Naked

Under your watchful glare

I feel my coverings pale,

Then vanish altogether

Beneath your orbits shower,

I lay uncovered and bare

Nothing is hidden,

No cover up allowed

You unveil my soul

Open me up,

To discovery

Dissection

Devotion

or Disdain,

There are no lies

Whims or caprice here,

Everything is known

Plain, exposed,

I lift my head,

despise the shame

Two can play

The naked game.



22 thoughts on “Naked” by Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

  1. Nice.
    “despise the shame”
    Is that what you intended to write?
    or
    “despite the shame”
    Well done.

    1. Thanks @kaycee, I meant despise the shame, eg for the joy set before Him , Christ despised the shame. Thanks for reading.

    1. What is quite strongly @sontel? Pray tell…

      1. @nicolebassey. Your expression of the experience is strong. It hurries me along to the very end. In fact, when I got to the end, it was rather sudden.

        1. :-) Well it is nice and you understood and enjoyed it, surely you ll forgive its brevity or would you like a longer version? WARNING : It might not be as nice!

          1. Oh no @nicolebassey. I really prefer the short version. Thanks.

  2. Now, this is poetry @nicolebassey.

    you seem to replace full-stops with comma eg:

    or Disdain,[FULL-STOP]
    There are no lies
    Whims or caprice here [FULL-STOP]

    am i right?

    1. Hmm, The first one yes. the second is a matter of taste i think . Or what do the poets say @writefight @midas @whizdapoet @ostar @andersonpaul @jefsaraurmax @sibbylwhyte

        1. I think a full stop works better as @xixay has noted.

      1. Nice one @nicolebassey!As @xikay suggested, I would remove all the comas at the end of the verses.I don’t think that they are necessary.Well done!

  3. Hmmm…very powerful poem–powerful imagery!

  4. @nicolebassey yes, powerful, I have prayed.
    Powerful is indomitable.

    Poetry doesn’t go augur well with fullstops.

  5. @sunshine, how did you come about your choice of words? they are powerful……… i envy

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      @boshopandy not me , they came to me, don’t be, you can do better. : )

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