Silence…
Golden silence.
He couldn’t remember the last time he experienced such.
He could now hear birds chirping and the savour of fried eggs wafting through the air…
“Was this Wonderland?” he thought,expecting Alice of the wonderland to rouse him up any moment from now.
” Ahia Gate,One Chance!” the bus conductor’s Voice clearly distorted due to excessive intake of Indian hemp boomed above the blaring horns and voices of hustling women preparing for the morning market.
Silently cursing as he remembered that he had slept in a stall because he worked late,he needed the money and the truck pushing Job as far he knew was God sent.
…Dusting his brown dirty hole infested Jean trousers he started heading home,stopping to buy
cubes of Sugar for his usual early morning garri…and to have thought he had feelings for fried eggs-if wishes were horses…
He had no doubt that all was going to turn out well,he believes a God who does great and wondrous things.
Sitting under the large orange tree in the middle of the compound of his great uncle’s house he thought back on his life wondering why his mother didn’t name him Jabez after the Jabez of the Holy Bible considering what she went through-abandoned by the little liver of a man who sired him.The only person who took pity on his Poor Mother after her religious parents kicked her out was great Uncle Ibenna,God bless his Soul.
Uncle Ibenna died of a cancer…the doctors called it one big name-the name doesn’t matter now,does it?-Uncle Ibenna died.And now,Mr Death is back for the only person he has.
His Mum.
“Heaven helps those who help themselves” he told himself.
His Mum has suffered too much to die now,having sold her last ‘whatever’ to pay his final fees.
He has two papers to go,and then he will be a graduate of Computer Engineering.
His Mum was what kept him going real hard-if he misses the first class honours he sought,it would be by few points.
But what mattered was the present.
Saving his Mum.
That he will do after this deal.The deal didn’t promise a Jackpot,but it promised was going to be enough.
After all,his mum named him to be a blessing to her and that he was going to be.
She christened him Chigozirim Nwaoma Ibe.
He could feel the sweat breaking across his brow and his shirt gradually getting soaked up with sweat-he didnt forget to wear a singlet,he simply had none.
The Sweat had nothing to do with the weather.
It also had nothing to do with the question paper staring at him.The questions were way too easy for a 500 Level Student.
It was a 300 level Course.
And the fact that professor Adekunle Was approaching his Seat made the sweat pour down in torrents.
It wasn’t a Carry over course.
What it was could be described as a criminal act.
An act of impersonation.
…As Prof. Ade turned his I.D card to compare with the script’s Reg No.,he knew it was Game Over.
He wept.
Not because he was going to lose his admission.
But because he was going to lose his Mother.
…Only God,he believed,could save his Mother.
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15 YEARS LATER
waking up,he turned the alarm off,it was 7.00am.
Still wearing what he wore the previous day,he tried to stretch his joints thinking about how hectic yesterday had been.
He stopped to take a swig from the bottle lying on the floor on his way to the bathroom.
Drying himself afterwards,he thought about how hard life was.
The Wheelbarrow Job.
The Rustication.
The bus Conductor Job-with the occasional hemp smoking.
The dirty job of a male prostitute sleeping with rich married women…but thank God for being God and rescuing him…
The shrill ring of the telephone jerked him back to reality as he thought about the second JAMB…
“hello” he drawled.
“Good morning Sir,the president is on line two,he has been calling since morning and…”
“Janice,apologize and ask him to call by noon” he interrupted his special assistant,”…and also ask the driver to pick my mum from the airport,also get the 2nd Jet ready for me by Three this afternoon”,he concluded.
Turning the Large-Very large Plasma T.V on,he read the headlines below the Screen”Nigerian Multi million Dollar worth CEO of Axterix Technologies,Engr. Chigozirim Ibe hits the market with latest invention…”.He turned the T.v off,hated the attention.
Smiling as the smell of fried eggs hit his nostrils,he joined Alice,his pregnant sleeping beauty of a wife on the bed…
On his to-do list,she beat the president’s call
And in the silence…
The Golden silence.
He could hear the birds chirp.
“God gave him everything in his own time.” he thought as he kissed his Alice softly on the lips.
As far as he was concerned,he was in Wonderland…and about wishes and horses,he was riding.Riding hard!
Guy, the descriptions were forced.
From that Alice wonderland part, to the truck pushing job, and the dirty jeans….
Na there i stop.
But, you really made an effort, write and send in 3 or 4 more posts and you will see how you have improved.
Tanx bro.I appreciate.
Tanx bro.I appreciate.
Tanx bro.I appreciate.
Fairy tale with no explanation of meteoric wealth. Writing must hint at the improbable and seek to explain even the impossible.
Good. Try harder. Ur descriptions looked kinda dull. The wonderland thing didnt argu well but . . . If wishes were horses.
Anyways, splendid storyline, superb concept, sweet whispering. Enjoyed it. Lesson packed.
Okay…I don’t know what to really make of this…apart from the fact that this is a story that handles the theme of ‘from rags to riches’ I’m not sure I see elements that make it a full bodied story. You jumped from scenario to scenario with no connecting reason…at some point I got confused whether you were telling different stories in one story.
You made postulations with no viable explanations; things happened to your character for no apparent reason. That alone erodes it from being a story.
But I see potential… All I will say is keep writing like Kaycee suggested. You will definitely get better!
Good attempt. Too flowery and lacks real substance, though.