycee rape homosexuality incest wife battery…dude uv just xplained the big bad world…
    the world better start believing that these things happen here too.
    why should u worry what d world thinks after all we in africa condenm d west and wen u travel out ur cautious about being out at night so u dont get mugged. i know i do and u hold ur kids close so they arent abducted, u spend money on high tech security alarms so yes d world should know dat in africa kids r molested and wives r beaten up n women are raped…i mean lets face it, an african man raped a woman n became president and dey said it was his right to rape her? here in nigeria wen a woman is raped she is blamed for it hell someone once tried to pass a law telling women to dress in ways dat would help men not rape them. in said west, girls move around in bikini tops n short shorts during the summer…if a man wants to rape u he will if he can regardless of wat u wear
    you want people to stop writing about all dat sore sad crap? initiate world peace then…
    just saying…

  14. I’m an astute advocate of balancing any given equation in whatever garb it rears itself. But as much as it’s ingrained in an averagely sane mortal to want to always relish the suspended feelings of eternal bliss, we should not, in our quest to forever float in the cloud, be so confused as to become like the old Ostrich that would bury its small head in the sand and assume every other thing around it is just okay.
    The main calling of a writer (my opinion) is to tell the world that story (whether fiction or otherwise) society has refused to tell, and that of course is whether such a story is bitter, sweet bland or all of everything rolled into a huge ball of conflicting views.
    At the end, a story should be seen to have been told.
    At Naija Stories, we must not all write the same things; after all that was why He created us all, each according to his/her inclination.
    When you mix salt and sugar, what do you get? A good solution for fighting diarrhea. Lol

    1. @myself uh huh! u said it…

  15. My own world is peaceful. You guys ά̲̣яε the ones intruding with your depressing stories.

    1. lmao…Kay u slay me! Aint mad at you though!

  16. @kaycee i have a simple solution…dont read

    1. Stop reading?…..you wish! *straight face*

      1. @brytandre…ok so dat wasnt a great come back! still u shouldnt complain about the story becos u dont like wat it implies

        1. Just speaking up for kay, you know he doesnt mean that

          Wait till you meet me personally. Your perspective would change and you d embrace positivity in reacting to life’s mess. N.B: falling in love is not allowed unless you want bubblinna to…..lol

          1. ha! and i mean dat in d nicest possible way@brytandre ‘kay’ im sure is an adult…the last i checked anyways

            1. matured minds read tragedy becos it helps them to face reality- literature will not be complete without tragedies.

  17. I laff in hebrew! When I wrote the story, YOU SHOULD NOT BLAME ME parts 1&2 on NS, some folks wanted to devour me. Why? I painted the male folks in bad light! My question was and still is, why are the male folks always fidgety and nervous whenever the truth is being told? In my village, they say u won’t call d cow “brother cow” becos u want 2 eat meat! Point is molestation is veeeeery real.*full stop* Concerning dressing, its one of my fundamental human rights and its a mode of expression.I don’t see any reason why a man in his right senses should rape me becos he thinks my dressing is provocative. But hey! Ladies pls let’s not drop our brains while dressing. Dress like ur brain cage is intact pls. Not like a mad whore! Men are turned on by what they see, ladies I dey beg!! Hheheheheh. Jst saying. Kudos @phoenix!

  18. I laff in hebrew! When I wrote the story, YOU SHOULD NOT BLAME ME parts 1&2 on NS, some folks wanted to devour me. Why? I painted the male folks in bad light! My question was and still is, why are the male folks always fidgety and nervous whenever the truth is being told? In my village, they say u won’t call d cow “brother cow” becos u want 2 eat meat! Point is molestation is veeeeery real.*full stop* Concerning dressing, its one of my fundamental human rights and its a mode of expression.I don’t see any reason why a man in his right senses should rape me becos he thinks my dressing is provocative. But hey! Ladies pls let’s not drop our brains while dressing. Dress like ur brain cage is intact pls. Not like a mad whore! Men are turned on by what they see, ladies I dey beg!! Jst saying. Kudos @phoenix!

    1. yeah…yeah!

    2. @fiyinsiku i totally agree with u on d dressing topic. as a human being i should b able to dress d way i want and of cos not become idiotic about my dressing.
      now men being moved by wat they see again ur right but thats how u can seperate d men from the dogs (no offense to d actual animal u understand) like wat u see be turned on by wat u see dont mean u have to touch if d chic says no kuku leave her alone na eh?
      thank u for reading and commenting…means a lot. thank you

    3. and u r ryt…i know wat u mean about the men being nervous wen d villian in d story is a man. if it were to b a woman, we all know d names she would b called…from jezebel to whore

      1. no i dont agree to that – actually i was expecting it would be the maid but his own son its an abomination- some of us men have brains in our heads i think this particular specie is sick and needs help.

  19. Nice one, I like the scenery…pictured it all. Kids and maid, killer body and sad hubby.

    Liked the language switch as well…Poor boy, acting out is what kids do when spooked by something/one.

    1. @dottaraphels…thank you very much…

  20. @Phoenix, I found this a very well written story.

    Somehow, I suspected this might be a child abuse story, but I didn’t know that the victim would be who it turned out to be.

  21. @phoenix, very true! U 2 much abeg!

    1. awwww @fiyinsiku thank you …

  22. @TolaO so i did keep you wondering eh? that is a good thing ya?
    thank u very much.

  23. This is good. The characters are believable which is one thing I always look out for in this kind of stories.
    But personally I detest the act, so naturally I’m getting more repulsed reading them than becoming aware of its existence.
    Nice work, kudos!

    1. @francis…i know exactly how you feel…
      growing up, i read a lot of jackie collins and sandra brown novels and i remember some of the stories had repulsive characters dat made u cringe reading their stories…but that is d whole idea behind most of these stories, to bring out the very thing that makes us all difrent thru our responses to them.
      thank you so much

  24. Kill him already!!..
    Nice story….Seriously it’s not only our girls we got to watch over this days, the boys r included…So everyone dat’s got a hole is game huh?… tscheew!..Sad..
    Welldone Phoe….

    1. Kill him? What does that solve…..*frown*

      1. @brytandre..well lets see, wat it solves? one less sex offender, the child feels a lot safer than knowing the man can get to him or any other person. u wont b talking this way if u have a kid of ur own. sure its quick for us as human beings to judge but isnt that wat makes life worth living? a woman driving past a car in PH screamed hell n pulled over when she saw d drivers hand up the little girls skirt..dis is a complete stranger who doesnt know d girl but acted as a human being and a woman
        my first instinct on seeing anyone molesting my child or any child at all is murder murder murder…if u dont c it like dat, well das wat makes me difrent from u…

    2. @sibbylwhyte… sad but true right?
      thank you…

  25. @phoenix this is good. Please allow me help cut that man’s bit off. I will be quite happy to oblige.

    What a bastard!

    1. @aturmercy thank you…that every human beings first thought…well mostly every human being

  26. u never stop tantalizing us with your stories- good story. unfortunately its against my constituency but why will a man go to do it with his boy when his wife is begging and offering him something more moist and juicy? honestly that man is mad and should be hung by his balls.catcha ya.

    1. @mikeeffa thank you… but ya that is the craziness that seems to unbalance the world as we know it.people are doing crazy things and it is not only in America and Europe. its in Africa too
      hung by d balls is extremely apt!
      thank you

  27. father forgive the men for their numerous sins against women and children.

    1. @mikeeffa …its sad that here in Nigeria the laws of the country favor the men and this keeps some men thinking that women r lesser beings and should remain in d kitchen or wherever they deem fit for her.
      sure the bible said a woman should submit to her husband but as usual with all other scriptures, it has been interrpretted badly…

  28. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    Hmmm, it sure is hot in here, my two kobo? I like your boldness in handling the child abuse issue. Most children are abused by family members and it often continues for years unnoticed. Your Ibibio was fun but a bit inaccurate, too many mboks, other expressions like Sai! Iyam mi O! Ayawiyo! would have come handy. Good job, keep writing.

    1. hahahaha@nicolebassey…i have no idea how to speak ibibio! i consulted a friend who translated for me. Mbok is d only original ibibio i know so hey lmao!
      thank you , comments appreciated!

  29. na wa oh! that man should just die. irritating creature. God forbid. thank you Phoenix for this beautiful but very annoying piece.

    1. i know exactly what u mean @moskeda thank you for ur comment. too many kids r being molested and no one is talking about it. the idea to put it in my short story collection actually came as a fluke!

  30. This is painful… I’m close to tears.

    This paragraph is kinda muddled up:
    “The silent sound of the door opening was the cue he needed. The book he had read some days back had mentioned something about screaming. Mum had said the same thing but this was different. All the little girl had done was to open her mouth, bare her teeth, move the sides of her mouth apart and just let the sound shoot out from deep within.”

    This feels real; the characters and their emotions are very easy to relate with. Very well done @phoenix

    1. yes i see what u mean now…i think this is one of the reasons i stick to NS. it gives writers the chance to criticize and be criticized, learn and grow faster than they would if they just write and pile up manuscripts.
      thank you,

  31. Whoa…
    Nice story, but could do with some cleaning…

    1. yep i believe that too and im not going to come up with the excuse of 2500 words not being enough!!!
      thank you for reading anyways!!

  32. The man deserves to be shot, hanged and shot again… Bastard!!!

    Welldone @Phoenix

    1. oh ya @lancaster…the prick abi? its so easy for people to be ignorant towards child molestation because child abuse is a regular thing and in an odd way (and i think it stems from our up bringing as africans) we dont want to accept the reality of child sexual molestaion so families hide it out of fear and shame
      thank you

  33. there are tears in my eyes ..oh boy…there are not enough words to describe how great your story is… great job @phoenix ….

    1. @kiah…awwww thank u so very much….your comment is d main reason i enjoy writing…thank you again

  34. Ewwwwwww!!! God eeeiih! Why didn’t you kill him?

    1. @johnnysnow his death is left to the imagination of each reader! lol

  35. four things i think i want to say is:
    1. i love this piece
    2.it feels like i just read a better ending version of Danielle Steel
    3.you should get that really cleaned and loaded, then publish it
    4. what was she waiting for….
    i would tell him anything… i would just kill him.

    1. @horpemiohtan…. thank you very much and i used to read Danielle Steel so for you to say what u did is pretty cool of u. thank you again.

  36. The question is how should we kill him? Cos we must.
    You wrote this well

    1. @osakwe i know wat u mean hahah….there are different ways he could be killed! all u got to do is choose the appropriate one.haha. thank you for reading!

  37. The evil in the heart of men….
    @phoenix u write well….

Leave a Reply