I am really getting tired of this all this Papa and Mama things in churches…..now people don’t even glorify God again in their testimonies it’s their Papa(Pastor)….read how a typical testimony goes…
One day I was walking to the market, when I was suddenly kidnapped by ten hefty men. Prior to that day, I have been listening to Papa’s tape and in one of them papa said this, so when those people kidnapped me, I just started repeating what papa said. I was saying my papa said I shall not die, so you kidnappers will not kill me. My papa said we shall not be mince meat for kindnappers, you kidnappers will not make mince meat out of me. Today, I decree that papa’s prophecy for my life shall come to pass! As soon as I finished saying that, the kidnappers just opened the door to the car and let me go”
At this point the congregation is on their feet jumping up and down, the camera zooms on papa, who is giving the yes ke nod. Testimony person hands the mike back to the pastor in charge and goes to where Papa is sitting and bows down/kneels down/dobales down and Papa gives him/her the “go in peace my son” pat on the head.
Second person comes on stage
My business has been suffering a lot of set backs, so last month when papa said ‘bring something you use for business’, I brought my whatever and papa prayed on it. That week was also anointing week, so I brought my bottle of oyel and papa prayed. The next day, I went to my shop early before the other people got there. I sprinkled my oyel on my door and on the front of my neighbors shop. I started repeating what Papa said and before the end of the day I had many customers. Even the customers who normally patronize my neighbors came to my shop that day. I am very happy and proud to be a member of this church!!
Again, rush to where the beaming Papa is seated for the anointed pat on the head.
Rise and Repeat.
I’m hoping discerning minds won’t need me to explain what is seriously wrong in the above but just in case you value your time and mind way too much to waste it trying to decipher the actions of the Papa worshipers, I will tell you – Not once during their testimony do they mention God or Jesus!! Not once and the very few times they do mention God, they use Papa as a qualifier i.e The God of Papa did this, the God of [Insert Papa's name here] did that. God is not even worthy of being praised alone, nooo they gotta add Papa to it.
Now you would expect that when Papa gets on stage after the testimony, he will find a way to divert the glory to God, yeah? Please my friends, don’t hold your breath. He gets up there and starts another session of decreeing.
I decreeeeeeee that members of this church will never die!!
I decreeeeeeeee that member of this church will be rich,
I decreeeeeeeeeee that anyone is under the sound of my voice shall blah blah blah. .
. . .Again, nothing, nada about God!! It would be so hilarious to watch the puppets jump at the pull of the strings, if it weren’t so sad!!
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What actually is the essence of this article? It sounds like a personal opinion meant to be raised at a beer parlour discuss.
This is Naija stories. I dont think its the best place to be airing something similar to Boko HAram ideals. If you need to make fun of a church or air your grieviances against God I suggest you do it on some gossip forum.
@Afronuts Thank you for taking time out to read the article even though I am disappointed at your verdict…that’s where I will stop for now
@daprof …seriously, I’m not saying you’re a bad writer. Infact I can see you have a way with words which is good for a writer but for this topic, I think this is the wrong platform. Religious issues are a sensitive lot and not something you’d want to hype on a social networking site for writers. You made a fallacy of hasty assumption without any knowlegde whatsoever about what you’re writing and that, my friend, could give you negative feedback.
@Afronuts If you think i am using this article to make a jest of anyone or church, then I am afraid you are dead wrong. I am only pointing out what is now becoming a norm in our churches especially in Nigeria and telling it the way without any form of regret whatsoever. I didnt post this with the intention stir up arguments based on personal sentiments.You have every right to your opinions about this but don’t label “a fallacy of hasty assumption and the rest of the blablabla”
@daprof …okay if you say so. Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh. Things like this happen and I’m glad you made clear what you intended. I like that…it means you’re open to improvement and growth. You’ll definitely go a long way with that attitude.
And forgive me…I didn’t know this was your first post. Welcome to NS bro!
@afrnuts its alright man at least i will not forget you as the first perosn to comment on mt first write up..Cheers
@Afronuts, NS is as much for readers as it is for writers. If readers like what @daprof has written, then good for him, I say.
@Tola tanx Tola
I do not agree with @Afronuts here. I believe that this write-up is here because @Admin approved it beyond ‘gossip’ and ‘beer parlor’. How many stories aren’t even personal opinions?
@daprof, this is both insightful and hilarious. I wish every ‘child of God’ would read this and again realize who the honour belongs to…
In ur first testimony however, you added a quotation mark at the end…where did it start?
And u said, oyel…I know what that is but given that it is a way of pronunciation and not a word, would be better highlighted… ‘oyel’
Good one here!
Thanks a million Adaobiokwy This is is actually my first post on naija stories as I am just a week old in this great site…about your observations and corrections I will work on them in my next post as I will try to reduce my typo errors to the barest minimum
I think what @Afronuts is particular about is that besides this piece lacking objectivity and clarity of position, NS may not quite be a suitable platform to start a campaign for emphasizing God in our Churches.
Exaclty part of what I was talking about. Thanks for making it clearer scopeman
Yeah. I think the issue I had/have with it is – it was reporting.
If a story had been woven around it now…
Welcome all the same. That’s why you’re here.
@Suen Thanks for your comments I intended to make it in form of a story but I changed my mind cuz I felt It would attract more views if I left it this way anyways I will do so in my next topic.
And it sure got you several views 194 and counting!! Men, I haven’t achieved that feat in my entire stay here!
I enjoyed your piece and might have added similar thoughts but preceding comments made me to be quiet…
@seun: your new name is noted…
@Sueddie tanx Man I am humbled
@Sueddie wats was Seun’s old name?
It used to be Seun or @Seun but you kept calling it Suen…hee hee hee. Rings better to my ears…:)
@Sueddie U ehn!!!!!@Seun please pardon ma gross error it wasn’t done on purpose
@adaobiokwy lol…I think you got the fact wrong. Admin only approves so that we can further approve or disapprove.
It seems you see this as a work of art and you were ‘wowed’ by it. No qualms…everyone has what wows them.
I still maintain my stand though even if you call this a masterpiece.
@Afronuts I do not believe that every submitted story gets published…just saying.
Stand on whatever u think…wouldn’t change my view.
This morning, someone has given us his take on movies…movies? not a story.
Sometime ago, someone shared something about the ‘cross’…not a story.
Articles/updates/views…all make it here. What’s diff here?
Not a story? Really.
You still don’t grasp my point @adaobiokwy. Maybe you should read scopeman and Bubbllinna’s comments for further explanation.
@Afronuts i don’t have to…that’s kinds my point… and he doesn’t have to write what makes you comfortable… that’s kinda his point.
Haba.
Abeg una die this matter ALREADY!
abeg make una die d matter oh biko@Suen tanx for intervening
I really like this piece.I wonder why some say that it lacks in objectivity. As an aside, the answer to this plague is simple: Religion has been politicised, politics has been religionised, they have both been politicised!
Well done!!!
@ Lawal thanks for your compliments I really appreciate it
@adaobiokwy ..Write what makes me comfortable ke? lol…as if I support ass-kissing write-ups and fiction.
madam lay it to rest abeg… lets kill the matter, each writer to his/her own.
@Afronuts…”ass-kissing write-ups” is dat wat u call it?
@daprof
Only people you value their opinion should be able to hurt ya…
@adaobiokwy
that is a fact
@daprof …I wasn’t refering to yours oh! Please don’t get me wrong. I was refering to a statement @adaobiokwy made.
@afronuts
Ok if you say so
@Afronuts … @adaobiokwy: Your comments are tearing me apart with laughter…@Daprof: Nice controversy you stirred there…:)
@Sueddie dats was not the intention Bro
And for a first post, one would expect something less opinionated….but I guess you will enjoy this platform very much….Welcome!
ya Scopeman I am already enjoying myself
@ scopeman: I think you need to start forming your own informed opinion and stop seconding what people say. Damn!!! When you read a piece, what goes through your mind? Do you want to enjoy the piece or tear it apart like an unrepentant critic? That kind of stance is not good. I appreciate the energy that everyone puts into writing anything, that why you see me say well done at the end of every comment, just as a form of encouragement.
And I remember you telling some people who raised some issues on your ‘Hell hath no fury 2′ story to take it like that because it was just a story.
Just be easy man!
I like the way you wrote this, and your message too.
Tanx Electrika I feel so welcome
I liked this. I don’t know if this describes a particular church but this papa papa thing is quite disconcerting. My opinion.
Tanx man
@Afronuts!!! Lol. I dunno how to explain but you are just a character.
I like the message of this writeup but you know, religious talks are somehow confusing so I don’t really enjoy them cos there are a lot of confusion in it so ill just talk about your writing skill. You write well. I think you should have put the testimonies in inverted commas. I like the message but no comments concerning it.
Welcome to NS.
@gooseberry …LOL! Me? Wetin I do naw?
@Gooseberry Tanx your point has been noted
The ‘testimonies’ got me laughing..Daprof, U put it down lyk it happens in some of the churches…
This is OK like this, it would have been better if you had made it fictional..all the same Well done and welcome…
@daprof …I hope you took the point @Bubbllinna just raised here. It would have worked very well if you had written it as fiction. You’d have more opportunity to play around with your writing style.
@Afronuts Okay Sir
@Bubbllinna Tanx I will definitely put up a better post next time
@afronuts, you no do anything o. The thing about religious talks. An argument already.
mmmm.. I don’t know what to say. as I read I tried visualizing AY on stage. cool though.
@Adams are you seriouse? wow I am really flattered
I don show. This matter cannot die when I havnt said my piece.
First, daprof, your write up was superb. I love it.
@Afronuts and @scopeman, you guys were totally out of order. You ά̲̣яε lucky I came in too late.
Anyways, daprof, you do not need to explain yourself to anybody on NS (except me of course). Everybody will not agree or like what you write.
But I can totally relate with your story jare.
Welcome to NS.
MADMAN IS BACK.
Welcome.
@Suen are you seriouse?
GQ, take time o
hahahahaha
Which time…?
Yours, mine or theirs?
@Seun :Jamb question!!!!!!
Well…you sound like you’re writing your first JAMB…
Don’t worry. I’m sure by your fifth attempt; you’ll know not to call stuff like that ‘JAMB question’.
LMAO!!!!!
@Suen You must be a prophet…..how did you know the only error in your verdict in that verdict of your is that this year will make it my eight attempt…….and if I don’t make it i wont give up……LOL
@Kaycee tanx for your compliments I don’t think I deserve it ooh
@kaycee lol….I knew it was a matter of time b4 you came out baring your fangs.
Me out of order? Bros…no let me chop you raw oh…I don talk my own and I no send.
I no say you like arguement…too late, matter don die.
@daprof, there were a few errors but I liked this piece. I’m normally a pro-church, anti-church bashing person but even me I can’t deny that people do what you described here. Nice piece. I agree. Everyone should learn that God holds all the power not any Pastor, and pastors that try to share in the glory, well.. they will soon receive their reward.
Good first post Oga. Well done. At least you made your entry here in a BIG way!
@Gboyega thanks but I promise you wont see this kind of post from me again at least for a long time….tanx once again
hehehehee…so which one do you do in your own church or how do you give testimonies in your own church? Do the people in your own church almost idolize the pastor? hehehehee or are you even guilty of it? Daprof, I say be careful lest your stone hits the glass house and the pieces stick into you (That is for the message you passed across with your post)
As for your writing, I believe it would have been excellent with fiction but then again you are the creator of your own piece and can do whatever you want with it. Welcome to NS and kudos.
@Enoquin I don’t know what you are hitting at I just wish you are within arms length to for you to translate your writings to words…..I still appreciate the compliments anyway
I enjoyed this piece very much. It seems to have raised some controversy.
would say ‘No West Coast/East Coast’ bickering here.
@Seun or as he is now called, @suen,
@daprof, please do write whatever you think would be cool to you. As non-fiction, it works perfectly for me. You have raised your
views and anyone is free to think what they want. I do beg you not to say you wouldn’t post something similar in the future. Feel
free to post WHATEVER it is you like. We can be controversial and you can be sure that even if this was different we would have
said one thing or the other.
I have my sentiments but overall if I see something I can read that brings a smile, yes…I smile.
P.S: Do keep this piece but in addition, you can also weave fiction around it. Best wishes on such a good one. Your diction is simple
and to the point. Nice one. Well done.
@Sueddie Okay sir I really appreciate your comments/advice
And I forgpt to say welcome to NS. Do have a good one.
Cheers!!!
Ewo! What a simple story can do to people. Daprof no send anybody for here but send somebody close to you that happens to attend the church.
This wasn’t enough for me to evaluate your writing ability. I kinda did s/th siimilar on my first post and s/b picked it to pieces(as a defence)- it’s part of the fun. Don’t allow comments to get to you. I’m looking forward to your posts for you indeed have a good start. Welcome to NS.
Abi o…
@ablyguy thanks man
This would have been better as a forum topic. If this is a story, albeit non-fiction, it is malnourished at best, despite the fact that U r saying what happens in some churches.
@Raymond I gat your message anyways this is my first post on naijastories….so i believe my next post will address the errors you have pointed out