Loud shrieks of children playing around Adepegba in her expansive compound filled the atmosphere. The over a dozen children playing in the compound seem to be having a swell time as they ran from one part of the compound to another, eating and playing with different toys.
Adepegba was renowned all over the neighborhood for her fondness with kids. Her graceful and cheerful nature together with her famed generosity made her a very popular woman in her community.
On that day, she had been her cheerful self as she attended to the numerous wants of the children. She was smiling, running and eating with them. But, behind the façade of her geniality lies her worry and sadness. She wished she had a child of her own. She had been married for about ten years or thereabout and she was yet to be blessed with the fruit of the womb. Ajani her husband had been supportive and understanding, he has refused to pick a second wife despite his relatives’ entreaties. But the pressures from her husband’s relatives and hers were becoming unbearable. It was in the midst of the pressures and sneers that she had started to give her friend’s proposal a very serious thought. Labake, her friend had promised to take her to Baba Adifa. He was noted for his fame and dexterity in his chosen trade. He was a native doctor of repute. It was rumored that nobody ever got to him without having their problems solved. Adepegba had refused to yield to Labake’s entreaties. But gradually, she began to discover that the more she tried to push the thought out of her mind, the more it seemed to make sense.
* * *
KO! KO!! KO!!! Labake knocked thrice with her left hand on the door of Baba Adifa’s mud hut
“Ta ani?” a voice from within the hut asked who is there.
“kara o le o baba!” Labake said greeting the native doctor in a manner meant to put him at ease. Adepegba followed closely as they made their way into the hut.
“E ma wole o” Baba Adifa said welcoming them in a low shaky voice
“ Ifa nki yin o!” He continued with greetings from his ifa the silent speaking oracle.
The women sat on the mat facing him.
Baba Adifa’s eyes were red and sunken. White beards covered his chin he had a bald pate. Hanging on his neck was a curved short horn covered with a red piece of cloth. The whole hut had effigies of different shapes and sizes; a part of the wall was covered with a piece of red cloth with cowries lining it in a horizontal pattern. A strong incense burnt slowly from one corner of the hut. The pungent smell of the incense almost made Adepegba puke.
“Ki le bawa o?” Baba Adifa said enquiring the reason for their visit in a calm voice. Labake took time to explain to him with so many gesticulations and embellishments particularly as to what her friend was going through in the hands of her in- laws. Baba Adifa nodded and looked on calmly as Labake made her elaborate and long explanation
“What is your name?” Baba Adifa asked forcefully as he looked straight at Adepegba
“Adepegba!” Labake interjected before her friend could speak. The native doctor brought out his opele from a pouch fastened to his waist. He began to chant incantations with the stringed cowries with Adepegba’s name being pronounced intermittently. After about ten minutes or so of rigorous incantations he threw down the stringed cowries, he repeated this cycle three times. He paused for a long while and stared at no one in particular. As he stared, he kept on shaking his head
“Baba!” Labake exclaimed breaking the silence, “what is the matter?” She asked.
The old man continued to nod his head still staring into empty space
Hmmn… “ayanmo eda ko ni tase” he said stressing the inevitability of destiny. This he muttered to no one in particular.
After what seemed like eternity, he turned and looked at Madam Adepegba sharply
“What do you really want me to do for you?” He asked
“Baba I want a child of my own she said frightfully”
“Hmmn… you want a child?”
“Yes”! She said in a confident tone, she has now overcome her fright. Baba Adifa repeated the question three times and thrice she answered in the affirmative.
“Go and return in three days time I shall prepare something for you to eat whenever you want to sleep with your husband, I assure you a banana tree is always fruitful you shall use your back to carry a child” With this they departed the native doctor’s hut. They walked home briskly as dusk was fast approaching. . * * *
It had been eighteen years since the visit to Baba Adifa’s place Romoke had grown into a beautiful and cheerful young woman. She looked exactly like her mother Adepegba . She had her mother’s gracefulness and cheerfulness. However the relationship between Romoke and her mother began to turn sour as her mother insisted on marrying her off and she was bent on pursuing her education. Her mother’s will prevailed as she was eventually married off shortly after her eighteen year birthday and she subsequently became pregnant. Madam Adepegba was overjoyed at the news of her daughter’s pregnancy; she showered Romoke and her husband with lots of gifts and attention as she eagerly awaited the delivery date.
* * *
GBAM! GBAM!! GBAM!!! Adepegba and her husband were rudely awakened by the loud knock on the door by some emissaries who had come to inform her that Romoke had gone into labour. Despite that it was well past dusk, she picked her headgear and wrapper and off she proceeded to her daughters’ house.
On getting close to her house, she saw some women from afar standing in front of the house with their hands on their head. Thinking they were dancing at the news of her daughter’s safe delivery, she started dancing from afar holding her wrappers. She got nearer only to discover they were wailing and sobbing. She stopped dancing abruptly and asked for what was amiss.
“Ha! Ha!! oma se o!” The women wailed.
“What is going on?” Adepegba screamed.
“She lost the baby” someone amongst the women said. Adepegba’s heart skipped!
“What of Romoke?”
“Ha! Mama Romoke omi danu agbe na tun fo.o!” The women wailed louder making insinuations on how hopeless the situation was
“What are you s-a-y-i-n-g?” Madam Adepegba held one of the women tightly by the neck almost suffocating her
“ Romoke ti ku o!” The woman screamed to the obviously distressed Adepegba that her daughter was dead!
“Y-E-P-A! Mo se agbako” Madam Adepegba screamed and passed out!
She woke up to find Ajani her husband by her side
“Ah! Ah!! Why have I been this forsaken?” She whispered to no one in particular as her husband tried to console her.
Her mind cast back to over eighteen years ago during her visit to Baba Adifa with her friend Labake. She particularly remembered her second visit to the native doctor alone to collect the concoction he had promised her. It was during this visit that Baba Adifa had tried to dissuade her from going ahead to take the concoction. Because Ifa had revealed to him that she was not destined to have a child in this part of the world. Any child she brings into the world will not outlive her eventually. The child was destined to die before attaining the age of twenty one. She insisted, thinking she could outwit fate. She had planned for her daughter to be married before attaining the age of twenty one. Hoping that even if the inevitable happens, at least she was going to be left with a grand child. Now all that seems forlorn as she remembered Baba Adifa’s statement. She sobbed uncontrollably as she muttered “AYANMO EDA KO NI TASE!”…
THE END
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We might disagree here…I do not believe that my fate lies with the gods…Igbo’s will say, “onye kwe. chi ya ekwe” If u agree, your personal chi would agree…but then, we cant have a perfect view of the masquerade if we stand in one place…so, there could be truth in the gods-controlled-fate…
My biggest problem with this work is this…not easy on the eyes at all! Paragraphs…! Everything was so choked up…
Again, the ending was rushed. The transition between the visit to the native guy and 18 years later was…incredibly breath-taking…and not in a good way.
The plot is really cool…takes me back to the time of my fathers…
The narration somehow read like that of a drama piece, except without the other elements. It is a fine story, no doubt, but it didn’t stand out. Well done.
And then the yoruba parts…what are the non-yoruba readers supposed to do?!?!
I like the story sha.
Nice story, but…it felt like I was reading a folk tale.
@adaobiokwy, Gbam! I ji ya.
I like the infusion of Yoruba though; gave it an ethnic feel, but maybe U could’ve helped us with a glossary at the end.
Keep working.
Yeah. Yoruba and their culture. I like that. I enjoyed your story.
Picture the story in an anthology.
Do you think this would be someone’s choice story?
If there was a price of 1000 dollars, would you post this work?
I couldn’t even finish the tale. I guessed the ending.
We are fond of writing just so we know how we would fare at it. Writing should not be trial runs.
This isn’t your best effort.
Not too bad but the telling could be better.
Well done!!!
Looks like everything has been said. You can do better than this. Re edit and ask others to help you proof read.
You have a good story, package it well.
It read lyk a tale..and the yoruba infusion made it look cool but then I didn’t get their meanings..
Rewrite the story, taking into consideration the comments made and it will come out..Better..
Keep writing..Well done
@babsiwalewa, a good effort, but the story is rather predictable. I liked the way you added Yoruba speech in the story to make it authentic, while still providing enough context for the reader to figure out what it meant.
You’re getting better at working on your tense confusion issues, but they still pop up – like
“But, behind the façade of her geniality
lieslay her worry and sadness.”“Any child she brings into the world
willbold not outlive her eventually”Also look at your punctuation.
Good effort, overall.