An Evening by the River Side

At the river bank I sat, once in a naija neighborhood
On a cool evening, when the sun was near its home
Gazing at the flowing waters.
With an admiration that flooded my being with serenity
Lost in this nature’s wonder
As filtered air calmed the nerves of my hairs.

How blue the waters were
As the fading sun glowed over the deeps
With starry colors near that of a rainbow.
Then out of a sudden, a fish popped up the waters
To take in a floating straw of grain.
Oh! A flock of birds just flew by, each with a straw.

And my evening Fish got a gift
From a bird that attempted a tingling whistle
Soon, all the Birds were up on a tree by their nests.
And their whistling formed a beautiful melody
For the sharr-sharr-sharring harmony of the flowing waters
Yes, indeed my heart was naturalized.

My eyes were out in the air
Searching for the tree that hosted my evening birds
And soon, this search was distorted.
Two squealing squirrels appeared
Enjoying the fun of an evening chase on a palm tree
For in their moves was no fear of a hunter.

Not too long, a palm fruit dropped
Just a little walk to pick up the palm fruit;
I wanted to throw it over the waters and watch another fish jump up.
But behold, at my targeted place
A cracking cricket: Out of a hole it came,
Perhaps for an evening breeze.

Gazing with great zeal
A Puppy walked by in search of my evening cricket
That just retired to its home.
And since its prey was out of gaze
It took a gentle but hopeful walk away
I wondered where it came from and followed it some steps away.

Soon, it rested at the foot of a tree, gazing mildly
And I stretched my hands for a little play with it
Hei! A voice from the top of the tree;
It was a wine tapper declimbing with a Calabash
“Bingo is mine!” he said
“It’s so innocent” I retorted and watched it go with its owner.

Back to the River bank
Walking through the green grasses
I saw a dimming light at a distant far.
Ah!, Darkness has fallen
When the light was close, it was a Man canoeing
He is a night Fisherman pedaling towards his net.

The Birds were now silent
My Squirrels asleep, gone, Bingo’s Cricket made no sound
Even chants of the flowing waters offered some quiet.
The Magnum Silencium reminded me of a sleep in Bed
And when I turned to depart from this nature’s home
I wished a bed was close by.



16 thoughts on “An Evening by the River Side” by Jo (@josephoguche)

  1. Nice one….The love for nature..what it does to one….
    Recheck your tenses…
    Well done Joe…$ß.

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Thanks Dear … will sure do ….

  2. yea definitely the tenses, for example;

    “As the fading sun glows(glowed) over the deeps”
    “Then out (the ‘out’ can be removed) of a sudden, a fish popped up (up from/out of) the waters”
    “my heart was naturalized” – what does this mean?
    “My eyes were out in the air” – this kinda sounded funny too, it culda been “my face looked up to the sky(or something like that)”

    It reads like you wrote this just the way it came to you, but it would be better if you re-read this and write it for us to also tap into what you may have felt writing this.

    Nice attempt though, and all the best!

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Good job going through that … will have it corrected … ‘ Maraming Salamat po’ as we say it in the Philippines …

  3. Hmmm…. Nature and it’s beauty. Nice one @josephoguche. Welldone.

    With people like @teewah here, NS is a good place to learn to get better. Take to corrections and you will be better

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Yea am happy learning .. ‘Salamat po’ as we say it in the Philippines …

  4. Some of the lines felt forced to me. Check Ur tenses, like they said.

    How blue the waters were
    As the fading sun glows over the deeps[deep]
    With starry colors near that of a rainbow.
    Then out of a sudden [all of a sudden/ suddenly], a fish popped up [from] the waters
    To take in a floating straw of grain[?].
    Oh! A flock of birds just flew by, each with a straw.

    Try not to over-describe.

    Good luck.

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      All well said .. ‘Salamat po’ as we say it in the Philippines …

  5. I love the imagery this poem evokes. Well done.

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      I appreciate quite sincerely @obiaguomba …. Thanks guy!

  6. great craftmanship well done bro keep writing

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Thanks a lot @mikeeffa … truly appreciate … !

  7. All corrections echoed – nice one.

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Yea … the corrections are making it better … thanks man ….!

  8. I still like the poem, even with all the small errors.
    Nice one.

    1. Jo (@josephoguche)

      Thanks …

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