Demo-Crazy and MAULings

Demo-Crazy and MAULings

This was written by my Editor Hassan Abdul and I reworked it and decided to share it here…. Its just a fun piece.

Act 1, scene 1: (In a crucial strategy meeting…)

Place: Eye-so villa

Dateline: May 2012

[The big masquerade has thrown a question ‘How to worm our way into the hearts of the SW?” and all the members of the village cabinet have been thinking for hours.]

Chief Mutuwa Dole suddenly jumps up and screams “Eureka!”

“What is it,” Big masquerade asks.

“We can name their greatest institution after their greatest hero! That way, they will stop being antagonistic towards us. Hakika, If we show them that we respect these great feats of their people, they will become more accommodating of us,” Mutuwa Dole told the group.

Slowly a general murmur of approval begins to travel around the group.

“Brilliant idea, Mutuwa Dole. I have always known that you ‘nurshure’ great ideas inside that banban riga you always wear.

“We will keep it a secret and present it on demo-crazy day,” big masquerade decreed.

Act 1, scene 2
(Hours after the re-christening of MAU MAU…)
Place: Eye-so villa

[The big masquerade is pacing around his table, miffed and has thrown a question to the village cabinet again.]

“Why didn’t they buy our master stroke? It was such a good plan”

1st kitchen member: Leave dem jare. Na mumu dey worry dem.

2nd kitchen member: They were calling it a Greek gift. Another person said is a Trojan horse.

“I don’t understand,” Big Masquerade queries the last speaker. “Did we give them anything from Greece? I even heard that the Greeks don’t even have money again. And Trojan horse? Is that not what one of these our engineers say chopped our network and files in the computer room the other day? These people are truly mumu.

3rd Kitchen member: Some even said the name reminds them of the wicked Mau Mau of kenya that drove out the white colonialists. Maybe they are afraid the juju of the Mau Mau will enter them sir.”

4th kitchen member: Some of those jobless Facebook  people are saying that Renaming is not the same thing as Transformation.

5th kitchen member: “Sir, you are thinking too much about this thing. Before evening they will facebook and twitter till they are tired. By tomorrow another story of somebody stealing billions will make them forget this one. na today? Rue, no even worry yourself with statement!”

[Fela stands off stage, chanting ‘demo-crazy…demonstration of craze….’ slowly till fade…]

Democrazy
DEMO-CRAZY (*after each line)
Crazy demo
Demonstration of craze
Crazy demonstration
If it no be craze
Why for Afrika?
As time dey go
Things just dey bad
They bad more and more
Poor man dey cry
Rich man dey mess
Demo-crazy
Democrazy
Crazy demo
Demonstration of craze
Crazy demonstration

If good-u teacher teach-ee something
And student make mistake
Teacher must talk-ee so
But Oyinbo no talk-ee so
I suffer dem, Dey suffer dem
Dem dey say da teaching get meaning
Different different meaning
Different different kinds of meaning
That is why I say
That is the reason of my song

That is the conclude
The conclud-ee of my song

I say, I sing, I beg everyone to join my song (3x)

———————

TEACHER, TEACHER-O NA THE LECTURER BE YOUR NAME
TEACHER, TEACHER-O NA THE LECTURE BE THE SAME
MAKE-EE NO TEACH-EE ME AGAIN OH
AS SOON TEACHING FINISH YES, DA THING-EE IT GON DIE IT DEY-O
AS SOON TEACHING FINISH YES, DA THING-EE IT GON DIE IT DEY-O

ME AND YOU NO DEY FOR THE SAME-U CATEGORY
NA THE SAME CATEGORY-O

———————

Ke-re-Ke, Ke-re-Ke, Ke-re-Ke, Ke-re-Ke, Ke-re-ke, Ke-re-Ji-Ke-Ke
YAA!
Ke-re-ke Ji Ke-ke
YAA!
Ke-re-ke Ji Ke-ke
YAA!
Ke-re-ke-Ke Ji Ke-ke
YAA!

This lyrics were gotten from LyricsMania



19 thoughts on “Demo-Crazy and MAULings” by Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay)

  1. I wish I could laugh.

    I don’t know what saddens me more; the obvious ignorance displayed on the part of those guys (reducing JAMB cut-off instead of raising the standard; saying it’s constitutional that the president has a quota of ‘amens’ he can say in public, renaming UNILAG; for what purpose exactly?); or the people complaining that people are making too much a big deal out of this. They say ‘what’s in a name’.

    What’s in a name?

    May they not find out the worst way.

    1. @seun-odukoya, my brother…hmmm…its all a mess o. Everything in Nigeria is just messed up, especially the guy on top.

  2. Our president is really an embarrassment.

    1. no mind d bobo, no other thing to do but to rename our great school, no worry, akokites go show am, shebi we dey ause nw….

  3. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    LAUGHING IN SWAHILI!!!!LOL

    1. Laughing in Chinese!!!! lol

  4. A satirical piece that I gbadun…What’s the point of renaming when they haven’t reformed, transformed the system..
    Who knows what else they would rename after this…

    Well done xikay, would have liked to see the piece from which this came…$ß..May the ink keep flowìng.

    1. @sibbylwhyte the original piece is actually not much different

  5. Nice piece u’ve gat here. Enjoyed it. Funny.

  6. Hehehehe. But this isn’t a laughing matter oh, but then, what can we do?

    1. @lancaster I cant agree more…we can Maul them in the next polls

  7. The man there is just clueless.

  8. you really brought out the message though very sad – but all the same nice write up i wish and hope our rulers will be sensible

  9. Ha a good laugh over this piece and then got angry afterwards over the real issue.

    But still I enjoyed this no doubt…Well Done!

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