Jun 012012
Her birthdays come the same
Saying bye to Aprilis, or say April
And welcome as to May.
Anyways, just around that border.
I could sing for her on my piano
A straight-through symphony
From a love-bound heart.
Or tell her a story
Reading from my rich depths.
She asks not for anymore,
True love satiates her
Drenches her in its sanctity
Brightens her so uncommon
In her selfless self.
But, today’s different
It’s not her birthday, nor a day of note.
And she asks for a more than any usual
“A Purple Perfume”
And I’m left here at why?
“A purple perfume?”
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Comments
Anyi @charles
Words make the invisible, visible. I create poetically.........Go to Anyi's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
Simple. Cool.
Nice one.
Nice simple poem.
But I have some suggestions as regards the last verse:
//It’s not her birthday, nor a day of note//. Since you used NOR, I think it should be rewritten as “…nor ANY day of note” since her birthday is also a day of note. But then I am not sure if, from the poem, her birthday is something she doesn’t care about; if so than the line is ok.
//And she asks for a more than any usual//. Do you think it is appropriate to have an A between ‘for’ and ‘more’. Why not //And she asks for more than any usual//
Keep improving your art man. There is no end to learning.
Nice one man. I ditto chemokopi. Keep improving your art.
Purple perfume? I am wondering why too…
Please keep improving…$ß.
Nice.
Just buy the perfume? Or you want us to buy it for you?
Everything is a poem on NS.
Lol
Everything in that writing was pure imaginary art Mr. Kaycee
I don’t, u don’t need to buy…
……everything is not poem, esp. in NS…… Pls help me categorise this piece bro….
She’s asking for something extraordinary on an ‘ordinary’ day? Aww!
Get it for her naaw if you can.
Nice poem.
thnx Eletrika…..i go try
@Seun-Odukoya….many thanks
@chemokopi….u’re a great friend. I go with your first,….the 2nd,….’a’ is appropriate being definitive or say specific….
I am a work in progress…
@lancaster, @sibbylwhyte, @francis….thanks y’all