This Blackberry Madness

This Blackberry Madness

I will start this madness with an apology to my readers-an apology for writing this article late, and at a time when any serious mind should be occupied with issues of more important dimensions. As they say when there is nothing to say, it is due to circumstances beyond my control. By the way, I can authoritatively tell anyone who cares to know that I am a late comer par excellence. For instance, I got admitted into the university through the short fall admission list, which, as you all know, is for those who fall short of the merit or supplementary list. Expectedly, I got myself into the habit of always going to lectures late. But I made up for this deficit by leaving the class early.
There is a brand of madness in town, not quite new. It is the blackberry madness. Millions of Nigerians youths are caught in this web of voluntary madness, bereft of the usual paraphernalia that accompany such pastimes. I am informed that the female population constitutes a greater percentage of these millions. You may be wondering what my business is with all these. I am a lover of technology and am therefore fascinated by the fact that a technology-induced madness is afflicting the future of my dear country, which is not unexpected, considering the obvious fact that Nigeria is a heavy consumer of western technology products. But what I find interesting, maybe weird, is that I am a spectator in a game that I should be the most valuable player.
Now, how do I explain seeing a girl, heavily endowed with beauty, on the back of a commercial motor-bike (okada is what we call it), pinging her way to lectures. This friend of ours is engrossed in her blackberry,  pinging, that she does not know when the okada man turns off his ignition. The okada man, a not-too-patient old man is angered that a girl too young to be his fifth child is wasting his time, and his chance of making more turns before he retires for the day. So, he turns his ignition on and speeds away with our friend. Our friend is jerked back to the consciousness of her location and begins to shout at the okada man to let her get off the bike.
‘Are you mad’? She asks the okada man, in a raised voice that made a mess of her attempt to be phonetically relevant, making her pronounce ‘mad’ like ‘made’. The okada man stops, visibly enraged by the embarrassment. He makes a feeble attempt at gripping our friend who by now has alighted from the bike. Our friend resists firmly. It is obvious that a scene is about to be created, and that people around are going to be entertained by the unfolding drama. But the situation is quickly brought under control by some good Samaritans who quickly resolved the matter.
‘I thought you were not going to come down.’ The okada man is telling our friend, ‘you good-for-nothing daughter of  good-for-nothing parents’. He wastes no time in collecting his fare and then, as being alerted by an internal alarm, drives away furiously, almost knocking down another female friend of ours, who is communing with her blackberry.
Before the ladies call for my head on a platter made of wood, let me quickly say that the above scenes also may apply to the guys, even though I am yet to see any guy pinging on a bike. But that does not mean they don’t do it…don’t get me wrong. Okay?
Let’s get back to our friend before she gets out of sight. Our friend (please pardon the over-use) ignores the people around, and perhaps the incident, and makes her way towards a hall close to the site of incidence. It turns out that she has lecture to attend, and like me, gets to the class late to meet a parked hall, overflowing with students, straining hard to hear the lecturer who was dictating notes from a notebook that was lying on the table before him. Our friend manages to get a seat at the back row, thanks to a male friend of hers who had reserved the seat for her. She mutters a half-hearted appreciation as she assumes the wooden seat that was fast losing its ability to carry a heavy weight. She sighs, as if protesting the low audio output of the lecturer or the many questions that her male benefactor was asking her. She dips her hand inside her hand-bag, carries out a quick search. Her hand emerges from the hand-bag, clinging unto her blackberry and earpiece. She connects the earpiece, first to the blackberry and then to her ears, calls up her music player, scrolls down her song list and the rest is history.
This blackberry madness is indeed driving me mad. It is not as if I have anything against blackberry, before people begin to think of me as a strange bedfellow who hates technology. I guess many people are already seeing me as such. For instance, I met a girl sometimes ago who all she needed me to do for her was  buy a blackberry for her, before we could become friends. I didn’t need to think twice before I zoomed off. It is not as if I can’t buy a blackberry for a girl, but I need to be able to buy one for myself before I can do that. Love your neighbour as yourself, that is what the holy book says, if I can still recall correctly those bible verses that my parents rammed down my mind almost on daily basis, those days.
I am not envious of people who are in love with the blackberry.  Even though I am not comfortable with the manner in which many Nigerian youngsters are swindling  chunks of money out of their parents, in order to meet up with their peers. Or the girls, and all the prices they pay in order to be able to have a blackberry pin to share. But I will not even be lured into talking about that. As a matter of fact, I have resolved not to do something crazy about getting blackberry…like frauding my dad or maybe, lying to my mother. The only problem I have now is that those of us who do not want to be part of this blackberry game are the ones considered crazy.

24 thoughts on “This Blackberry Madness” by ichadeygreet (@ichadgreat)

  1. I have expressly refused to get a BB. Facebook is enough wahala for me; with the number of friends I have on BB, focusing on other things will be a huge problem. Oh, by the way, BlackBerry will stop production of Consumer products; they will stick to Enterprise products instead. I think it will affect production of mobile phone units, definitely. To compete in the Smartphone market, they reduced the prices of their devices. Result? From posting over £220m profit for 2010, they posted about £74m loss for 2011. The co-founder has stepped down.

    1. I have a BB. But Luckily it has not taken me over so completely. I saw the Nollywood movie BlackBerry babes and it was just crazy.

  2. The things ‘We men’ do for the blackberry…Myne dat movie was d crazy truth…
    And its disadvantages outweigh its advantages 4 me…

  3. ‘Blackberry babes.’ that movie said it all.

  4. I use a BB and I will advice anyone who can to use it too.

    I pass my bus stops most times I took a BRT.

    I miss noticing fine girls on the way.

    I sometimes ping all day.

    But I still think BB is good.

    If any NS female wants to ping a little, inbox me your pin abeg.

    Nice article shah. I enjoyed it.

  5. My friends have stopped begging, coercing, and trying to blackmail me to get a BB. Nowadays, they just buy me one instead. To date, I’ve received four Blackberries as gifts. And each time I’ve duly just wrapped them back up and given them away to people that I know will actually use them.

    I get annoyed when my phone rings. How could I possibly cope with people pinging me every five minutes? I’d pull my hair out!!

    @ichadgreat, I hail o! Good to see I’m not alone in my ‘madness’.

    1. @obinwanne, i remain grateful….good to see we are in d same boat

  6. bb,blackberry,pinging….No thanks. Splendid article boss. You write well. Try your hands on humour/funny articles.

  7. ow! This is the first am reading from this dude and am already a fan. I like your writing style.
    About BB’s, I used to hate people doing the BB thing. But now, I drive one handed, use my BB in church, at work, in the bathroom…everywhere. But, I swear, I do not ping, my BB is strictly for browsing on the go.

    But, has anyone noticed the creativity displayed by Nigerians on BB?? That alone is why you all should get urselves one.

    1. @kaycee, thanks for finding this interesting….hope you find my next work interesting

  8. To add my own two cents, I do not have a BB and I am very proud of the fact.

    Apart from agreeing with you Oga @ichadgreat, I also loved the narrative in this. Great Stuff! Very interesting. That girl on the okada bit was hilarious. And I loved (LOVED!!!!) the expression ‘…in a raised voice that made a mess of her attempt to be phonetically relevant.’ Ha!

    There were a few typos and errors here and there and your paragraphing was jumbled, but I really like this. Good job.

  9. Before I had a BB, I survived. Quite well interestingly.

    When I had one, I viewed it as a tool and used it as such.

    Now that I no longer have one, I’m still doing quite fine.

    Bottom line: the BB is nothing but a machine and it should be treated as such.

    Interesting article.

  10. I love your write @ichagreat….it was an interesting read for me, even tho it luks like it was posted from a blackberry. LOL.

  11. nice article i love bb as much as i dislike the negative madness it has turned my fellow naija, its technology that come to stay,,today might be bb tomorrow might be something else humm lets get cribed of our self.

  12. Nice rant!
    I have seen men and women: on bikes, driving, at bus stops and even crossing the road, fiddling with their ‘berries.
    Dunno if they were pinging or not.
    I wondered then what they were thinking; I still wonder.
    It’s almost as though having a BB confers on one the right to be clueless with regards to life.
    Never was nor will ever be tripped by a ‘berry.

    I have had cause to tell somebodies to watch where they are going and not bump into me oh. lol All because of a ‘berry.
    Those things are not even attractive to me.

  13. BB is great on its own. The problem is with the users… some are just point-blank, stupid.
    @ichadgreat, this is a very well written article with very interesting and amusing instances.
    You should take note of some errors- mainly the wrong use of past tense when you are writing in the present.
    Very good piece, kudos!… erm, stop going late for lectures o!

    1. @chimzorom, thanks…i will try my best

  14. BB is good jor. You don’t need to have many contacts na. Just a few important ones and the rest is….. Well, in the trash can, lol.

    I don’t see anything special in it though. I think nokia makes the best phones but its still cool to own a bb if you can own one.

    And by the way, you sure say na bb dey drive all them girls crazy? It just might be 2go on a C3 or Eseries nokia phone…. Yea, 2go has that same effect.

  15. I dont have a bb, I dont intend to have one soon. I’m on facebook, 2go, eskimi, etc (check me on any social network with bbtagoro) and I’m always online everyday. Thanks to my c1 phone. So, what bb can do, I can do (only no ping)

    good work.

  16. Everything that has an advantage also has a disadvantage. No doubt, the improvement in technology has helped us to reach more people across the world with just one click of a button. This same blackberry too has led someone to his death by pinging his wife while driving. Having a blackberry is very good but the love of it is the beginning of CRAZE. For the girls who constantly beg for blackberry…too bad you have reduced your worth to just few pieces of paper.

    Nice article.

  17. BB madness, its not really about the hype for bb- its the Nigerian thing of everyone wanting to use the ‘reigning thing’, remember when GSM came out, everyone wanted a phone, its more of a status thing for some, which shouldnt be. Now everyone needs a phone but why pay for bis when you have no money to load credit on your phone, why struggle to buy the latest model of BB when your old one is still good, when you have no income but the shillings your ‘mugu’ tosses @ you. Good one!

  18. Thanks everyone for all the wonderful comments. I am profusely grateful

  19. @ichadgreat: Maybe you can do a write up on the effect of bb and the it’s competitor watsapp. i love this article, just came across it and It is great. Keep it up!

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