Fire

Fire

Fire!” Sarah screamed
For a while, I couldn’t grasp the meaning of what she had said. The reality of what was happening eluded me. I had become unconscious for too long to be able to adjust to the complex blend of devastation and chaos that had engulfed the whole building. I rubbed my eyes dreamily and staggered to my feet. Now, I could feel the heat, but it was also not real. I sensed it, but as another vague, yet painful plague from my dreamy world. I felt dizzy and my head throbbed. I felt a thousand ants were biting me in a thousand different places. Somewhere in the depth of my mind, I still remembered the bottle of squadron dark rum that had accompanied me into this place. Now, I could remember that earlier on, I had been taking large swigs of alcohol from the bottle, gulping its warm content down my greedy throat till I drifted into the deep abyss of drunken stupor. But now, where was it?
“Where is my rum?” I grumbled, grasping the sofa with my right hand to prevent an imminent downward descent.
“Greg, what the hell are you saying? Are you crazy?” I heard Chris scream at me. But his voice felt like echoes from another planet.
“Hey buddy, I need to get my bloody rum!” I yelled at him, while groping around with one hand, looking for my precious rum, while my eyes remained half closed. But the ants would not allow me, they bit, stung and clawed at me without mercy, dipping their ferocious, deadly fangs into my tender flesh. It seemed their number had tripled this time. I removed my hand from their claws instantly and gnashed my teeth at the immense pain they had caused me.
I opened my eyes. At first, I thought it was still part of my dreamy plague. I stood erect for a while, staring wide eyed and wide mouthed at the raging inferno around me. Then, reality dawned on me. The pain that had been plaguing me was not from ants, but from the heat of the ferocious fire that was conflagrating the whole building with merciless fury. And there I was, trapped in the middle of it
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed.I had been trapped here by my own foolishness and now, it seemed there was no way out.
“Oh God Help me!” I muttered.

There were voices, far away; people screaming and crying, and it seemed there was no way out. I started blaming myself. I shouldn’t have gone on a drinking spree and forgotten myself here, I should have woken up from my deep drunken stupor when there was still chance and my friends could have saved me, perhaps I shouldn’t have come to this party at all. Now, all I could do was regret and ask God to forgive me my sins. Now, all I could see as the inferno threatened to consume me was my dead body, burnt beyond recognition, and my mom and sisters crying at my burial ceremony.
“Oh God, how could I do this to mom, it will be too hard for her to bear.”

I started crying. And then, outside, someone was saying; “Greg is still in there.” And someone else saying; “He would be dead by now.”
Intense lights flashed across my yes, blinding me in their ferocious rage. Vicious yellow flames leapt at me and terrorized me, the heat stung at my skin and the smoke smothered me, making breathing difficult. And, in the midst of it, I was alone.
Suddenly, I felt cold water on my body, and then I heard someone say; “there he is.” Then, I felt myself being lifted by a pair of hands.



6 thoughts on “Fire” by petersunday (@petersunday)

  1. The beginning was smooth but I got lost towards the end of the narration. You did not specify what led you to the scene of fire in the first place, whether you had something on your mind that made you decide to go on a “drinking spree” and some other things. In all, this write-up has got potentials.

  2. Beautiful. Absolutely wonderful. The imagery; the telling of the story; punctuation and flow, were all awesome.

    Nice Job!!!

  3. I felt that the narrative had too many descriptions for an action sequence, especially at the beginning, but this was well written, @petersunday.

  4. I ditto Tola.

    All the way.

    Good job.

  5. This was so good.
    But the story would have had more umff if you had died at the end or if you had left us guessing.

  6. This is a flash fiction and it must feel like one. the pace wasnt there, for me, and it didnt end with that flash feeling. this can be better with some tweaks here and there. Also, what’s the difference between these two sentences: ‘For a while, I couldn’t grasp the meaning of what she had said. The reality of what was happening eluded me.’ *shrugs* One of the two would have been ok, cos using the two together reminds me of a cartoon character trying to kill a rat with a shotgun!

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