Drop Dead, Gorgeous

Drop Dead, Gorgeous

 

DROP DEAD, GORGEOUS

“Of course we’ll do naughty things,” she cooed in his ear, rubbing herself against him. Her left hand trailed sensually down-“So many…”- his stomach – “naughty…” – to cup his genitals- “things.” She squeezed gently. He inhaled sharply, shivering and his eyelids fluttering closed, and she felt the answering swell. And then he was like a kid at his birthday party, all excited, lips and hands all over her, fumbling, kneading, kissing in the darkness of the SUV. She let him kiss her hungrily, and she kissed him back, albeit in a muted manner, trying not to spur him on, but not to dissuade him either. Then she pushed him back slowly but firmly.

“Calm down Senator,” she said, chuckling softly. “We don’t want you to…finish off before we start, hmm?”

Senator Ola stared at her for a moment as her words sank in through the lust-induced cloud in his brain. He smiled, and cleared his throat. “O-Of course not Amanda…Alright. Let’s go inside.”

He opened the door of the SUV hurriedly, holding on to the door for balance.

“Ooohh… Looks like someone had a little too much to drink tonight,” Amanda said as she picked her bag and opened her door.

Senator Ola chuckled. “Not nearly enough my dear. You’ll see.”

She closed her door as he came around to meet her. He draped his arm around her shoulders, and she smiled softly at him, her white teeth flashing up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, crushing her to his chest, and then he pulled back. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Inside the tastefully-furnished one-storey duplex, Amanda gasped. “It’s beautiful!” she exclaimed.

“You like it?”

She nodded, eyes wide as she stared at the plush, red leather seats that complimented the perfect white of the walls and the plush white carpet, so full and soft that her feet sank into them. The glass table and the electronics gleamed.

“It is one of my houses,” Senator Ola said, his chest swelling with pride. “I could give it to you, if you want…”

Amanda turned and stared at him, eyes wide, pleasantly surprised. “Really?”

“Mhm. But come first, we need to…finish what we started.”

“Ooohh…”

“This way.”

Senator Ola led her to the bedroom, his mind filled with thoughts, images… Up the stairs, down the hallway, and then, into the Master Bedroom.

Immediately the door shut, he was on her, ravenous, his tumescence straining against his trousers. Her lips did wonderful, electrifying things to his, and his nostrils flared.

“Okay, easy now, tiger,” Amanda said, smiling as she pushed him away softly again. “I think you need to go and take a shower. I like my men clean and sweet-smelling.” She leaned in close and purred into his ear. “The night is long…” Then she licked his earlobe, and probed his ear with her tongue. He felt it to his toes, and he grinned hungrily.

In moments, the shower was running, his clothes strewn over the floor, and she was alone in the room. She got ready.

When Senator Ola stepped out of the bathroom in just Boxer shorts, the sight before him made him whistle. Amanda had dimmed the lights, and she stood directly beneath the bulb in the center of the room, her back straight, her poise struck for maximum effect. Her perfect, full breasts, straining against her lacy blue bra while a matching set of undies hugged her bum, accentuating her curves. Her body gleamed where the light struck her skin, and the shadows that began from the middle of her stomach down to her inner thighs held so much promise.

Senator Ola was sure he’d stopped breathing. He stepped forward slowly, drinking her in, his eyes feasting on her; her soft smile, her wide, playful eyes. She exuded innocence and sensuality in equal doses; a potent, heady mix that threatened to make him start blabbering. When her hands touched him, all the hairs on his body stood up as though a current had passed through him. Her fingers on his nipples, her lips on his chest, the bed behind his knees. He fell on the bed, and then scuttled backwards till he got to the pillows and made himself comfortable. She crawled in after him, and, back curved, eyes staring intently into his. The world stopped; there was only the two of them. As she straddled him, she reached behind her and undid the clasp of her bra, and she tossed it away.

Senator Ola’s eyes felt as if they were going to pop from their sockets. He reached out and touched first one, and then the other nipple. And then, he was lost in Valhalla. Amanda reached beside the pillow for her handbag, slipped her hand inside, and brought out a blindfold, and four sets of handcuffs. She pulled back and swung them suggestively in front of Senator Ola.

“Mmmm… What do you have in mind?” he asked her.

“Something…kinky…”

She blindfolded him, and then handcuffed his hands behind him to the bedposts, and then did the same to his legs, making him spread-eagled. Then she took off his shorts, and took him in her mouth. Senator Ola gasped and thrust upwards, trying to get more of himself in her mouth. She worked him up slowly, tenderly, until his mind screamed. Then she straddled his stomach, and hooked her legs underneath and around his body, slowly rubbing herself on him.

Senator Ola didn’t really notice anything was wrong until he was halfway dead. The garrotte crushed his larynx, and he bucked, trying to throw her off. Amanda kept her center of gravity low and her face steely as she tightened the garrotte, the thin piano wire biting into his throat, cutting off the blood supply to his brain. He tried to scream, ordered his lips to move, but all that escaped were gasps for air. He strained and stretched, his muscles drawn taut.

And then, his body fell back onto the bed, and all was still.

Amanda held on for a while longer. And then loosened the garrotte. An angry red weal stood out on his neck, but her mind was already on her next task; getting out. She would have to kill the guard and then take the car, but that was nothing; she would ditch it and pick up her car where she’d parked it. She cleaned her saliva from off his penis, and then went into the bathroom to rinse her mouth. Then she came back, took off the handcuffs and blindfold, and put them back in her bag. She put her dress back on, retouched her makeup, and picked her bag.

One dead guard and a locked gate later, she was off into the night.

Not one hitch, but that was to be expected.

That was why she’d been hired, after all.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Simon picked the call.

“Yes?”

“We’ve got a job for you,” a familiar voice said at the end of the phone.

“We?”

“My associates and I.”

“Shoot.”

“You will receive a mail with the details shortly.”

“And payment?”

“Don’t worry”

Simon whistled. “I haven’t said yes yet.”

“When you see this, you won’t say no.”

The caller hung up. Simon looked at his phone for a moment, and then it beeped as he got an email notification. When he checked the details, and the amount offered for the job, he whistled for a second time that night.

The caller was right.

He couldn’t say no.

 ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Amanda checked her buzzing phone as she stood before her bathroom mirror, cleaning her face. She’d dumped the SUV, picked up her car, and she’d come back home. After undressing, she’d washed her face.

The mail told her she had another job.

The details made her smile.

 



82 thoughts on “Drop Dead, Gorgeous” by Raymond (@raymond)

  1. Okay. This is departure away from what I’m used to from my man, but it’s still in his lane. Great.

    Amanda – huh? Nice. Vicious little vixen.

    And your descriptions sef – are you sure…

    Well done!

    1. @Seun-Odukoya, thanks bro. Yes, this IS a departure for me. I had to think long and hard before starting this story…

  2. u went deep, man…very deep. I was hooked especially through the pre-murder scenes…you are good. well done.

    1. @nimtram27, thanks a lot.

  3. i’m sold!!!!!…like minds……great pace, great words…unbarred. Now that’s how to write!!!!….Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

    One of these days, ‘imma’ write an episode (oh, i think there should be more)………..

    1. @eimehy, thanks a lot. Glad U like it. As for more, me thinks…

  4. Great, Ray. Look forward to the rest of the tale. If I ever set up a Murder Incorporated you will be the chief planner and executioner. The sex was good.

    1. @ezeakwukwo, hehehe… Thanks a lot. No wahala.

  5. Beautiful…… Interesting……As always.

    1. @gooseberry, as always too, thanks.

  6. RAYMOND!!! Two words….I”M JEALOUS! Boy…this was soo powerfully written I almost got me some popcorn while reading this!

    Respect man!

    I love powerfully descriptive stories like this that get your tension on the edge as you wonder how things will turn out. Definitely theres gonna be another installment.

    I can’t wait to read. My eyes are hungry for the details!

    1. @Afronuts, thanks a lot. Another installment? Hmm… Una wan’ gimme High BP abi? Hehehe… Make we dey see…

  7. Good…very good. Expecting more…

  8. Outstanding. Stupendous. Superlative. I’ve run out of worthy words to describe it, or I’d have gone on. Maybe I’ll look up some new words and come back!

    1. @obinwanne, omo, my head is bigging bigging oh! Thank U…

  9. Ok. No be Raymond? I like the very different plot. You really did write this well and brilliantly too.
    When I grow up, i’ll like to be like you o.

    As always bro…

    1. @banky, hmm… Thanks bro. As always…

  10. The problem with being known for a particular genre is anyone picking your book expects just that. I didn’t even look at the tags. Just concluded it was horror.
    well written as always.

    ‘her words sank in through the lust-induced cloud in his brain’. Felt around his brain would be better than in his brain. Since you are using the word cloud wouldn’t pierced be more apt than sank.
    And then the pov in the first part felt like the senator’s rather than omniscient or even Amanda’s.

    looking foward to the next part.

    1. @osakwe, thanks. As for ‘sank’, I used it cos it felt right to me.

  11. Your descriptions were good…captivating. Leaves one wanting for more.

    1. @tamie, thanks a lot…

  12. *clears throat*
    The description was cool. But I doubt if any right-thinking Nigerian senator would allow himself to be blind-folded and held in locks in order just to be sexed.

    1. Yes they would. Such murders aren’t commonplace.

    2. @babyada, I don’t think sex makes for right-thinking…

  13. Wow!!! I’ve been reading horror, block busters, detectives etc. This is bam coming from this area. Check the detailed descriptions, wish I could do it like this.

    1. @bbtagoro, thanks. Glad U like it. U could learn.

  14. Wow!!! I’ve been reading horror, block busters, detectives etc. This is bam coming from this area. Check the detailed descriptions, wish I could do it like this.

  15. intriguing. Nice write. :)

  16. Sex sells, doesn’t it? You’ve got so many comments already. Great writing. I hope minors aren’t allowed on this forum.

    1. @brownieowolabi, thanks a lot. However, from Ur tone I deduce that U feel I put in the sex just to get more views and comments. I guess U r new here. I don’t write stories with explicit scenes in them; this is a first. Read my stuff to see.

      Thanks a lot for Ur comment all the same. As for minors, well, this is a literary site, so…ask @Admin.

      1. Just so that you do not misunderstand me. I meant it when I typed ‘great writing’ emphasis on ‘great’. The rest was just me teasing.

        1. @brownieowolabi, sorry for misunderstanding U. Thanks for clarifying.

  17. Nicely written. But being more of critic and almost
    always looking for faults, i found some things i believe you should know about.

    1. Reads more like a James Hardley Chase plot.

    2. Valhalla was used in the wrong context by you in
    your story. It is not a place of pleasure ‘per se’ but a
    place where fallen warriors can rest.

    3. You failed to point out if the assassin – who obviously left prints all over the place- did wipe her prints out. A professional assassin shouldn’t miss such small details. Or was she putting on some sort of glove? You failed to mention that too.

    4. You also failed to mention the existence of any
    security guard in the beginning. I thought you were a
    disciple of the great Stephen King? Have you forgotten how he describes even the smallest details? You were writing through the eyes of Amanda, and as a good professional assassin(which you tried to sell her off as), she should have noticed such.

    5. The title. I just dont know what exactly, but the title
    doesn’t seem right.

    Just my 2cents. Kudos still for a nice story.

    1. @dafrosti,

      1) That’s bcos this may turn out to be a story styled in that regard.

      2) Ok. However, recently Valhalla has also come to be associated with pleasure, or content.

      3) I decided against that, cos I wanted the story to have a 9ja feel. I imagined that the Police Force would be handicapped when it came to crime-solving equipment, so I didn’t want her to bother with too many things, just the things that would be obvious. Besides, having her fingerprints will mean nothing if their is no Database or a face to tie it to.

      4) I am a ‘Disciple’ (as U call me) of Stephen King. However, this is NOT a Horror story. Thrillers are fast paced stories; describing every little thing kills the pacing of the story. As for the security guard, if U notice where the story started from, U will see that I didn’t really need to bring in the security guard then. It would be like going backwards.

      5) Explain what U mean by not right, and then suggestions. Titles are meant to be attention-grabbing, and should tie in to the story… Drop dead: connotations with killing. Notice the comma, and then ‘Gorgeous’, which points to Amanda.

      Thanks all the same bro.

      1. OK. I guess i forgot that the setting was a Naija one.

        As for the title, i just feel ‘drop dead, gorgeous’ does not seem right cos the person that literally dropped dead was the Senator( who is far from being gorgeous). It just seems ‘intentionally misleading’.

        But atleast it fulfills one VERY IMPORTANT rule for titles and headings — Titles must be as eye catcy and interesting as possibly. Thats how newspapers sell their stories. Bottomline= nothing is really wrong with it, just semantics. And my sense of perception.

  18. @dafrosti, ah ah!!! Looks like you watch a lot of foreign movies so you’ve actually forgotten how it is in real life…… Finger prints in Nigeria???? That won’t work na. You suppose know.

    …….And you should’nt compare a shortstory to steven king’s millions of pages novels. Short story and novel no be the same thing.

    1. I am now seriously doubting your powers of observation. Didn’t you notice the introduction of Simon and a new ‘job’? That infers that the story was not yet complete and that this was just an exerpt from a bigger story.

      1. @dafrosti, power of observation…… I wonder what power of observation has got to do with comparing a full novel to a short story which is obviously going to be a series as the writer categorized……

        Maybe you should have observed that and waited for the next part rather than expect it to be written like a novel with description of the smallest details..

        1. @gooseberry, thank U for answering @dafrosti for me. One Hummer side mirror for U… :D

          @dafrosti, what is Ur understanding of a short story? And ‘Powers of observation’… are U throwing these words around for the fun of it? What has it got to do with the length of a story?

          1. Lol. Hummer side mirror shey? As I no get hummer, abeg bring am make I go sell am for main market…. Lol. You welcome.

  19. Musketeer!
    You know how we do it.

    1. But, is that all? Is there a sequel?
      The addition of Simon, and Amanda’s new Job…wasnt too clear what you wanted the reader to make of that.
      Are they being contracted to kill each other?

      1. Hehehe… Make we see bro. Thanks.

  20. Oga Raymond!!!!! I like that you did something new, out of your regular zone.

    But I’d have liked it even more if there was no murder or assassin or anything. This still feels very like your trademark stuff.

    1. @guywriterer, hehehe… Time never reach for me to be Nicholas Sparks na, hehehe…

      Thanks bro.

  21. Nice, really really nice!!!! Good work man!!! Would have preferred if you described the murder in a lil more detail though “Just saying”. The garrotte came out of nowhere…………

    1. @teekellz, thanks a lot bro. I wrote the murder scene like that for shock value.

  22. Good one @raymond. This is really a nice piece of works.. Looking forward to the next episode.

  23. ~Exhale~

    i`m not really a fan of horror/thriller but i must say you got a nice piece here.
    well done.

  24. Totally love this one…now i would be looking at fine galz with ‘three’ eyes ,but eh, one question
    If Senator was spread eagled and handcupped and ‘legcupped’…how does Amanda get to take off his shorts??
    this story got to have other parts…can’t wait

    1. @weirdpile, hehehe… Thanks. Other parts… Hmm…
      As for ya observation, well boxers dey get opening na, abi?

  25. I got you from ‘she got ready’….I just told myself, this is no ordinary love scene….well done but then again you are a story teller, aren’t you?

  26. @raymond…Real nice..You are a master storyteller, this, then is no biggie for you..
    Chief died in cloud 9 so he got a good deal..
    Well done.

    1. @sibbylwhyte, thanks. No biggie? Hian. U know wetin I think to write that scene? Hehehe…

  27. Good story, @Raymond. Great descriptions, as usual. It felt more like a ‘day in the life’ flash to me, rather than a full story, though.

    I wasn’t sure about why you added the last couple of sections (where Simon and Amanda get calls).

    1. @TolaO, thanks my Oga. The last section was to leave the story open to continuation…

      1. Ah, it’s multipart. I didn’t realise that – I didn’t see the ‘(1)’ that usually appears after such stories.

        1. @TolaO, well, at the time, I didn’t really know if I was gonna continue it, but popular demand made me decide otherwise…

  28. A sex angle, aye? Nice. Echoeing @toluoke, the garotte could’ve been introduced better. Also, in your rewrite, it’ll be nice to see how Amanda dispatched the guard. The Simon guy came at me almost like the garotte, sudden. But I can live with it if you plan to flesh him out some more in the future.

    I’ve come to expect everything from you to have that spooky angle to it, but this reads more like a …crime piece? Could be wrong. Like the title.

    Good job, bro.

    1. @howyoudey, thanks bro. Yeah, it is a crime piece. Simon came that way to me too… Will flesh him out more soon.

  29. All i can say is WOW!!! Thumbs up

  30. Feels good to read from you again after a while.Another good one.Thumbs up.

    Well done!!!

  31. This one got my heart panting and at the end i was smiling for a good job done here.

    Nice one bro

  32. Very intriguing!!!

  33. You write so good it annoys me!

    1. @jonnysnow, hehehe. See beef. Thanks bro. I hope to ‘annoy’ U so much more…

  34. seems lyk d whole NStellers commented on dis. hope u ‘ll notice this my chip in.

    Estas un hombre que muy bueno. bueno visto.

  35. nice ray, nice…..good Hadley Chase look-alike….

  36. WICKED!! Oh yes, this is exactly the kind of ish i like…@dafrosti was right about the misleading, albeit eye-catching title, but still…good job!

  37. a story not to miss at all………..

Leave a Reply