Am leaving no stone unturned?
I wasn’t born into the game
I came into the game
And people want to hear me blow
Am aren’t special and got not
The best flows
Cos dream as I dream, everyone has a vision
But pray the lord gives you again and again his mercy
Then you ask his blessings
Dreams comes, dreams goes,
Dreaming great, Cos I we be a great dreamer
Take it or leave it, I am one
Jealous ones, still envy,
As thus, have the greatest shout
Talking of how dreams came about
The industry is on fire
And is going to cause drought
Am a new poet?
Dreaming of much more poet to come
And get the deal right,
Cos am out, no great deal
Not by might, but God knows
Am not frightened
But the summary of all is that I got it real
Get focus like the eagles,
When they are out for meat
All I pray is that am not going
To go astray
Cos this is one of my greatest prayer,
And now am in the game………………………………………
I must say that there are multiple problems with this:
1. The lines flow like rap. The title doesn’t help matters also as it comes across as a musical album title when juxtaposed with the poem.
2. there are quite a number of grammatical errors; “Am aren’t special…”, “Dreams comes, dreams goes”, “…of much more poet to come”
3. I am not very sure what you are trying to express or the message you are trying to convey.
Work more, study more, refine your art. There is no end to learning.
What he said.
You are good. Just work at it.
You need much work before you do the “blow” thing.
Plenty work, walahi.
This sounds familiar. There’s room for improvement. Just keep writing, you’ll get better….. And edit before posting. You gat a couple of typos here and there.
this neither poetry nor rap, it is what it is; an introduction. so you re welcome, take the advice, make the corrections, wake the creativity, shake the… and then you’ll write poetry …or rap
I kinda like ur ‘tude.
Well, am thinking NS gat a star about to ‘blow…’
However, the typos here were really distracting.
Is this your 1st work ever?..It’s flows like Rap which is some form of poetry though..Work on EVERYTHING….then you might truly blow….Well done..$ß
Bring it out from yourself…the world will listen. You have what it takes.
@kayclimber, Like ur username says, you’re a climber. keep climbing, don’t stop, and you’ll reach the peak. The world is waiting…but not for stuff like this one. We’d prefer the polished version
My first was messier(if there is a word like that)than this.Just take d tools already suggested above and Keep climbing! VOILA!
Bros just take ur time. No hurry in life. The time wey chemo comment on one of my writeup, im nearly kill me.
@louis: so you remember that ‘killing’ abi? LWKMD!. But e no help you? No hard feelings at all. I just didn’t want you to be deceived by what others were saying. Remember that genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration.