Jul 252012
The song I came to sing
Remains unsung to this day
I have waited so long for the right time
To find voice for the words
That would give my soul release
I have waited for him
The bringer of dreams; the finisher of starts
To come knocking at my door
To bring his light into my void
And lend voice to my words
I have waited
And still I am waiting
Waiting for him
To find his way to me
Surely, he would come to me
Yet a thought lends itself speech
In the deep recesses of my mind
Saying,
“Wiser be He who searches
Than He who waits.”
- Inspired by Tagore.
P.S.: I am not so good with this sort of thing cos I rarely write poems. Would therefore love to your corrections and criticisms. Thanks.
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shadiat @shadiat
Shadiat is a young Nigerian who has been writing for some time now. She is a voracious reader, an avid movie fan and a lover of music.Go to shadiat's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
My my, this is lovely !!! Simple, guiless, poignant, passionate. I really like this, do another one already!
Thanks. Glad u like it.
I love this. Well written
Thanks
Well, not bad for a start. I feel it is bland; like you just scratched the surface of what you really wanted to express or you had an idea and didn’t work it enough. The expression ‘deep recesses of my mind’ is a cliche now, if you ask me, especially because this is poetry and imagery means a lot in poetry.
Well done.
Will work on those flaws in subsequent poems. Thanks, really appreciate your comment.
It is not outstanding.
Is that all? Constructive criticisms, please. Thanks.
biko dont be answering kaycee oh! he can break people’s hearts eh! this was a job well done especially for a start. ask @kaycee for his first poem.
Unheard song is sweeter than heard ones….
From here, “In the deep recesses of my mind” exhumes
all art and especially poetry. Since you’ve been here, hang
in there and see the marvel of a poet to evolve in you.
Thanks for taking the time read and comment.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Good poetry.Keep it up.
Thank u.
Simple, I like…but then I don’t know much about poetry
. Well, I didn’t see any gross ‘errors’…and the meaning of the poem appears very straight-forward, perhaps too obvious considering that this is, ‘poetry’ after all.
Glad u like it
Sounded like what we all go through.
Nice try!