Perhaps Debby had a premonitory dream? Or all she wanted was her husband to stay back at home with her on a beautiful Saturday morning that would mark their first year wedding anniversary?
Tony couldn’t fathom what the sad look on his wife’s face depicts when the duo woke up to the alarm-noise from Tony’s phone- kept under his pillow. Meanwhile, Debby who first opened her eyes had picked her husband’s phone to check the cause for the alarm, again on a weekend day. It was a reminder text beeping- and Debby expected it to be about their wedding anniversary. Of-course she didn’t expect him not to know that Saturday 3rd of March 2012 would be exactly a year that they got married, but on a second thought, she knew how her husband had been preoccupied lately with his job, hence she wouldn’t be surprised if he had to keep a reminder on his phone. Even the Friday night that Debby thought she could have a smooth discussion with her husband wasn’t an exception from the other nights. 10pm, Debby would have gone to bed before Tony returned, and leaves home very early telling his wife to suspend every gist till when he returns, and again to meet her asleep.
Debby however had played along. She was the simple and respectful kinda wife. She had never thought otherwise and she wouldn’t doubt the much love Tony bestows on her. Debby actually knew well that Tony’s new job was tasking and somewhat time demanding. But to her dismay the reminder text she read on her husband’s phone was ‘Meeting with Gen. Oniovosa- Oriental Hotel- 8am.’ Albeit she wasn’t cheerful at first, but her countenance changed to a more sorrowful one after reading the text, and she had since returned the phone beside Tony’s pillow.
Sleepy Tony turned around- stretching his arms and legs out of the duvet and suddenly he opened his eyes as he jerked up.
“Awwww, it’s 6:30!” he yawned and he punched the red key on his phone to silent the noisy alarm. Then he looked to his side- there Debby was calmly seated, folding her arms across her seven month pregnancy.
“Oh! C’mon my dear, what’s wrong?” Tony asked as he crawled on the bed to cuddle up against his wife. He held up her head by the cheeks and laced her lips with brief kisses- still, Debby was adamant.
“Debby wont you talk to your husband, huh?” Tony asked hastily. Although worried, but he was more concerned about his 8o’clock appointment as one of his eyes frequently checked at the wall clock. Debby heaved and she turned her gaze at him.
“Tony, I don’t want you to go out today, please,” she begged in sepulchral tones.
“Babe, c’mon…. stop sounding scary,” Tony responded smilingly- then he rushed a peck on her cheek and he jumped out of the bed, dashing towards the bathroom.
“Honey pleeeeaseeee….” Debby maintained in a teary voice.
“OoooK,” Tony nodded- turning back at the bathroom door. “I know why you are sounding this way….. today is our first wedding anniversary ……yeah good!” At hearing this, Debby smiled- briefly.
“But Sweetheart you know what?” Tony walked closer to his wife and was also buttoning his pyjamas. “Well it’s supposed to be a surprise package, but since I’ve been compelled to let it out…. So this is it!” Tony shrugged at his wife as he took his seat at the edge of the bed.
“You know the deal with Gen. Oniovosa?”
“Yes?” Debby nodded.
“Ok. We are done with the last chapter and I am having a final review with him this morning.”
“But Tony can’t you postpone it, at least till Monday… for our sake now?” Debby cut in.
“Yes! For our sake! And that’s why I think I need to go see him this morning..” Tony’s voice almost rose to a scream.
“Alright Sweetheart this is it.. apart from our initial bargain which he has been fulfilling, he said he is going to give me a cheque of an additional ten million naira…. this morning.”
“Wow!” Debby exclaimed and quickly buried her mouth in her palms.
“Oh oh you see?” Tony shrugged and continued, “and the most important of all is that, when I’m coming back, I have plans to branch at the Toyota shop to get you your Rav-4 jeep…. which was meant to be the surprise package for my wife on this special day..”
“Wow….. Tony!,” Debby screamed cheerily.
“OH no no noo this is how it goes,” Tony shook his head, pointing his index finger at his wife and he feigned a frown. “You said no going out today, so I’m staying back at home today… for our sake.. you know babe?” he maintained his frown as he pulled out the duvet- hopped in and covered himself.
“Hahahaha. Oh my God!” Debby laughed and clapped her hands mockingly at him. Then she pulled off the duvet from his body and smacked his buttocks… “Tony oya get up jor, it’s almost seven…. traffic and all.”
Tony didn’t react, instead he feigned to be snoring.
“Ok, wait for me ehn, I will go and bring a bucket of water from the bath now to bath you here.” Debby made an empty threat as she managed to lift her swollen legs off the bed- placing them gently on the tiled floor.
Quickly, Tony threw himself out of the bed and while his wife grimaced at the twinge she felt on her knees as she tried to rise on her heavy body- Tony had already rushed inside the shower cubicle. Nevertheless, Debby still got up from the bed and with her hands supporting her waist; she dragged herself to the dinning to prepare coffee for her husband.
A few minutes later, Tony rushed out to the sitting-room with his briefcase in one hand and the other he used to adjust his tie.
“Babe am set,” he called out to his wife.
“Your coffee on the dining table,” Tony heard her tiny voice echoing from the kitchen. Hurriedly, he went to the dining and had just two sips, and then he entered the kitchen to see his wife.
“I want to quickly microwave this small rice for you..” Debby said caringly.
“Not now dear, you know I have to drive through to the Island?”
“It’s ok then, I can’t wait to see you back home,” Debby shrugged.
“Hmmmm, Deb Deb, or to see you jeep? Hahaha” Tony laughed and encircled his arms around her waist- then he pecked her and while his eyes were shut, he took a deep sniff at the sweet fragrance on her body and he continued scrubbing her shoulder gently with his nose till the silky cord of her nightgown fell off her shoulder……then he moved his nostrils towards her cleavage.
“Tony stop! Time is going jor,” Debby pinched his ears.
“Auuch,” Tony opened his eyes and took his arms off her waist- then he patted her tummy, “I hope my baby is kicking?”
“Sure, he is,” Debby smiled.
Tony rushed out of the kitchen, picked his briefcase and car key from the dining table where he had dropped them and he left.
******
The 30 year old Anthony Kukoyi was trained in the US as a journalist. He was never a cub-reporter, even when his first employer in Nigeria had expected him to be. Tony would have passed well for a sleuth because, apart from been passionate about investigative journalism- he had also delivered excellently. He had a vast knowledge in public and government policies and his reportage has been around this. Especially his undiluted style of making news about some corrupt people in government. His name had become a household one in the Print Media and several awards had followed his incomparable achievements. In his four years of practicing in Nigeria, he had worked for three different News Agency and four Magazines. His employers had always come to entice him with higher pay than what a previous employer gives- he was the hotcake.
About a week to his wedding a year ago, Tony got a call from Gen. Oniovosa(Rtd). Before then, they had never met but the name rings a bell to his hearing and he knew that Oniovosa was part of the presidium of the present government. The sixty-five year old retired army general whose last active office was the NSA- had requested for Tony’s service as a ghostwriter who would help to compile his autobiography. At first it was strange to Tony and he was a bit skeptical- however he had his price and the General too was willing to pay a triple of what he was earning at the time, if he would resign and face the work squarely. They projected a year and a half to complete the book. Then, Tony discussed it with his fiancée and both unanimously gave in for the offer. And as soon as they were married, Tony suggested that his wife should stay at home as a full house wife since he earned enough to run the home. In the previous months, Tony had always traveled to meet Gen. Oniovosa in his Abuja home- he goes twice in a month and the rest of the weeks he basked in the luxury of those free days with his wife. Until a month to their wedding anniversary- that Gen. Oniovosa told Tony that he would be in Lagos for the month and they had to hasten up in completing his book. Since then, Tony had left home very early and returned late at night. His meetings with Oniovosa had become a daily one that lasts for hours at different locations that Oniovosa would give at the end of each meeting. And at no point did this change in meeting venues signal anything to him- rather he thought that it was the typical style of a retired General- especially a former NSA. And of-course, General Oniovosa’s avuncular nature gave Tony nothing to worry about. He was at liberty to relate with the General as his biological son.
***
Five minutes to 8o’clock, Tony had drove in at the parking lot of Oriental Hotel. He was unbuckling the seat-belt when his phone rang on the dashboard.
“Morning sir.”
“Tony how are you?”
“Doing great sir, I am already at the hotel.”
“Ok, good. Meet me at room 38.”
“Sure sir,” he rang off and quickly got down from his car and made a dash to the elevator.
“You are on time son,” Gen Oniovosa remarked as he opened the door, letting Tony in. “Please sit.”
“Thank you sir,” Tony nodded and he brought out his laptop from his briefcase. Tony had sometimes wondered what sort of autobiography the General was narrating for him to write. Sometimes when he sit back to edit/review what he had written, he would notice some ‘coded-like’ languages and figures and the most shocking was how General Oniovosa talked about things that was to come. This baffled him a bit and he thought to himself if he was still writing an autobiography or gathering some classified info on national security? Nevertheless, he cared less and wasn’t inquisitive. He only writes what the General says.
While Tony was reading through the last chapter- searching for typos, Gen. Oniovosa called his attention.
“Tony.”
“Sir,” he raised his head instantly.
“Yesterday, at Sheraton hotel, I told you to start a paragraph which would be the final one right?”
“Ye—s s-i-r.”
“Ok, please read it out to me.”
“Sure sir,” Tony cleared his throat, “……On the 3rd day of March 2012, I scheduled a meeting with my ghostwriter at Oriental Hotel Lagos, he was to meet me at room 38 by 8…..am….” Tony had read further with his mind beyond what he tend to be reading out and suddenly he began to listen to himself and he read more slowly.
“It’s ok,” Gen. Oniovosa cut in with a chuckle.
Tony became bemused; he couldn’t believe that he actually transcribed what he had just read. And while his mouth was still opened, Gen. Oniovosa brought out a flash-drive from the chest pocket of his brown jacket. “Tony, transfer that document into this disc and delete the file from your system. But before then let me quickly give you the last sentence to close the final chapter.”
“Yeeees sir,” Tony’s voice shivered as he collected the flash-drive.
“And, I have ordered a 20 million naira transferred into your account.”
“Oh thanks sir,” Tony breathed heavily and smiled, “Thank you very much sir,” he said again smiling.
Then Gen. Oniovosa turned his back at him and walked in the window direction with his hands crossed behind him.
“Tony, now write the last sentence,” he said as he removed his glasses and he wiped his face- and wore the glasses back.
“…..I maintained a gaze at the vista of the New Lagos…… through the window of my hotel room…….and through the same window, the sniper that has been aiming my head for the past eleven months eventually got it…..”
Then he went mute. Tony’s hands froze on his keyboard and couldn’t type a thing but was frightful watching Gen. Oniovosa. Suddenly something broke the silence, broke the window glass to hit Gen, Oniovosa’s head and he fell flat on his back.
“Generaaaaaaaaaaaal! Nooooo!!” Tony almost screamed his lungs out.
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Haaa!!!……dats all i can exclaim after reading ur story.I must confess dat i am still shocked at how it ended,its a gud story…..keep it up
@obi onyinye anne screamed “Haaa!!! I screamed, “Ahhhhh!” lol
cool going!
check
you jeep
and am not really a fan of loooonnnnng paragraphs.
Good potential. Would’ve liked to read more on the interaction between the General and Tony. Ending was very interesting. Typos got in the way, but all and all, good story.
A good story. I particularly liked the twist at the end.
However, I noticed some typos and the abscence of punctuation in some aspects.
*”“Babe *am set,” he called out to his wife”. (I’m)
*”what the sad look on his wife’s face *depicts when the duo woke up to the alarm-noise from Tony’s phone” (depicted)
*”10pm, Debby would have gone to bed before Tony returned, and leaves home very early telling his wife to suspend every gist till when he returns, and again to meet her asleep” (I find this sentence clogged up and hard to comprehend)
*she wouldn’t doubt the *much love Tony *bestows on her (much doesn’t fit in there – ‘great’ would have been better) (bestowed)
* I will go and bring a bucket of water from the bath now to *bath you here. (Bathe)
*…to entice him with higher pay than what a previous employer *gives (gave) there seems to be a lot of tense confusions in the narration – stick to the same tense
*they had never met but the name *rings a bell to his hearing (rang)
*Tony had *drove in at the parking lot of Oriental Hotel. (driven),etc
Also, it seems unclear what Gen. Oniovosa wanted to achieve with the biography – was it to unravel mysteries or ploys by govt?
Well done!
Thanks everyone. Ife thanks for the corrections- my bad. Would put extra effort on the sequel.
Good story. The first part felt a little…..unreal for me, and U could have done a bit better with the background story of their history, but not bad. Heed Ife’s comment.
Edit this, and U’ll have a gem.
wow..keep writing. i want this story to continue…i see lots of imagination and talent here
Good story. Has it ended? Who killed Gen. Oniovosa? Why was he killed? Did Tony buy the car? I think the story has just begun. Heed Ife’s comment.
Raymond thanks bruv. Jane, Success thanks a lot.
“Tony couldn’t fathom what the sad look on his wife’s face depicts when the duo woke up to the alarm-noise from Tony’s phone- kept under his pillow”
‘depicts’ should be ‘depicted’ since the story’s in past tense.
Intense story. I had a feeling something was going to happen – with the way the general wanted to bring the story to an end…but you still shocked me.
Well done!
The ending is brilliant. @petunia007, @raymond et al have mentioned all you need to do to make this a very good piece. There are questions begging to be answered, I hope the next instalment would answer them.
Good job.
Me no just know why everyone seems to like the story. The writer has wonderful imagination…but, a big but for that matter.
The first part was terrible.
Its supposed to be past tense but one would never know by what I have just read.
The saving grace for this post was the story line and that ending!
I see the potential however, I know you can do this, if you sit down and …edit.
The story is very engaging, that’s for sure. I look forward to the sequel, I hope you take some of the comments into consideration. Keep writing.
Thanks y’all! I’d make the adjustments…. Thanks again.
@femtrols, I did not understand the ending of this story. Is the General some kind of prophet who can predict how is life is going to unfold?
Also, I get the sense that he is using Tony’s book to send coded information, but to who, and why? This was also unclear.
But I actually liked the way you showed the affection between Tony and Debbie… that was a very enjoyable part of the story.
This story has potential.Just heed the previous comments.
Well done!!!