Are you turning into your Mother?

I was confronted by this question this morning when I realised that, much like my mother, I have become quite fond of a particular shade of brick-red lipstick. And, like her, all my makeup comes in shades of ‘Cadbury colours’ – purples and chocolate browns.
This is not hereditary; I learned this along the way. I started thinking about all the little similarities between my mother and myself.

And why do people say you’re turning into your mother like that’s a bad thing?
I mean, my mother has

  • Survived a war (while pregnant, newly-wed and moving house)
  • Run a business
  • Taught four young girls how to knit
  • Bandaged countless wounds, cuts and bruises (both emotional and physical)
  • Cried over sick grandchildren
  • Baked heavenly cakes
  • Given good advice, counsel, guidance and prayer requests
  • Rescued a child from an abusive partner
  • Fed the hungry and clothed the poor
  • Prayed for a nation, and

My mother, however, is no saint. But what I admire most about her is her ability to make the most of what is available to her.
She is as human as the rest of us, with all her faults and strengths. I am in no position to judge.

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.” Oscar Wilde

I admire her for all the times in my childhood when she would take the simplest things in the fridge and turn them into delicious meals. For the times when she would take week old bread, 2 day old pineapple pieces and leftover bones from her beef shopping and turn them into French toast, pineapple tarts and rich broth, respectively.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with turning into your mother, as long as you learn from her good qualities and habits.

I love that as my mother has gotten older, she’s shrunk just a little bit, enough so that we are now the same height…she was taller than me for so long! Now we stand eye to eye, and though she has never been emotionally expressive, I can’t seem to keep myself from touching her soft hands or hugging her when I see her.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.  ~Tenneva Jordan

I love my mother’s biting sarcasm and her quick wit. i love that she does the crossword puzzle in pen, just to tick off my father, who looks forward to doing it with her daily. It keeps him on his toes, and by the next day he gets his hands on the paper first!

I love that at 72, my mother still feels the need to play with my father, to compliment him and flirt sometimes in that special way she has.

I love that she can answer me honestly when I ask the loaded question, “Does this make my ass look fat?”

That she is my biggest fan, and thinks all my ideas have merit, so I can run them by her without fear of being criticised or made fun of.

The greatest compliment I have ever received was given to me last year, when I went to see a close cousin who was dedicating her baby in church.

There I was in her kitchen, sweating, cooking, pounding, crushing, slicing, peeling, mixing and frying as she sat in the corner cradling the baby. Suddenly she asked me where I learned all I know about baking, cooking, and crafting. And her mother said,
“Well, can’t you see she gets it from her mother? I never saw someone with such a gift for taking something ordinary and making it special! That woman can cook cardboard and you’d ask for seconds!”

That made my head swell, my chest fill with pride and my eyes bulge with happiness!
… Or maybe it was just all the onions I was peeling at the time!?

31 thoughts on “Are you turning into your Mother?” by hotchocolate (@hotchocolate)

  1. Thank you for this! I ve always wanted to write something like this for my Mum. And, today being my Mum’s birthday, i’ll simply dedicate this to HER, with your permission of

  2. With your permission of course.

  3. *smiles* That Oscar Wilde quote is just so cool.

    Nice piece.

  4. @ibagere, you have my permission. @guywriter and @banky, thanks for the kind words

  5. You know how to cook like your mama?
    Come and pay my groom price. I have been searching for a wife who can cook something aside from indomie.

    I enjoyed this.

  6. @kaycee, how funny you are!

  7. I absolutely enjoyed reading this. The part about her flirting with your dad and all of that, @ 72, made me wear a huge smile.

  8. I love dis,pple always say i act lyk my mum and am proud of it….kudos

  9. I like this,i could sense your pride in realising that you’re becoming like your mother and even in being compared to her.She really must be something.
    Its so sad that for some,the thought of becoming like their mothers is never a thing of pride.

    1. @charla, yes she is quite phenomenal. thank u for your kind words.

  10. @Olaedo, thanks so much. They do still flirt, and its fun to watch!

  11. Had tears in my eyes reading this, you nailed it, i’ll find away of getting this across to my mum even if it means writing out and presenting it to her.

  12. Lovely piece…something that would be very apt for mothers’ day.

    I really don’t agree with Oscar Wilde’s quote. And that’s because I took a lot from my mother that reminds me of her – the way I cook, clean up, table manners, and a host of other things reflect my Mum.

    its easily faulted. Thank God he said it long ago.

    Thanks for this piece…it made me reflect on my super mom

    1. @Afronuts, so you know how to cook? Pls how much is your own groom price…or has somebody gotten there first?;)

  13. beautiful piece. well done

    1. @osakwe, thank you so much!

  14. Lovely…mothers are golden. You write beautifully.
    But please do onions make one’s eyes bulge with happiness?

    1. @topazo, they make mine bulge with tears

  15. @hotchocolate, mama raised you well child! What an execellent tribute to mom’s.

    Those anecdotes pulled it just in :) I did show mama this, “Good gal!” she said after reading it.
    Oh..btw, you are in great company gal, many awesome gals have turned to their uber awesome mom!

    1. @dottaraphels, thank you so much for the endorsement, and be sure to kiss your mum!

      1. @dottaraphels: I would have been shocked if I didn’t see your footprints here!! :)

  16. Women no go kill us ooo@Your Father was a good hunter, why not writing about HIM? But I like this…Mothers are too much…But I bet you@Uche, you can never cook like your MUM!

    1. @Zubi, my father’s epistle is a labour of love in progress! And we all cook like my mum, most of all my brother!

  17. Nice one here lady.
    You seem to have a keener leaning to non-fiction. You write well. Your parents should be proud of you. Don’t mind the picture of years back but yes, I would be proud of the online persona of one like you. You do your people well and this tribute is just it. We really do need to see lots more of these kind of things.
    On the whole, well done for a lovely piece. Would probably have to repost this on my blog someday. Mothers deserve every praise they get and a whole lot more. Pass our regards to your mother. Tell her this from me, if you would, that she’s a great woman who I admire really much. For all she stands for, may the heavens bless her. Tell her she would find smiles and laughter far more and that the grace of the heavens would ever be hers to hold.
    Her husband deserves all the praise too. Would reserve my comment till I see that labour of love of yours. May Chukwu bless them both.

    1. @SUddie, you betcha! lol….see what @hotchocolate did here,perhaps one day one of the 7 will do me great too :)
      It always makes a heart glad when mom’s are appreciated in this manner,like you I can’t wait to hear about her papa.

      1. Maybe we can work on that before then, eh? @dottaraphels?
        But when it is time let all write o!! If not…hmm!

  18. @hotchocolate about a guy not turning into his mother being his tragedy…I beg to However though,men do tend to have an emotional connection to their moms for almost the whole of their life especially first sons like myself. I enjoyed this piece all the same.

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