The Dare – My Brother And I

The Dare – My Brother And I

As a boy I’ve always behaved

Even though my brother tells me I am a girl

And should at all times act as one

I’ve always believed (a misconception maybe)

That what a man can do

A woman is sure able to do; if not better

Hence, a dare ensued

He tried stunts and did some funny stuff

Ranging from stripping to peeing

I did them all but one

…Couldn’t pee in a bottle without spilling any!

 



16 thoughts on “The Dare – My Brother And I” by joy1 (@joy1)

  1. LMAO!!!!!!!

    WOW…That last line is classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Well done. Well done.

  2. Joy, this your poem,e… You couldn’t pee in a bottle without spilling any,eh? Try again. Yes, you can!

    But, this your poem is too rushed.

    1. hmm, really? We need evidence to be tendered :)

  3. Beautiful! But I second Eletrika, it still reads like a first draft.

  4. @Eletrika and @Chemo. This dare actually happened on Sunday so I kind of typed as it flowed through my mind and immediately uploaded before I developed a cold feet… Will carry out the needed adjustments. @Seun-Odukoya, Thanks. I still laugh every time I remember ever doing any of those stuff.

  5. I love this poem! It looks very simple at the surface level. Just like Oswald mtshali’s ‘A boy in a swing’. While i went through it, i tried to ascribe some hidden meanings to it. Can we see it from the view of feminism, women emancipation, gender (in)equality? Then what would peeing into a bottle signify? Let me think, cos in the literal sense i dont think women can do it without spilling some or can u?

    1. Thanks for liking it and being an eye opener to the hidden meanings of it.

  6. This is funny. @joy, you know, some girls can. Maybe you should practice it so you can show them guys(your bro) that you can. Lol. Nice short poem. Thought it was prose until i opened it.

    1. @gooseberry, tried it severally and reached same result. E no easy oh. The stress of holding the bottle in place alone, not to talk of positioning your thing!… try it out if you’re a girl.

  7. Ha! This is an award winner.
    Accept these points from the free spirit.

    1. @Kaycee, thanks elder. This means so much to me. At last I got you to like my work (heaving a sigh of relief). Phew!

  8. Lol. I was expecting it to be prose too but the poem did well to tell the story. The last line was good; classic ending. The first line though needs to be re-written. ‘As a boy I’ve always behaved’, I actually thought you were going to tell us about how you’ve been good as a boy. I think you need to rephrase it. Good though!

    1. @Stelzz, I will try and do justice to that. Thanks for the comment.

  9. While I believe that the poem is good or rather has the spirit of goodness showing on it, we still haven’t gotten that yet. I think you can and should consider developing this into a short story…Hm, so it is a true story? Hmm, na wa o! I no wan laugh…
    In all, I think this poem at this point only has promise that would be realised after a rework…You might also want to rework the first line…the line twist doesn’t really work, for me. It is brilliant that you are being novel but beauty and meaning should not be sacrificed for novelty…Just my thoughts.
    Well done Joy1…walahi, your added notes ma na worry! You sure seem an open person and not so girly from the added comments…:) It’s all good. Don’t worry, we be guys…you don’t need to prove it. S’

  10. There are many things one gender can do that the other can’t. The use of your analogy to point out this difference is niftily done.

  11. Wow, this is terrific, beautiful lines..even though short, its lines tell a lot of story

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