Diary of a Stupid Boyfriend: Women and Money

Women and Money

The other day I wanted to play a trick. And I made the wrong move, I asked a crucial question and my girlfriend probably gave me the right answers. I wanted to know why a man without money has no future with a Nigerian woman. After thinking carefully, amongst other things she said was a question; are you broke? ‘No, I am not. I am only asking just to satisfy curiosity.’ Other replies cannot be printed here for the purpose of peace and other related experiences.

I am certain the people of old led a more adventurous life. Imagine a woman who does not make her hair, she cares not about her nails. She does not care if you have an ATM or if such exists. She treks to wherever she wanted. And if she was thirsty she would go to the earthen clay pot and scoop water. She does not request for Shawarma. She attends village meeting in the wrapper you had chopped off yours. Her tattoo comes from chalks. She is just satisfied. There is not request for a vacation in Paris. And if you guys were newly married she would prefer your hut for honeymoon not some ten stars hotels. Wow!

I think single but broke men should turn gay. No woman would find your bag of veins attractive. I know stories of men who had herds of women until they went broke. The ladies disappeared into thin air. Who no go run. Na mouth you want take buy her Mary Kay, or Brazilian hair? You cannot trace the footsteps of the displaced women even if you were a specialist in that field. Money speaks, and even louder it speaks in Nigeria.

Young men do a lot to stay alive in Nigeria. A young man could decide to wash cars. He does not mind. The bloody job pays his rent and sometimes pays for his part-time education. And a good lady would decide one day to subscribe for BIS with whatever earnings the idiot gets. What a living. But it is sweet. Women should be satisfied at all times. They are special and delicate. They must be treated with respect and less wisdom when it comes to resources. A man spends at most 500 hundred naira getting a hair cut which eventually lasts 2 weeks. A beautiful, society lady spends 150 thousand naira on her hair which could last for days, if she has a good heart oh, that means if her heart is purely yours, then it can be kept for a week. Such an awesome living!

Back to my girlfriend, when I wish to grab a piece of what makes a man a pervert I employ all measures of loyalty. You can never tell how humble a man is until you see him without a shirt and dross on a cold night, in the bedroom with a woman; wife or girlfriend. Men are such pathetic fellows. We would not live longer because we do not try to respect and cherish these women. I make sure I have all things done. I do not make my girlfriend sad. I appease her like our elders to the deities. But is not life more enjoyable when free of relationship crisis?

Nigerian women are good. They make us work harder; they deserve Oscars for their major roles in our miserable life stories. These women strengthen us through very deplorable states. When there is no electricity they still light up our world with a sense of responsibility. Adore them and empty that account to make them appear most alluring. Life is too short to stay smart.

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