Unfinished Business

Under-G paroles!

It was late into the friday afternoon already. I sat by myself in the over spacious cafteria sipping on a bottle of malt, the only means I had to vent my anger. I had been angry and out of sorts with myself since the night before, for reasons I couldn’t think of.
I am a moody person by nature, alright! But this is the longest mood swing I have ever had, and that’s the cause of my worry. . .
I let my mind wander about, as I sipped on my drink, while staring aimlessly around. . .
I saw people of different sorts, engaged in a somewhat romantic, or rather too friendly conversation. Everyone seemed to be in love, except me. .
All of a sudden, I began to wish I had a best friend, or maybe a lover?
I want to feel the way lovers feel,
I want to experience that glee that fills their eyes with so much beauty,
I wanna be held, caressed, taken care of and loved.
I wanna be kissed deeply, by someone madly in love with me. .
I want someone to worry about me, someone to make my happiness his priority. .
I want. . .

‘Vera?’

Out of shock, I turned around rather too fast, to face a standing Marvin.

‘Oh Marvin, hi. Its been a while.’ I responded, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

He took a seat beside me, and studied my face for some minutes before speaking again.
‘What’s wrong?’

I looked at him with so much admiration, then resumed my thoughts.
I want. . . . Marvin; I always have!
Marvin was a 20 year old, 400l student in my university; my former best friend, boyfriend to my best girlfriend Olisa, and sadly, the only guy I’ve been wanting since I set my eyes on him.
He was 5ft 9 inches tall, well built, sexy ‘my- kind- of- man handsome’, and very very good with words. He had brownish eyeballs that fitted beautifully into his cat eyes, small pink lips that made you wish to be kissed, cute short nails, fine hair. . .

‘Vera. . . . Vera, are you okay?’

‘Omg, Sorry Marvin. I’m just a bit disturbed, that’s all. .’

‘Is it something you’d like to share?’

‘Oh no. . .’ I smiled sheepishly, ‘I won’t wanna bother you with my thoughts. . .’

‘No you. . .’

‘Hey hunnays!!’ Olisa cut in, walking in on both of us. She gave me a tight hug, and a wink before turning to face Marvin. I knew what that wink meant- Alhaji had called her to come over for the package.

‘My love, I’ve been searching all around for you!’ Marvin said, standing up to give her a slight peck on her cheeks. I felt jealous. Marvin should be mine, after all, I met him first! Damn Olisa, damn it all!
‘By the way, where are you off to?’ He questioned looking at her rather too ceremonious dressing.

‘Honey bun, ‘m on my way home. I received an urgent call from my mum this morning regarding my baby sister. . .’

‘Aw dear, what’s wrong again?’

‘She has malaria and typhoid, and. . . . I don’t just know!’ She hissed off pitifully.

I shook my head in utter disgust as she expertly told big fat lies which Marvin stupidly believed.

‘It’s alright love, it’s alright. . .’ Marvin said holding her close to his chest for a while. ‘You should be on your way now dear. Do you have some money with you?’

I could see the excitement that filled her eyes, the instant he asked that question. Immediately he let her go, she replaced her smile with the sad look she wore before, as she pretended to sniff. .

‘I. . . I don’t but don’t worry love, I’d find a way out. Just let me go. . .’ She made to leave as she knew he was going to call her back.

‘Common babe, have this. .’
My eyes buldged at the sight of the amount he wrapped in his big hands, . . .

‘My love, 20thousand is too much. . . No, keep it.’

‘Take it Lis, I don’t want you troubling mama again. . .’

She seemed to collect the money reluctantly, but I knew she was beyond excited.

‘Thanks love.’

‘It’s nothing. Let me see you off to the gate. .’

‘No, no. . . Debby promised to drop me off and she’s waiting for me, so I have to run. . . Thanks once again love! I’d call you when I get home. Bye Vera, bye Marvin!!’
She hurried off before either of us could even say a word. I saw the sadness in his eyes, and that alone horrified me and worsened my mood. Why can’t I get as lucky as Olisa?

‘So, I guess its just the two of us left. . .’ He said breaking through my sad thoughts.

‘Yeah. . .’ I said with a forced smile.

‘Let’s take a walk.’

‘Sure!’

We strolled a couple of miles for a while, before settling on a gossip seat somewhere under a tree.

‘So what were you going to tell me? What’s the cause of your worry?’

I wanted to tell him about my love for him, how I really wanted to kiss him, how Olisa was simply using him . . . I wanted to tell him everything! That she was going to Alhaji Musas house, that her baby sister wasn’t sick, that she didn’t even have a baby sister to start with!! . . .,

‘Vera, talk to me. . .’

‘It’s . . . It’s . . .’

‘It’s who, . . What??’

‘Olisa!’ I finally blurted out.

‘What about her?’

‘She. . . I. . . . Her baby sister. . . She, . .’

‘Oh that, I know. I know how you feel about that dear. . .’

‘You do?!’ I questioned surprisingly.

‘Yes. . . .’ He smiled. ‘You’re such a good friend Vera, I feel for her baby sister as much as you do and I’m worried about her just like you. Let’s just keep praying for her. . . Thanks love. We appreciate your care.’

Damn it!! He just didn’t get it! No wonder he was smiling.
I shook my head. There’s just no way of making him understand.

‘I’ve missed you.’ I heard him say.
I suddenly felt a tear fall off my eyes. After 2 years, he finally realised how much we’ve drifted apart.

‘I’ve missed you too Marv.’

‘And I’ve missed our friendship.’

I smiled. ‘So you remember?’

‘Of course! 15 years of friendship is no joke.’

‘Yeah. . . But you’ve been so busy for 2 years to even say hello.’

‘It’s not that dear, it’s just. . .’

‘Olisa?. . .’

He blushed.
‘Well. . . . Yes. . .’

I smiled again. If only you would let me show you what love is!

‘Marvin, . . .’

‘Yes dear?’

‘What does a kiss feel like?’

He looked at me in wonderment.
‘A kiss?’

I nodded my head in affirmation. It was a question I had been harbouring in my mind since forever.

‘Well. . . ‘ He began, clearly unsure of where to start from. ‘It usually starts slow, then it gets deep, fierce, . . . ‘

I tried to imagine it all in my head, I could feel my stomach churning in naked desire. . .

‘Wait a minute!’ He said, interrupting the picture I was forming in my head.

‘What?’

‘Your boyfriend has never kissed you?’

‘No. . .’

‘Why?! He must be such an arse! How come?. .’

I saw him look at my lips as I tried to speak. .

‘Well, I actually don’t. . . . I mean, I haven’t. . .’

Then he kissed me. . .
It started slow like he said, then he reached closer for more. . . . And the rest, was history. . .



41 thoughts on “Unfinished Business” by Me (@dr2103)

  1. Hehehe…I hope she gets what she wants..But of course, there might be some hell to pay.
    This story is still ‘Unfinished business’ yeah?..Waiting for the next.
    Well done Dr Love…$ß

    1. @sibbylwhyte hehehhe! Thanks ma!

  2. Okay.

    The beginning faltered a little bit – there was some tense confusion and then that part that read like poetry suddenly – but then you gathered the loose pieces and tied them together splendidly. The ending is tight.

    Looking forward to the next part. Good job.

    1. @Seun-Odukoya thanks. Coming from you, I’m sure this is an ‘okay’ read. Will try working on my tense problem. :)

  3. Err, am I the only one who thinks that this piece is chock-full of melodrama and pure unrealistic fantasy????? It was almost painful to read…. He gave her 20,000 naira cos she’s going home to see her sister? Just like that? That felt so Nollywood….

    Well, for people who like stuff like this I guess….

    1. Waoh, thanks a bunch, I appreciate. Apparently, you seem to be the only one FOR NOW. Almost painful to read? Waoh! ‘M so glad you survived through it.
      Don’t worry, next time, I’d consider some Hollywood or Bollywood plots; perharps you’d love that.
      Gracias. :)

    2. thought I might be d only one who noticed that….for a 20yr old 400l Student?!

  4. RIO (@riowrites)

    I cant wait to find out how this ends. Looking forward to the next part. Well done.

    1. @riowrites me too! Thanks for reading. :)

  5. @dr2103, I liked that the MC that Olisa is undeserving of Marvin’s love – that adds a special flavour to her unrequited love, and sets the story up for some interesting happenings.

    I don’t think it’s unreasonable to give someone you love N20k if you have it available; however, I’m not so sure about the scene where Marvin kissing the MC. From the way you’ve built his character, he doesn’t seem like the kind of person to cheat on his girlfriend.

    Looking forward to part 2 (if there is a part 2).

    1. I meant, “I liked that the MC feels that Olisa is undeserving…”

    2. @TolaO thanks for reading, and commenting.

      Please, does the word ‘MC’ have a full meaning? I get the fact that it is a term used to refer to the main character of a story, but I just wanna know what it really stands for; that’s if you don’t mind telling. . :)

      1. @dr2103, you said it already. :)

        Main Character.

        (I first heard about it on NS, too.)

        1. @TolaO oh oh! So I knew the answer before sef?! Haha.

          Thanks a bunch. I’ve been wanting to ask this question for DAYS!

  6. OH MYYY DAYSSS…this so describes me,I mean Vera oh

    1. @gretel waoh! For real? Glad to meet a ‘VERA- LIKE’ sumborri! Hehehe. Oya come and inspire me to write part two na. :D

      1. lol…..will be glad to.

  7. I like the story, and your telling too.

    Well done.

    1. @babyada Thanks. I’m glad you do. :)

  8. Me want to know what was history o.
    What was that rest that was history?

    1. @kaycee haha. ‘M still waiting on Vera to let the cat outta the bag o. Me sef wan know! :D

  9. Nice story. But like Tola pointed out, there seems to be some character conflict from your male character, maybe if you had let us a bit into his mind, it would have solved some issue. Apart from that, it’s a nice read and will like to read the next…
    And what’s with this your incessant and inconsistent ellipses?

    1. Thanks @francis. I hope to do justice to the seeming character conflict, if ever this ‘business’ gets finished. :D

      Incessant and inconsistent ellipses? I think ‘m lost.


  10. ‘What?’

    ‘Your boyfriend has never kissed you? ”

    That cracked me up…lol ! The guy is kind of naive, in a way.

    I enjoyed the story. Very simple. Though there are a lot of stories similar to this , your descriptions, structure and simplicity made me want to still read it anyways. The way you presented your dialogue was simple. Made it easy to read.

    I just had a problem with the end. The kiss was too quick. I know you wanted to bring some sort of closure to the story, but sometimes, stories are better when they are left open-ended.

    Overall , well done Doc :)

    1. @aghoghosam hehehe. Thanks for reading anyways :D

  11. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    Nice work, a few issues though(purely constructive). The way you used mood swing in the text is not very accurate. Perhaps you wanted to say bout of depression? Also the very last phrase made me want to hit something. How could you? End such a nicely naughty story with the rest is history? Lines like…and suddenly i wasnt moody aymore or… warmth engulfed me in a way i never felt before… any thing but such a cliche! Please!

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      but keep writting and be a little patient with your work

      1. @nicolebassey I sure will. Thanks:)

  12. A good attempt at a campus love story.

    However, I don’t think its realistic enough. You don’t come across situations where a student gives his girlfriend 20k just like that from his pocket. Also the story felt predictable…maybe its because I always want to be carried along wondering how it will end but in this case I knew how it would end before it ended. Maybe a distraction or twist would have made the difference.

    I’m sure if you re-wrote it again, you’d make it perfect because its obvious you’re good in building a romantic scenario.

    well done.

    1. @Afronuts thanks. Maybe I’d waoh you some other time! ;)

  13. Great job! Somewhere you used fitted instead of fit.

    1. @shewhoisloved I wish he didn’t too; but guess what? He did! *sigh!* lol. Thanks for reading. :)

  14. i certainly wished he didnt kiss her yet, but i like the story. Well done.

  15. All this kiss kiss. No b small tin oo.

  16. Can’t wait for the next feed doc, this was kool.

  17. hhmmm….this was good. Goes to show that it’s really hard for a guy n girl to be just friends for so long without feelings coming in between.

    1. @lynda thanks. ‘M glad you got the drift.

  18. Factly speaking, I think the story was kinda conflicting between present and past. Twasn’t vewi clear. ‘Near perfect’ work. Waiting 4 the next part.

    1. Right! Thanks. :)

  19. All in all, it is nice…but I got issues with d 20k and d age of Marvin….20 Yrs! Shey na naija university?

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