You’re beautiful…..Part 2

You’re beautiful…..Part 2

He didn’t go back to his aunt’s place until a few days after his finals. He told himself he was just stopping by to tell his mom he was going spend the holidays with one of his friends. They were going to be teaching brain-dead SS students who were planning to take their WAEC and JAMB exams in a couple of months. It was good money and more importantly he would have a place to sleep. He didn’t think he wanted to bother his aunt any further. The woman and her husband might not complain, but he felt he shouldn’t be an added burden on them.

He’d just paid the Okada which brought him to the house and was walking towards the gates, when a Honda Civic pulled out before the gates. He watched like one transfixed as his goddess got down from the car and slammed the door. She’d barely begun to strut towards the gates when the Honda Civil sped away. He didn’t need a sixth sense to tell him all wasn’t well in paradise.

‘Welcome, Aunty,’ the guard called cheerily to her.

‘Thank you, Monday,’ she responded quietly as she continued on her way.

He hurried after her. It wasn’t an easy fate since he was carrying his traveling bag that seemed to weigh a ton. He caught up with her as she was about to ascend the stairs. He realized in a split second that she was actually standing there lost in thought. He surmised that she was thinking about the fight she’d just had with her boyfriend.

‘Hi,’ he said quietly as he walked by her and began to ascend the stairs.

‘Hi.’

His steps faltered as she answered. He wasn’t expecting her to answer. He felt like an incapable fool as he realized that he hadn’t thought of what to say to her. His back was still turned to her as he struggled to come up with something—-anything—-to say. ‘I’m here to see my mom,’ he said and wished he didn’t once the words came out of his mouth.

‘You’re Dede?’

He turned to look at her surprised. Maybe it was the laughter in her voice as she said Dede…

‘I’ve met your mom. She’s always talking about you.’

‘Oh!’ He felt mortified as he looked up the stairs wondering what his mom had been telling her.

‘Only good things,’ she assured him with a tingling laughter.

He looked at her as her laughter warmed his heart. She was indeed an incredible-looking girl. Even more beautiful close-up. ‘My name is actually not Dede…..’

‘I know. She just loves to call you that. She thinks the world of you.’

I think the world of you. ‘She’s a great mom.’

‘We like her; my sisters and my mom. She comes to our place regularly now and we just sit around and talk.’

‘She is really nice.’ Stop, you’re sounding like a broken record.

‘You’re just coming from school?’ she asked eyeing his bag.

He nodded quietly.

‘I can still remember those days,’ she was with a reminiscing smile. ‘I could hardly wait to get out of school once I’ve written my final exams.’

‘I feel the same way.’ He wondered when she left college. He felt it was definitely not that long ago.

She was about to speak when a phone blared. He knew it wasn’t his phone which he’d not used in a while because he couldn’t afford to buy minutes into it. He watched as she retrieved her phone from her purse and looked at the caller-id. As she rolled her eyes in apparent annoyance, he wondered who it was.

‘Yes?’ she said coolly when she took the call. ‘What? Of course you should apologize. You acted like a pompous ass and I mean it. So what if a guy makes a move on your girl? What do you take me for? You think I can’t tell a guy off especially one that is so annoying? Or maybe you think I will swoon at his feet because he said hello, baby?’ She sighed loudly as she listened. ‘You were almost spitting fire because I said hello. I wonder what you would do if I stayed and talked to the idiot. You would probably crack open his head and embarrass me at my friend’s party. Honestly, you need to stop acting like you need to keep an eye on me. You want to apologize? And the next time a guy tries to pick me up?’ She shook her head. ‘You are where? Outside? Ok, I’m coming. I just want to listen to you apologize in person and I’m going back inside.’

She was already walking away before she turned to acknowledge the guy standing on the stairs watching her. ‘See you, Dede,’ she said with a smile as she hurried outside.

He followed her outside, his emotions churning. He felt like he’d been shown a glimpse of heaven and it was taken from him before he could savor the feeling. He stopped at the door of the building since he could see her from there. The Honda Civic was parked by the gates and the guy leaning against her was trying to pull her into his arms. Like a lamb led to the slaughter, he stood there as he began to accept his fate. He watched like one hypnotized as the guy continued to plead with her and finally she stopped resisting and let the guy enfold her in his arms. As their happy laughter echoed in his ears, he wished he knew what to do to get her. He was still standing there when she got into the Honda Civic and the car drove off. He could almost understand the guy’s jealousy. He would definitely spit fire if she was with him and some idiot tried to pick her up. But she wasn’t with him and she might never be with him.

As he returned into the building, he remembered the lyrics to one of his favorite songs of all times: John Blunt’s You’re Beautiful.

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel. Of that I’m sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won’t lose no sleep on that, ‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful.

You’re beautiful.

You’re beautiful, it’s true.

I saw your face in a crowded place,

And I don’t know what to do,

‘Cause I’ll never be with you

You’re beautiful.

You’re beautiful.

You’re beautiful, it’s true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it’s time to face the truth, I will never be with you.



25 thoughts on “You’re beautiful…..Part 2” by ymoweta (@ymweta)

  1. Okay…the love that wouldnt happen is what the plot revolves around? Everything was in place but something seems to be missing. I really hope am not been hard on ya…
    I mean, what about the mom? She would always live with the aunt? So why bring her in?
    And giving us a complete verse of Blunt…I believe that taking the relevant parts would have rocked better…kinda more professional.
    All the same…Okay.

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      That’s not the complete verse of Blunt. I took out the part I felt is relevant to the story. It’s just a story about a guy who finds love when he isn’t expecting it.

  2. “It wasn’t an easy fate”

    I think you meant ‘it was not an easy feat’

    Ada’s right – there’s something missing from the story. It feels incomplete.

    Nice one though.

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      Thanks Seun. Maybe I’ll think about adding a part 3. Lol

  3. I like the lyrics more. But you still have issues with the telling of the story. I told you that in the previous instalment.

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      Thanks Eletrika.

  4. Nice one. Lactoo is back

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      Thanks Lactoo

  5. Nice one, gud lyrics. Lactoo is back.

  6. gooseberry (@gooseberry)

    @lactoo, you want us to comment on your comeback here? Please put that on your profile. Thankyou.

    Now to the koko:

    I’m thinking you shouldn’t have given that in-depth description of the mum/witch stuff since it is not relevant to the story. your storyline switch gave the story this multiple theme feel and took out of the message. In case of next time, I think its cool to handle one central theme. *I don’t know if you get my point*.

    You write well, but you need to work on your story build up.

  7. ymoweta (@ymweta)

    Thanks for your comments goosberry

  8. Lactoo, @louis…. In fact, let me not say anything…yet.

    @ymweta, I like the plot, and the story is simple. However, as pointed out, it is lacking something…heavy. And I don’t think a guy will stand with his bags and start thinking of a Love song in his head.
    Plus, I am not satisfied with how U left the family conflict for the unrequited Romance….

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      @lactoo, my husband would. It depends on the guy. lol. I think the family conflict is resolved in the guy’s mind once he got his mom out of there. He didn’t care about his dad’s property since it was nothing anyways.

      1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

        I’m sorry. That comment was meant for Raymond. lol.

  9. Hahahahahahaha
    @raymond, we sure didn’t miss that lactating kid.

    Nice going. I agree with @adaobiokwy.

  10. oluchi007 (@oluchi007)

    I actually liked the story. There’s room for improvement, yes, but it has that sentimental feel that you can relate to. Well done, ymoweta.

    1. ymoweta (@ymweta)

      Thanks oluchioo7

  11. I enjoyed the story, couldn’t be bothered with the lyrics…lol

    1. Thanks Mercy. Lol

  12. The story about unrequited love..one always feels it despite the things it might lack..
    Nice going ymoweta..NS is a place to get better..so keep posting your stuff and keep learning..there is always room 4 improvement..Well done..

    1. Thanks Bubbllinna.

  13. Nice story. If it doesn’t have a part three I will agree with Adaokwy but if it does I’m waiting for it. Well done!

    1. @ ablyaguy, lol. Thanks. I’ll think about it

  14. There is something to the way you write that I really like.When I get the right words to describe it I’ll get back to you.

    To the story. Like others have said, what really work was the double theme style that you adopted.The beginning spent too much time on the travails of the mother, whereas it was actually a enrequited love story. It is always better to stick to one theme, and if you would do two, develop them together at the same pace.

    Well done!!!

    1. Wee noted. Thank you.

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