She smiled at me, she winked, she laughed…but I couldn’t touch her. She was right in front of me but I could not adjust her long, dark hair, tilt her oval chin or trace a playful line down a side of her glowing face. She wanted me to hold her, I saw it in her eyes yet I didn’t.
We talked for several short hours throughout that day on life, love, politics and the future. We made and played beautiful music and told tales of the nostalgic past.
I looked away again, made no attempt to hide my false interest in the surrounding scenery because I’d somehow noticed how her smile got brighter when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. I totally deceived her. She thought I was staring at other things…but I was only trying to get a better view. All of my optical focus was directed to peripheral vision so I could ‘scope’ her face, optimally. No harm in that tiny bit of dishonesty, eh?
It was wonderful, being with a woman who understood me. I was filled to bursting with a strong soothing sense of peace and balance. Work and hustle, fights and tussles would inevitably resume the next day, but that moment, that night, all I wanted was to reach out, take her hand and savour the feel of her warm skin against mine as I fell asleep.
But then she stopped smiling, because I got cocky and told her about my little observation. She held her face stoically,summoned that impressive self-will I admired, and I knew I was in trouble .Nothing more that I said, however funny, sarcastic or satirical elicited a change in her facial expression. I contemplated capitulation but my pride disagreed. I refused to humbly retract my statement, therefore our petty mind-game continued. I bet I could have ‘won’ easily if I’d played dirty by subtly reminding her of my feelings for, and perception of her.
She admonished me to give up but I cheerfully retorted with references to gallant heroes of history and lore, and some very current and contemporary, thieving villains. I opined that if even the vile and contemptible were dedicated, how could I do less?
Needless to say, I lost that contest. She didn’t budge even when I attempted way to obscure and obfuscate her sterling victory, by suggesting that I had a bigger plot in place which she’d been unwittingly subject to.
Perhaps it was compensation for my ‘loss’, but when I finally said farewell, she bid me come closer, and plastered a swift, crimson seal on my lips.
OR, that’s what would have happened, if only I could have touched her.
I smiled at the IM audible she sent, and signed out. My webcam’s blue light, fizzled out and yielded to the darkness.
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lelouch @lelouch
Curious and playful, learning to tell the stories I see and live. Personal Blog, www.misguidedreflections.wordpress.comGo to lelouch's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
This is so true. And the end was catchy and impossible. Such a twist!
thanks @fervency, it is.
nice
thanks for reading. see u around.
Really good, the twist at the end worked.
twist? i re-read this and i think simple, predictable…I need to do differently next time. what do you think? isn’t my ‘style’ a bit unusual? very ‘first-person-perspective’ oriented?
I like this…I knew it was going to have a twist at the end…and you succeeded in not giving it away thus making me to wonder…and eventually you ended it nicely…leaving the residue of imagination lingering…
lol…see what you made me write – just the way you ended it.
well done
I liked the story, @Lelouch. Well written, and with a interesting observation about the ‘games’ that people play when they are getting to know each other.
I’m not quite sure about what the ‘contest’ was, though…
if you re-read the fourth paragraph’s first line, I’m confident that you’ll see that the contest was all about.
It’s still not clear, but don’t worry about it, @Lelouch. I was guessing that it was all about whether she agreed that she liked him, but that doesn’t seem very obvious.
oh, she does, she does!
“She smiled at me, she winked, she laughed”
“We talked for several short hours throughout that day on life, love, politics and the future. We made and played beautiful music and told tales of the nostalgic past”
“I bet I could have ‘won’ easily if I’d played dirty by subtly reminding her of my feelings for, and perception of her”
I thought, those lines made it clear, ‘the contest’…was about getting her to keep smiling.
Writers!
I take it, you like this?
Thanks.
Writers! Readers!
I take it, you like this?
Thanks.
Writers! Readers! neither would exist without the other.
@kaycee: what do you think about this?
I’d like to hear your critical opinion.
The contest was not even about getting her to keep smiling. It was to get her to be as free and unpretentious as she gets whenever your attention seemed to be else where.
Direct attention makes new acquaintances shy or..whatever.
It is a very good story. You had no intention that the webcam line was a twist because you knew all along. A reader would only know this at the end of the story.
It is an almost perfect work.
@kaycee: more than getting her to smile… yeah! you’ve given ME, more insight into MY own experience
!
Thanks. Naturally, I’ll be trying for perfect next time.
The twist at the end made me feel like having been fooled. It totally erased the pictures in my head and replaced them with the reality of the tale. This is good! thumbs up!
Gracias, perhaps I should have titled this ‘the twist?’ , seeing as almost everyone thinks it’s ‘twisted’…:)
This kind of story is what you call- thriller. The ending part was the best… 9ice shot
Nicely written…I so liked the ending.
Very nice…I am always slightly intimidated by people who freely use the word “obfuscate”
@hotchocolate: Thanks. Don’t be! It’s like the only ‘big’ word I know so I tend to wave it around like a banner
Nice….
very nice