The Wedding

The Wedding

01/12/2011

   For my only Tunde.

Kola stood at the altar, struggling to conceal the nervousness drumming in his ears. He stared out at the edgy, anxious faces of his friends and family looking up at him, as though waiting for some kind of an explanation.

He frowned and shifted his feet around a bit. His palms were drowning in their own sweat, his heart was thumping at an alarming speed and he was battling the nausea threatening to overwhelm him. Surreptitiously glancing at the clock, he gave a muffled groan of despair, trying to keep his face expressionless.

This was already 10:42am. Where was she? Kola tried to calm himself down. He prayed quietly, as he had been doing since 10 o’clock, begging God to just keep her safe. Even if she wanted to jilt him, he just prayed that she was OK wherever she was…

Where was she?!!

The church doors burst open and all necks instinctively swivelled around, eyes wide open and breath bated. A little girl toddled in on shaky legs, the yards of pink lace on her dress swirling around her. Pausing to regain her bearings, she  ran off in search of her mother, childish laughter echoing behind her.

A collective sigh of disappointment drifted up to the high ceilings as everyone shifted in their seats and coughed delicately. Kola could already detect sympathetic smiles and pitying looks in many of the faces below him.

All eyes turned as an usher scuttled in, frantically gesticulating to the organ player. The heaved sigh of relief was unanimous as everyone settled down, small smiles cloaking their previously worried faces.

Kola stared wide-eyed as the lacy silhouette framed in the doorway, sunlight streaming in all around her. She was actually here! His heart, now beating more regularly, skipped a few beats all over again.

He saw her smile reassuringly at him from beneath her veil and mouth “Sorry I’m late” and his heart melted, just as it had so many times before. How could he ever have doubted her willingness to commit to him? He smiled fondly as her father hugged her, very obviously trying to control his emotions.

A jumble of emotions flickered across his face as Tosin took the final steps to meet him and her hand, at last, was placed in his. They hugged, instinctively; clinging to each other like two baby seals abandoned on a floating iceberg.

The sniggers and playful protests from the congregation cracked them out of their little reverie. Reluctantly disengaging, they stood squeezing hands, smiling sheepishly at each other like juveniles caught behind the tool shed.

Stealing a sideways glance at his almost-wife, with the priest droning on in the background, Kola felt his heart contract gently. This is what riding off into the sunset was all about.

P.S.

This was written for one of my brothers. I was desperately happy for him shortly before his wedding. I’ve struggled to make the story “flow” a bit more, but failed so far. Hope you like nonetheless. Enjoy! :-)

Joy.

 



22 thoughts on “The Wedding” by missmeddle (@missmeddle)

  1. This is LOVELY. Short and sweet.

    Intense too.

    You did well. I hope your brother and his wife read this.

  2. I think it’s Ok. But as it’s clearly meant to be flash, I don’t think it was enough. Flash fiction should be short and power-packed. This felt too… I don’t know… too tepid, nothing new.

  3. Nice and intense, I felt I was there.

  4. Weddings are boring, reading about them is not so different..It is commendable that you tried to put into words what your brother felt when his bride was late ..Well done.

    1. Hahaha @sibbylwhyte ooooo!!!

  5. This was not a story na. It was like a news flash.
    You write well, though.

  6. Honestly,there is nothing new abt d idea in ur work bt ur writing is good….short and intense…i felt as if i was in d congregation…keep writing

  7. brownieowolabi (@brownieowolabi)

    Nice. Leaves one with a thirst for more. I must say I don’t particularly like wedding stories. This one held some promise. Keep on writing.

  8. Almost thought a twist was coming ahead when the little girl ran in instead of the bride, but at the end , it was all good. Sure your brother will appreciate this :) ; Hope he writes one for your wedding though :)

  9. It “sha” ended well for the couple…Ur style of writing is cool, you made the story to feel very real…see me o!, It was real sef…

  10. Enjoyed reading…
    until,

    His almost-wife?!
    Soon to be na!

    Plus…one/two lines paragraphing…kill me now!

  11. I really felt the tension Kola was engulfed in…

    Well Done.

  12. Considering your postscript, this is really nice.

  13. Congrats to him.

  14. Short and sweet. I liked it.

  15. I like this. It’s really well-written. Some cool expressions: “his palms drowning in their own sweat.” The part where the little girl barged in; I could see that so clearly.

    The piece works for me, cos even though it doesn’t seem to have much ‘action’ or a punch per se, I don’t think that was your aim. I think the aim was just to give a sweet, simple account through the eyes of a nervous bridegroom, and I think you did it very well. Well done.

  16. Sweet. But not especially memorable.

  17. Thanks so much everyone; for the near-cold, lukewarm and downright scorching hot comments. You’re all beautiful people. Mwah!
    :-)

  18. bbtagoro (@bbtagoro)

    Being in a situation like this is tiring with the little girl barging into the hall, my mind was on something unpleasant before I got to know she ran to her people. My GOD! Imagine the tension and all that.

    You did well to have gone into your brothers’s mind and caste the event out from his eyes. I hope he’ll appreciate this.

    Well done.

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