What a Police Officer Told Me

What a Police Officer Told Me

I am a minister of the gospel

I preach peace to the world

At the end of every sermon

the people willingly bring their offerings

to my feet, the anointed apostle


some brethren are too stingy

they have to be forced

to lay up treasures for themselves in heaven

by taking care of the less-privileged


Long vehicles are backsliders

I do not preach peace to them

so they do not stop to drop their offerings

I think there is wisdom in that

For a man has to be alive

if he must be chief priest over the offerings


Logs of wood are tired of staying in the forest

I listen to their complaints and come to their rescue

I help them come to the road for comfort;

and, brethren understand the scriptures so well:

the gift of a man makes a way for him…


Do not abuse my addiction to the green naira note

The first visitor that came to my cot

offered it to my mother as a gift

I fell in love with that colour

because it means fertility and productivity


I want people to fight for their rights

but they will not bother to know their rights

if I do not create the opportunity for them to do so

they gain good knowledge of the constitution

just to defend themselves at my lawful duty post


The people that die in spite of my preaching

choose to die because they do not have a future here

they would not have disobeyed my warning

not to embrace eternal life



I am a minister of the gospel

I preach peace to all men

And at the end of my message

I reap the good fruit of my toil

Let men allow me to labour in peace…


32 thoughts on “What a Police Officer Told Me” by Onyeka Dike (@onyekadike)

  1. hehehe……cool poem bro

  2. Man this is pretty cool. I was a bit confused first time I read it but it all made sense on the second read.

    Keep preaching the gospel of naira notes!!!


    1. Tosyn, thanks for reading it a second time; for not just glossing over it. Your comment means so much to me.

  3. You have officially become one of my favourite poets around.

    Nice work man!

    1. Chemo, I am very much flattered. My dream is to get to the level of Ojaide, Peters, Brutus, etc. I hope you would still be reading by then…

  4. Abi o. Man must whack.
    Nice poem.

  5. Hmmm.

    Nice. Nice.

    I like the characterization. Who would have thought…if not for the title…?

  6. Hahaha! Nice one…

  7. “Logs of wood are tired of staying in the forest…”
    I’m having issues understanding how that line relates to the whole piece. Nice poem though, well done…

    1. I think it has to do with the road blocks policemen station on the roads using logs of wood.

      1. Gooseberry, thanks focoming to the rescue. @Scopeman: Dont you think those logs of wood find their meaning on our roads?

  8. I like the title

  9. This poem is so good and easy with style. The title also is apt; it is the head of the true story of the poem.

  10. I thought the idea of describing a police officer’s cheque-point activity as a religious ministry was very amusing, but it didn’t quite work. Preaching the gospel of ‘donate money to me’ is not quite the same as most other religious messages of salvation.

    1. Tola, hope you do not mean to take the preacher’s pulpit away from him?

        1. Please don’t. Nigeria still needs hm, you know.

  11. Very nice poem, you sure got the message across rightly

  12. I love this!

  13. Nice poem, simple and compact

  14. I like this bcos of its uniqueness, and its originality. Great work! Love the angle!

  15. I guess the preacher gotta do what he gotta do huh???
    Nice poem by the way!

  16. A novel approach surely.

    1. Myne, getting your comment o any of my posts both flatters and humbles me. We go reach there some day…

  17. Nice easy poem with a unique angle to boot.

    Well done!!!

    1. @Opeyemi: thanks

  18. Humor. I see it plentiful. Ironic Humor, that is. U put this across well. My only worry – are u decked in “black’ robes?

    1. @Shai: The outer robe is black; the inner robe is white, sparkling white!

  19. where’s the like button? nice one

    1. @Stelzz: The like button is in that your beautiful face. I feel it. Thanks for gracing my check-point with your beautiful face.

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