In One Night

As I laid next to you pretending to be asleep

I listened to your heartbeats; they told me you were awake

Something was on your mind, that much I could tell

You would tap me I knew…all I had to do was count to three

Tap, tap… you did. That was fast – faster than I thought

Coiling and twisting, I feigned unwillingness to wake

Tap, tap… more determined you tapped even harder

I turned to you and saw your face masked in pain

I knew it, I knew it… a triumphant cry in my head

If only I really knew, what I thought I knew

You were sadder than ever, I had never seen you like this

Finally you spoke, after numerous failed attempts

And from your voice I could tell it took all of your strength

“Am in love with another”, those five words pierced my heart

Stunned to silence…I didn’t see this coming

“Who is she?” I whispered, barely audible through my pain

I wondered how her face was carved differently from mine

or how her body was moulded in the loveliest of ways

Perhaps her kiss dripped of honey, sucking you into her comb

“It’s a HE” you replied… that night, my world came crashing.

49 thoughts on “In One Night” by teewah (@teewah)

  1. Hehe!!..Nice one…I have something like this in the works..Well done Tee.

    1. Thanks, and I am looking forward to see the one in the works.

  2. WHOA.

    Ms. Savage; this is genius. I love the ending.

    See finishing move!!!!!! Dayum!!!

    Is there gonna be a sequel?! Should I write one?!

    Hmm? Should I?!?!

    Great stuff!

    1. Haba! @Seun-Odukoya …you and dis your obsession with writing sequels for people…

      1. YO! @afronuts

        Abi o?! Mesef no understand the thing. Some works here just jump at me – and I feel like I need to do something to/for them.

        No be crime na!

        1. @Seun-Odukoya …okay, in that case we better make you the residential literary DJ – always doing the special remixes!

          1. @afronuts

            Word man. Word.

            Hey…we should talk a bit o…

            1. @Seun-Odukoya …holla, i dey hear. Sebi chat dey for this site?

            2. @seun… your head dey there…..

    2. Thank you @Seun-Odukoya, I would so love to have you write a sequel.

      Would U write one?

      Hmm? Would U?

      1. Okay then.

        Let’s see how that goes.

        But it won’t be a poem though.

        1. kk, no p.

          Looking forward to it

  3. LMAO!
    Simple with an absolutely unexpected ending.

    You did well.

    1. Merci Eletrika

  4. Haaa!!! You got me there!

    At first I thought it would probably end with him confessing to who ‘she’ was and so and so…then you landed the bombshell…a ‘he’????

    Waoo! You got us…you got us!

    Nice narrative teewah…I like the surprising twist – it works!

    1. Thank You @Afronuts

      Am glad you like it

  5. It’s got all the trappings of a thriller. I loved the pace, the suspense and the final twist. Lovely one, Miss Teewah Savage.

    1. He he he @tosinosha, the real Teewah Savage is looking for you o, to charge you for continuous mentioning of her name…

      Thanks alot, I apr8 you.

  6. Wow… what a happy ending?!…lol….
    seriously, this is kind of wierd….he who made key made padlock.. just imagine otherwise or key without padlock….

    Na wah for this kind of love ooooo

    Good one Teewah Savage….

    1. @greatness for life, happy ending?? You are being ironic right? Ok o.

      1. @gooseberry ; I think I am..
        I can’t just imagine how a man will leave a God Perfect Design called Female(Eve) then chose his own “ugly dude”(Steve) as partner! Huh?!!!

    2. Lmao at the key and padlock illustration….but true talk sha.

      Thanks @greatness4life, an don’t let the real tiwa savage charge me for impersonation o, lol

  7. @teewah, you know you write pretty well. This did not disappoint. More power to your elbows. Well done.

    1. “you know you write pretty well” – its Baba God o
      “more power to your elbows” – Thank you @gooseberry

  8. Uh-oh…I didn’t see that coming. Great style with that twist.

    1. Thank you @Myne, always good to read your comments

  9. it’s a HE. Boom! it tore through my heart. the world according to that really hasn’t given a clear meaning to love, yet people involved in this are not lustful. love can truly exist in the queer world, or is it some unorthodox pleasure of human beings? when such a statement can give a more dramatic shock to a woman, one has to rethink the twisting sexual acts of human beings. Good one, poet.

    1. “the world according to that really hasn’t given a clear meaning to love, yet people involved in this are not lustful” – I feel you on that statement.

      Thank you for reading and liking @ladman

  10. Alexander Emmanuel (@phronesis)

    Great work Teewah. Weldone!

    1. Apr8 your reading, thank you @phronesis

  11. hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!

    1. I join you in laughing o @ono

  12. It is a what??????… i didn’t see that coming at all…what da heck,@teewah..u write so well dat i look forward to ur works.keep doing ur thing jare

    1. Glad I could pleasantly surprise you.

      “u write so well dat i look forward to ur works” – I am humbled by your words @obionyinye (Its God all the way)

      Thank U

  13. shai (@shaifamily)

    BINGO! Another one i discovered…great stuff. The twist is very gud,.

  14. Glad u like it @shai

    Thank you.

  15. shai (@shaifamily)

    I do. Always love themes that raise a lot of “dust”

  16. Just seeing this for the first time though…………………. Really funny… but I enjoyed it.

    1. @teekellz yimu, u r a late comer na…lol

      Thank u.

      1. @teewah, I will bite off that nose now… Go joooorrrrr

        1. hehehehe u never start

  17. I dono…is this a poem or poem-styled prose?
    I don’t know much about metres and stuff but I couldn’t find any ‘structure’.
    Will you show me?

    1. @lelouch – I have not the slightest idea hehehe

      1. @teewah: Oh! that would explain this…
        I suppose I could consider it free verse.

        1. lol… yes pls do consider it as a free verse.

          About the metres and feet thingy…I rily dont pay much attention to dem, buh I know its about numbers of words in a sentence or so…or the rhyming scheme of dum dum dum…or blah blah blah.

          Don’t mind me joor,am just not the regular/typical writer..I jus dey try. @lelouch

  18. funnily nice

  19. Ok na @teewah , this post was written in 2012, right? Well this is 2014 and the gay right or whatever bill has been passed.
    What the lady needed to do is just go off straight to the Police station the next morning, and he’ll land in jail smelling all the rods therein! Mtchew…

    Now, cut, cut! I know the work is fictional, but the truth is, this writer is absolutely creative. The sudden twist to the whole direction of the story.
    You don’t have to apologise for disappointing us, because I know most of us have already concluded what the end would be when suddenly, you turned left!
    Again, one can sense the apparent disappointment that’ll show on the girl’s face, haven analysed the physique of the supposed ‘lover snatcher’.
    I like this, really

    1. Hey…@chime221. Thanks for dropping a comment. It was amazing to read, and it sure brought me here…seeing as I haven’t been here since forever.

      Thank u again!

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