LOOKING FOR AN OKADA
“Okada”
“Oga how much? Oga na N200”.
“Just from here to Kofo? Oga how far now? Na N100 I go pay”
“Oga , no way. Na N150 last. Dem dey catch okada for Ozumba. Na Adeola Odeku I go pass”
“Oga take N100”
Okada drives off, slowly…
“Oya. Oga wait. I go pay d money. I beg drive soffery”
“No wahala” was the response followed by the strong smell of palm-wine in his breath.
ON THE OKADA
Me to myself:
“I had no choice; I couldn’t continue waiting at this time of the night for another bus. That naked mad man holding his winky sitting over there didn’t look extra friendly. He might decide he wants to touch my clothes”
Okada man to himself: “oh boy, after I drop this man, I go buy palmwine from Nwanchukwu …..”
Me to myself: “which sort of okada is this? There is almost no where for me to put my leg on. God I hope to I get there in one piece”
Okada man to himself: “Dat Nwachukwu sef. Him papa. Why that guy no want give person jara. Na from that girl I go buy from next. Precious. The problem be say Precious own no de catch person sef. But e be like say she like prick. Okon give am sef…”
Me to myself: “There is no substitute for this madness. See how he rides, doesn’t this guy understand brakes. Gosh man! I hope this guy doesn’t get to hit anything. This is preposterous. God I hate my boss. Always putting me under unnecessary pressure. This country is too hectic. Next time, late or no late, I will use my car”
Okada man to himself: “Oh boy that girl must sabi do. See her yansh. That one shacks go finish man. I fit give am belle sef”
He smiles to himself.
“Okada, se you hold change”
“Oga how much?”
“Na N1000”
“Oga I no get change oh!”
Okada man to himself “E good say I don hide all my change. All these aje butter boys. Im no go wan drag change with me. That N1,000. I fit get room for Gordon side, Precious, your orobo go precious today…”
Me to myself: “No way I am giving this drunkard more than the N150 we agreed for. Does he know how hard I worked to get this money? This country is filled with quacks, who all they know how to do is ask and ask and ask”
“WE NEED CHANGE OH”
“Oga, park for there, under that tree”
“Oga, my money”
“Oga, Na only N1,000, I get, I no get change oh”
“Oga, you go forget the change oh! I dey run, you wan spoil my business. Abi, you wan give me the money make I go find change?”
“No way. You sabi person for here? Na my area be this. Make I ask person for change”
“Oga security. I beg you get change? I suppose pay this okada man N150 and na N1000 I get”
Security man to himself: “Idiot. Na when im need person, he go remember. Since I join this office e never give me nothing. He go dem waka dey go like say na im papa work. God go punish am. Make I give am N650. E fit kuruma forget balance, give me”
“Oga, na only N650 I get oh. You go take?”
“No worry. Thank you”
Me to myself: “Obviously an undercutting ploy. Boy I can smell you from a mile. I see the way you look at me from a distance, giving me your “I_go_ school_ too” look and try to speak good English, and at the same time messing up your tenses. Oga. Sorry, you_ just_ can’t_chop_me, sir. Not today”.
“I beg, oga DVD, you get change?”
“Oga, I no get”.
DVD man to himself “this boy wey no too dey buy DVD. Na only 3 DVD he don buy out of which he return one say e no clear. All these people sef. Chai. Dem no wan lose N1”.
“Oga, please give me money make I dey go now” groans the okada man.
THE END OF OUR RELATIONSHIP
“Oga mallam you get change”.
“Yes, I get”.
Mallam to himself: “When this man go buy this im instant coffee? Na im dey buy pass before? Before na nice guy. E no dey complain about the N5 I dey put on top.”
Mallam gives me the change.
“Thank you”
“Oga e don tey when you come greet your boy. I get am for coffee, plenty plenty”
“Oga, na the diet wey I dey on. My doctor talk say make I no dey drink too much coffee”
Me to myself: “Rip off sucker. This thing goes for N25 in other places. I can get it for N20 if I buy in bulk. See your hungry head, selling it for N30”
“Oga that one good oh! Make you greet madam for me”
Mallam to himself: “which kind diet, with this kind big belle.Bros, I see when you dey buy digestive everyday from Goodies”
“Oga I wan dey go, I beg my money oh!”
I hand over the N150 to the okada rider. Put it in his pocket and drives away, bringing an end to our brief encounter/relationship.
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I don't think or desire to be the best writer out there. I just hope my opinions are of use to someone, somewhere.
To read all my posts, please visit www.musingpoet.blogspot.com.
The idea is nice, but the switch from Mc, to Okada, to other characters is too abrupt, sudden. Try to go through it again, edit it and then you’ll have a master piece. Good work though
Thank Tolu.
What do you mean by the abrupt switch?
If you mean you were getting confused on who said what, because of the similarities in style of speaking by all the characters, and the constant use of “oga”, then yes. I just did a quick re-read and observed that.
Nice nice…It was fun to read..
Thanks Bubbllinna.
I enjoyed this…but I am with tolu oke on this one.
You have a masterpiece here: you just haven’t made it so yet.
Nice one. Keep improving your art. There is no end to learning.
Much appreciated Chemo.
I am still a bit lost on Tolu’s comment on the abrupt switch. Please share.
U ma sef sabi tok,y e b say na inside dia mind nah im many of dem tok? Anyway,dis na koret naijastory,but mak u mak am beta next tym b4 u post am. U try sha
thrilla. I go try do that one next time. lol
lolll, this is so funny. We’ve all had this moments with okada riders. I miss naija so much
lol. thanks boss
Real nigerian story man, but why everybody think say u be aka-gum? you know in these part we like ‘egunje.’
Weldone Man.
lol. wetin be aka-gum?
aka-gum is an ibo slang which means “a stingy hand”.
Thanks Lynn@lynda
@essang@essang lol. Now I get the statement. lol. Wetin man go do na?
There is a major flaw somewhere.
please advice. Thanks
You know what I like most about this? It’s the thoughts in each person’s mind, the way you went into the psychology of everyday relationships between everyday characters in Lagos. Mr. Osinowo, this is quite a genius idea. I agree with Tolu Oke and people who say some bits were confusing and it needs polishing but all in all, I think you could do great things with this idea…you should work on it. This was terrific. Well done.
I totally agree with u…it was an interesting read 4 me
Thanks Gboyega Otolorin @guywriterer & obi onyinye anne @obionyinye. All suggestions made are always taken seriously. I already made edits to my version of this post available on my blog. Thanks
Very nice work here my man. This is probably an experimental work and you did well with it.
Thanks Eletrika @babyad. You were spot on with your observation. I am experimenting on this type of writing to see how effective it is at communicating an idea.
I still don’t know what style of writing this can be classed under;; would love to research on it.
A nice piece here. Every man and his own opinion about a certain issue.
Thanks boss.
bad belle everywhere.
Na so we see am oh! thanks for dropping by.
T’was good but not so funny…liked the idea sha
That’s life. Different people, different problems. But bad belle plenty for our side sha.
Good work boss.
nyc story. bt guy u stingy gan. u no even buy d aboki cofee. me think say u nd d okada go throw blow small bt e gud as e dey