Carnage of the Vindictive 1

The bulky man laughed hilariously. It was obvious that he was enjoying every bit of what he was doing, tormenting his victim. He laughed at her and laughed again. It was pay back time.

Emelda wasn’t enjoying any of it, not one bit. Ever since she found herself in the dilapidated building a week ago it had been from one horrible torture to another. If she wasn’t been raped over and over again she was been beaten. She was siting in a back seat with her hand tied behind her. She was wearing nothing but her favorite G-string which was now torn due to the excessive rapes.She spat at the man and stared at him with squinted black eyes. She hated him now just the way she had loved him.

she had met him in a party three months ago. He was devilishly handsome and daring that she felt her heart fell to him at first sight even without him making any approach but then her dreams where scattered when her friend Philo introduced him to her as her fiance. She took the hard blow but she wasn’t daunted. She sent him love text, bought gifts for him and called him excessively until he burgled. Their love life had began as a secret and had continued. It was so glamorous and promising. She was already looking into their future together until last week when he called her to come here.

She stared around the room. There was nothing in the room except the bed he torment her in, a dim light bulb and  the chair she was sitting on.

“I hope you are enjoying this?” he asked and laughed evilly.

Emelda spat at him. He took her hair in his hand and shook it murderously. “If only you can tell your friends but i won’t give you that chance” he paused and gazed into space. “You all are going to pay dearly for what you did to me years back.

Emelda stared at him awestruck.

“Don’t give me that look”, he mused. “You can’t tell me that you don’t remember me. Off course not especially not the face but the voice”

Emelda froze a she scrutinized him. she was still trying to figure out the face when she felt something heavy and hard split her skull into two. Blood oozed out form her head and spilled down to her bare breast. She was sure it was her last. There was no way she was going to make it. If only she could tell Philo, Juicy and Anabel. If only there is a way she could apologize to them all especially Philo even if its not worth it. Just as she began to feel muzzy, she heard his sinister laughter splitting her ear drum.He was still standing there, waiting for her, watching her. She fought to catch her breath, she fought for her, she tried to keep her eyes open but her vision blurred.

she heard him laughing and saying something but she couldn’t make out the meanings. She thought she heard him say something like One down, three to go, then Abruptly she passed on, collapsing on the weight of the rope tied around her.

5 thoughts on “Carnage of the Vindictive 1” by sarahchristy21 (@sarahchristy21)

  1. The idea of this story was cool but a little patience and detail could have made it come out better. I think it was sort of rushed, leaving out juicy details, unless if there’s a sequel. For instance, what relationship did Philo, Anabel, and have with the bulky man? Also, the plotting could be better, the way the characters were introduced in the story was rather abrupt.
    Finally, watch out for tense mix-ups and spelling errors.

  2. First, I like the title.

    Then there were errors. For instance; ‘If she wasn’t (been) being raped…’

    Your story lacks details. Put in more.

    Well done.

  3. Premise good. Delivery bad. More effort and you’re there. Thumbs up!

  4. Lovely title..
    Can’t wait 4 d next. Perhaps roles have been reversed and the four raped him…hehehe…
    You ll get to be better sarah…Keep writing. Well done…$ß.

  5. When you are calm, go back and edit this.
    It would be great.

Leave a Reply