My father was absent for most of my life, present physically but absent in spirit and soul.
My mother never had a husband though she married and had a child for a man.
That man called me a bastard, said I would amount to nothing and I almost believed him.
He stole my innocence, my confidence, my identity.
Scared out of my wits, I built a wall to protect myself.
The world saw as strength my biggest weakness.
But a taste of real LOVE brought that wall to the ground; revealing a hurt, broken and insecure child.
LOVE made me whole and said to me “Forgive your father, pray for your father”.
Today I have a father and I am my father’s flavour, sunshine and hope.
In all this I realized; you cannot give what you do not have.
My father was unaware of fatherhood so he could not be a father.
He gave me what he had and was – a hurt, broken and insecure child.
His absence produced a vulnerable wife, a lost child and a defenseless family.
Though our journey to restoration and recovery just begins,
We probably would have arrived if my father was present.