Silence is said to be golden. Silence is golden.
In the lieu of silence, the past, present and future are captured.
In the lieu of silence, guilt awakens.
In the lieu of silence, the walls of the mind are built.
In the lieu of silence, pain is conceived.
In the lieu of silence, a waterfall of thoughts are expanded.
In the lieu of silence, anger builds up.
In the lieu of silence, decisions face one another.
In the lieu of silence, worlds are torn apart.
In the lieu of silence, the inner man is reached.
In the lieu of silence, misery becomes a companion.
In the lieu of silence, an identity is formed.
In the lieu of silence, reality becomes ugly.
In the lieu of silence, fear and worry are displaced.
In the lieu of silence, a funeral is arranged.
In the lieu of silence, peace and comfort are the luxury.
The beauty of silence. It comes from both worlds, cold yet full of life.
And the best conversations are ones in which silence is the discussion.
Hello everyone, this is my very first post. I wrote it a year ago and decided to give it a shot. Please feel free to leave comments. I would like to know what you think about it. Thanks.
I think the repetition was excessive. If you have varied it, it might have been better. I like the intended message though. Well done
The thing does not make sense. The whole of it.
In lieu of silence means In stead or in place of silence.
So in place of silence, funerals ά̲̣яε arranged, and all these other things you mentioned happens in the stead of silence.
Tell me there is another meaning.
And @kaycee says what I refrained from saying. This is exactly why I said “intended meaning” because your use of in lieu of is not correct…I think. You must have made a terrible assumption.
There is some merit in your idea and i like the rhythm. But as @chemokopi said the beauty of this approach is drowned when overdone. Also i disagree with the phrase ‘ in the lieu of’ shouldn’t that read in lieu of? English and grammar majors please help! Not bad for a first poem, keep writing, keep improving, cheers.:-)
Where are my manners! Welcome to Naija Stories, and congratulations on your first post. If you are temperate enough to to take criticism in good faith here, you will be surprised how great you will become in your art. Again, I say welcome.
This is it @chemokopi.
And good enough there’s light @sunshine
Just be ready for such sweet cases @kaycee.
Welcome to martyrdom!
I second @Kaycee.
And the best conversations are not the ones where silence is the discussion, but the ones where U go away better.
your baptism of fire, eh. well never mind, keep writing and pay @kaycee no mind. He is mean! @raymond though, him you can listen to if you want to be Nigeria’s Stephen King.
Welcome…keep writing.
to get better you must take criticisms, so keep writing and polishing your craft
It started well till I, presumably like everyone else, got bored. At the beginning, a message seemed to be forming…then it just got distorted.
Thanks to everyone for the comments. They are much appreciated, like I said this is my very first post and I needed the comments to see my mistakes and help point me in the right direction. This reply has been long overdue but forgive me for the delay and yes it was suppose to be “In lieu of silence”.