Anayo Chukwu was in a good mood. He was smiling contentedly as he drove away from the pharmacy. He looked at the packet on the seat beside him, and smiled again. Today, he would get maximum value for his money. He hummed along to the music of Oliver De Coque wafting from the speakers in his dark blue Honda Cr-V as he swung off Adeniyi Jones Avenue to Olowu Street. As he spotted the ladies standing by the roadside, he slowed the SUV down and lowered the window, looking for the girl who had promised him she would be there. The ladies, dressed in various clothes that showed off their assets, approached as he rolled slowly.
‘Oga, how far na?
‘See me here, bros. offers rolled in from scantily clad females who flanked the road, in costumes that left little to be imagined.
He did not stop the vehicle, but kept rolling slowly, eyeing the ample flesh on display. He knew from experience that one did not just pick any girl. He had fantasies for tonight.
As he rolled on, his spirits sinking with every meter covered, he wondered what could possibly keep her from showing up as they had agreed.
Just then, he sighted her. Tall, nice legs. She had nice, rounded buttocks that the leggings she wore so artfully did nothing to conceal. Anayo felt a tingle in his jeans as he exited the car and leaned against it.
How much for a night?
‘Fifteen thousand naira.’
‘You won’t take ten?’
‘No, fifteen thousand oh’
‘Ok, let me give you twelve,’
‘Na whole night you de talk oh’, she protested.
‘Ok, make we go.’ She walked around to the other door and got in.
As he gunned the engine and drove, he stole a glance at her. In profile, hands clasped primly together in her laps, she was exquisite. The tingle in his trousers slowly built up to a throb.
I’m Anayo, by the way.
Wow, Happiness, you’re going to make one guy very happy this night, he said, as he steered into Toyin Street. She blushed primly, and replied, make me happy, I’ll make you happy. Ikeja was a nice place, conveniently far from his bachelor pad on the Island, he reflected as he pulled into a hotel and shut off the engine.
Shall we? She nodded. Let’s get this show on the road then. They emerged from the car and he locked it as they entered the reception.
How much for a room per night?
‘Ten thousand Naira’.
He drew a fat, bulging billfold from his back pocket, and counted out ten thousand-naira notes, as the clerk slid a key across the counter to him. Send up a roast chicken, and some wine, he said, as he slid more notes from the billfold. As they headed up the staircase, he feasted his eyes on her rear end, and patted the little packet in his pocket as the throbbing in his jeans increased in tempo. The girl pulled out her phone, and checked the screen. He fingered the packets in his pocket and wondered if the effect of one packet would make him need more of the condoms in the second packet. He whistled a tune he had heard somewhere whose name he could not quite remember, and rubbed his hands in anticipation.
On her part, the girl watched the movements of the man as he moved along the corridor, noting the length of his legs, the grace in his walk, his fingers…. Yes, she chose wisely. It only remained to see if………
The lights suddenly went out. The night clerk at the reception swore viciously, cursing the power company for charging exorbitant rates and lousy service delivery. He groped on the wall behind him, fingers feeling on the key rack for the keys to the generator house. He pulled out his phone, and pressed a few buttons. In the dim light of the phone’s screen, he located the ring ofkeys he sought, and headed through the service exit leading to the back of the hotel where the generator house was located. On his way he unplugged a rechargeable lantern hanging on the wall, and headed out. Lightning flashed across the sky, and thunder boomed across the heavens. Looking up at the inky darkness, he wondered whether it was going to rain.
‘’Anayo’’ was having the most intense orgasm of his life. The sensations swept through him like a tidal wave, obliterating everything in its path ,and focusing his entire consciousness on the moaning, sweaty lady astride him, and as he bucked and thrashed, heaving and huffing, a pleasure like nothing he had ever felt built up inside him as he jerked and spurted and spurted, till it felt as if his very essence would depart his body through his loins. As he lay panting, sweaty and exhausted, he told himself that if this girl was this magnificent, then he just had to get her for himself. To hell with all that crap about not building relationships on sexual chemistry, he thought. All those guys never had it this good, they’d have had a change of heart for sure. As he drifted off to sleep, he reflected on the aptness of the French expression for an orgasm, le petit mort, or the little death. He certainly felt reborn.
Just as he inserted the key into the padlock of the small outhouse that protected the power generating plant, the lightning flashed once more across the sky, and the lights came on. Hissing angrily, he retired into the lobby, casting plagues and pestilences on the power companies.
He stirred and smiled, remembering the previous evening and its climactic experience. As he opened his eyes, he felt heaviness in his eyelids, and, lifting a hand to his eyes to rub them, he was startled to discover long, red painted fingernails on his hand.
As he pushed aside the bedclothes and sat up, the sheet fell to his waist, and he gasped in confusion at the sight of the breasts on his chest. With a curse, he bounded off the empty bed, stopping short at the sight of the figure in the mirror.
Weave-on hair extensions, nice, pencil drawn eyebrows, fixed lashes, traces of makeup (where not rubbed out or smudged),lighter strips of skin on the shoulders left by bra straps, on his chest, two rather nice, firm breasts, beneath which a trim, flat stomach suggested a healthy diet, lots of exercise, or both, the belly button, a tiny depression in the otherwise flat landscape, and further down, where the legs met the trunk……… hair, neatly trimmed, at the…….
Oh God, he was a woman.
He raised his hand to his cheek and pinched himself, believing it to be a dream. Wincing slightly and turning away, he (she) saw a note on the bedside table. Slowly, he (she) walked round the bed and picked it up.
My dear Mr. Ifedioha (I got your real name),
I am aware you must be feeling very awkward right about now, stuck in your new body. It is only natural, and will fade as you get used to it. My name is, or should I say was, Belinda Ogbeide, and I’m twenty four. For a very long time, I have wondered what it would be like to be a man, to grow a beard, be able to urinate while standing upright, to penetrate a woman….. the list is endless. It’s a man’s world, they say, and I wanted in. I confess I’ve been following you around, and this tryst was fixed for the one night in the year when the constellations permit us to effect a switch. We are a lot alike, same birthday, same star signs. As of now, we have been ‘swapped’, I believe that is the term. I am holed up somewhere, getting used to my new body, and I would advise that you do so too. I have taken the liberty of removing your phone, and your diary. Please do not try to find me, as it will be an exercise in futility. However, as a former occupier of the corpus you now inhabit, I feel obliged to inform you that your period is due in about three days, so going out to get pads may not exactly be a bad idea. Women are stronger, more resilient, and more adaptable than most people think, so I’m guessing you’ll do just fine. Have Fun!
Okey Ifedioha, as I must now call myself.
P. S: there is fifteen thousand naira, along with some other documents inside YOUR handbag, which is in the drawer. It was after all, paid by the man for sex with the lady, so I guess you can keep it.