The detective took his gold rimmed bifocal glasses out of his inner coat pocket; he then wore a glove and opened the transparent evidence bag. The paper was white and the handwriting was tiny and neat. The detective divulged into the contents and began to swim between the lines.
***
I am the happiest man active today. In less than 24hrs, my destiny would be sealed. I would be the man who has enjoyed life the most; probably till the end of time. You must be perplexed; let me tell you how it all begun.
It was my 2nd year in LAUTECH. Those times when a high CGPA wasn’t my top priority, meanwhile they could be fueled up by paying off few lecturers. It was those times when the urge to have a partner was high, a female one for me and me alone. Then every lady I met always had one excuse or the other to give for rejecting my love proposal. Either they tell me they would get back to me, or that they would think about it. The most annoying one is when they tell me that they have a boyfriend. My head would turn on with heat anytime I hear that reply, they said it fancifully as if they were engaged with them.
After hearing a lot of those replies, I began to feel that I was a loser. My mates were with high players with two –three girlfriends that they would just play with, while I was without one. What pained me the most is the blind eyes ladies have; they refuse to see the facts and accept it! I wasn’t going to screw a hundred of them and at the end marry an innocent virgin. I wanted someone who would love me and I would do so in return. I wanted a future wife. My father always told me “be good and good shall follow”, I guess that fact is outdated; at least it hasn’t worked for me so far.
Things continued like that until we did this course that changed everything. It threaded and seeded my rising ecstasy. The course was ironically the abstract inorganic chemistry; CHM 212 to be precise. The course was all about the electrochemical series. Chemical elements that are higher in the electrochemical series tend to displace the ones lower in any given reaction. In that sense, potassium would always displace sodium, and calcium would always displace zinc, just simply because it was higher than it in the electrochemical series. It was during this time that my little gray cells worked brilliantly and it struck me that I could make this work out in the human world to my advantage. I came from a rich and influential family. I could easily substitute guys for the element and I could displace them off any lady, after all its natural. They say “money can buy you happiness only if you know where to shop”. It was during this time Kate came into the picture.
***
The detective flipped the page, it was blank.
Agent Rowland opened the door. “Sir, the Team A is here with Miss Kate Bikessketh, am sure you want to have a word with her”
“More than a word Agent Rowland, she is a prime suspect in this case”. The detective tidied up. “Here, hold this note for me, let me talk to her and I want this place locked up; it’s the cradle of this crime solution”
***
Miss Kate Bikessketh was dressed in a wedding gown. She looked depressed and she sat with a vivid impatient look. Detective Greins walked in.
“Detective, who the hell do you think you are, I have a wedding by 11:00am, and I was preparing for it until your goons came and arrested me. Gosh, Dayvid must not hear this”
“Madam, Dayvid will never hear because he is dead,and you are a prime suspect for his murder”
“Dayvid, dead…. My husb–“
“Before you start crying your crocodile’s tears, can you explain why you were going to marry two men on the same day?”
“I am not in for these accusations, my husband is dead on my wedding day, and the first thing you say is that I am the murderer and that am getting married to two different men in the same day. I beg your pardon, but you must be mad”
“Okay then” shouted the detective. “Explain these two invitation letters, weren’t you going to marry Mr Daniel Adebanjo and jilt Dayvid. That wasn’t cool, but killing him off seems perfect. You planned with the maid and you scared him to death”
Miss Kate was silent. Her innards began to burn; it was so fierce that she began to feel real uncomfortable. Her eyes rolled slowly at first. She looked at the ceiling, their numbers doubled, and then it turned to infinite. Her legs jacked up and they failed to carry her snakelike body. In an instance, she was down, on the journey to oblivion.
The detective face fell. Agent Rowland was kneeling on the floor with his hands on Kate’s chest performing CPR on her.“Revive her and keep her in custody; we have 48hours before she requests for a lawyer, meanwhile send Team A to bring in Mr Banjo Adebayo in for questioning”
***
The detective sat up on his desk. The forensic just sent the reports with the crime scene photo inclusive. Everyone else at the station was tense about the situation;“A man committing suicide on his wedding day; what an absurdity”. The door blew open. Agent Rowland walked in
“Sir Mr Daniel Adebanjo is here”
“Good Agent, put him and Miss Kate in the interrogation room, and make sure you watch them on the monitor, I need to hear their conversation”, the detective adjusted on his seat. “Let me rush through Dayvid’s will, I would join you soon”
***
The detective watched Mr Adebanjo and Miss Kate as they sat motionlessly and speechlessly from behind the translucent glass. Agent Rowland stood beside him.
“What did they say?” the detective inquired
“Nothing criminal sir, Miss Kate briefed him about the whole crime, and they swore not to say a word to you until they see their lawyer”
The detective moved forward and held the door handle of the interrogation room; he turned the handle and looked back to Agent Rowland, “I know how to handle people like them”
***
Mr Daniel Adebanjo cupid shaped face changed to a firm one as the detective walked in, He clenched his tooth together, his athletic body swelled up and he for the moments resembled a blood thirst cannibal. The detective sat with his left thigh on the brown interrogation table with his right leg on the floor supporting his weight. The room was still and quite as none of them said a word.
“It doesn’t matter if either of you say a thing or remain silent, but know that both of you are suspect of a murder of Mr Dayvid Tokura and I have the rights to detain you both for the next 48 hours as suspects. You can help yourselves and make this whole ordeal shorter if you cooperate otherwise, we can stare at each other’s eye for the next 48hrs, am prepared for more than that”, the detective said. “And note that we do have evidence”
“Evidence of what?” Mr Adebanjo said wide eyed
“Yes, you sent a parcel to Mr Dayvid today, and that fits into my murder theory”
“It was just an invitation, or is it a crime to send an invitation to a longtime friend?”
“I understand the strings you want to pull. Listen every food is poison, only the dose determine the lethality”, the detective said letting each words sink.
“Actually I know Dayvid’s death is suicidal, but it was a catalyzed one, and you and Miss Kate are the catalyst, you—”
Mr Daniel stood up and shouted,“Enough of this nonsense detective is that how you investigate a crime, by wrongly accusing suspects?”
“You just said it right, that why I called you suspects and not criminals”
“Okay then, what’s this theory of yours?”
The detective moved stood up and pocket both hands, he then began to walk round the room.
“You sent the invitation to Dayvid to make mockery of him, and you were going to marry his fiancé because she told you she is the next of kin in Dayvid’s will. I also—”
“Mr Detective or whatever you call yourself. Your theory is as dumb as you are. I don’t have time for this mumbo jumbo’s of yours, and I won’t say a word until my lawyer comes”
“Do whatever pleases you”, the detective said gently. He then moved towards the door. He held the handle and turned back
“I would love to see you dumb for the next 48hours”
To be continued
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Kay Greins @kodeya
A Grein mind with a Grein ideology, and believes in a GreinWorld.
I love writing; you say its an art, I say it is an hobby. I think my greatest influence has being Agatha Christie, but my best novel is "The Godfather" by Mario Puzo........Go to Kay Greins's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
Hmmm….ok, I reserve my comment till I read d end part.
Waiting for the next episode…
@shadiat: the end part shall be out on the 17th. That’s Wednesday.
Thanks for stopping to read
Hmmm. Haven’t read the other part yet. I’m just gonna critique this one and move on.
“The detective took his gold rimmed bifocal glasses out of his inner coat pocket; he then wore a glove and opened the transparent evidence bag. The paper was white and the handwriting was tiny and neat. The detective divulged into the contents and began to swim between the lines.”
You say too much and not enough. The glasses were taken out of the pocket; and then what happened to them? If you had said ‘The detective wore his bifocal glasses…’ or something like that.
‘The paper was white’…what paper?…and then, how did he see the paper (I’m assuming the paper is one of the contents of the evidence bag) if he ‘divulged *clears throat* into the contents’ in the following action? From your sentence(s), it sounds as though he saw the paper BEFORE opening the bag.
I think you should just take the time to tie down what you want to say…and then say it in the simplest way.
““More than a word Agent Rowland, she is a prime suspect in this case”. The detective tidied up. “Here, hold this note for me, let me talk to her and I want this place locked up; it’s the cradle of this crime solution””
Unnecessary grammar gymnastics. Dialogue should be sequential and lead your readers in. Punctuation is also a huge issue.
You can write, undoubtedly. Just take time in tightening your technique..which is really what makes the work stand out.
Well done.
@Seun-Odukoya
I thank you so much for your critique.
This is my first story told in a dialogue format, so I expected some errors and grammatical stunts. Thanks once more