The Prayer Warrior

The Prayer Warrior

Kola went round the house again checking all the doors and windows, making double sure they were locked and barricaded. The single candle which was three inches in diameter burnt brightly, casting its light into every corner of the one room apartment. It was a special one, given to her by The Shepherd; one that wasn’t made of wax and thus never burnt out.

Guard your hearts for out of it flows life.

Outside, she could hear the Darklins sloshing around, looking for any Unguard to devour. She’d heard a scream some twenty minutes ago, poor soul. The recent downpour had caused a flood in Lagos; about three feet of murky brown water covered most parts of Lagos making it almost impossible for the darklins to come unawares. Still, she had to be alert. Kola didn’t know why The Shepherd chose to save her but she was grateful, for while she was still an unguard, she had seen many of her friends tortured and devoured by the darklins. She felt it was only a matter of time before she was caught and made to suffer the same fate. In fact, she had looked forward to it. What was the use of staying alive in freedom when you were forced to be a lust slave to other unguards. Sometimes, she even had to service the darklins, repressing her conscience and the deep repulsion she felt as they violated her through intense and painful masturbation. No, life was certainly not worth living. But the Shepherd still came and saved her.

She remembered Sly, the only person that had given her any sort of joy. Sweet Sly, the young okada man who took her to and from hotels, motels and sometimes, the houses of some of her couldn’t-care-less clients. Sly who didn’t seem to care that she made a living from satisfying the passion of the lust intoxicated men; who didn’t seem surprised that she had also serviced one or three women. She was interrupted from her reverie as a darklin banged hard on the door rattling the bolts, shaking the door frame and causing little clouds of ‘sawdust’ to erupt from the woodworks. She instinctively got ready to clasp her palms in the battle stance of shepherd souljahs but after about a minute concluded that there was no threat. The cursed darklins just won’t give up. In the morning they would be gone, hidden within human bodies, inspiring and perpetuating wickedness among the living. Only The Shepherd and those he chose had the gifts to discern the presence of the darklins lurking within human bodies.

Beware of wolves in sheep clothing.      

Life had been one sad event after the other for her. The Father-shepherd had a reason for everything that happened under the sun. She’d come to understand this. But nothing she’d gone through had surprised her as Sly did. Not when her father died from a heart attack while trying to rape her; not when her brother and only sibling was shot and killed in a high way armed robbery attempt; not even when she found out her mother had been alive all along, selling second hand teddy bears on the streets in the day time, her body in the night. None of this compared to what she witnessed the night she made love to Sly.

It was one of those days when it showered incessantly. She had slept all through the day and when she came out at dusk, there was a light shower and a cool breeze blowing. Kola stood in the electric halogen glow of the street light, enjoying the breeze as it played fleetingly between her thighs. Cars drove by and when anyone stopped, it was a female or a young blood that came out, looked her over and headed home …or wherever it was they were headed. She remembered thinking that the cool breeze and the hue of the street light made the evening seem heavenly if there was anything like that. Just then, Sly arrived revving the 250cc engine of the power bike he used to ‘husso’.

Suddenly, the door exploded into a million pieces, the rushing wind and two darklins. Kola leapt backwards, clasping her hands in the prayer position screaming out the Shepherd Name, all in mid-air.

“JESUS!” she yelled. A splash of electric blue ethereal light spilt out from between her palms and as she separated them, they solidified into shiny machetes in each hand. There was limited space to maneuver but it would do. She looked at a far corner of the room, in between the two darklins so that she could keep them both in vision. She didn’t have to decide what to do; they helped her. The darklin on her right made the first move. Moving unbelievably fast for a creature crouching, the darklin attacked with shadow-black talons and fangs bared. Kola lunged towards it on a head-on path and at the last moment swerved on fleet feet to the right. All in the same motion she took a short vicious swipe with the glowing machete in her left hand. The darklin, still hurtling in the path of his trajectory, couldn’t dodge fast enough. It let out an enraged hiss that could have been a scream and came undone as the machete sliced through it’s wrist with the ease of knife through butter before sending his head bursting into air.

drive them away like smoke before the wind, O God of Abraham.

She felt a gush of air behind her. The other darklin had moved at the same time, aiming to cut her off as she attacked its mate. Her swerve to the right had delayed its intent while the change of momentum resulting from her left hand strike made it miss its mark by a hair’s breath. She didn’t have time to settle before diving towards the center of the room, dodging the darklins second attack. She got back on her feet, swiveling at the same time to face the darklin. She was thrown off balance as the darklin seemed to have disappeared. She saw it out of the corner of her eye crouching in the corner of the ceiling. A flash of Spider Man came to mind. Didn’t the oyinbo super-hero have an enemy called Venom?

Meanwhile, the darklin was succeeding in staying out of the reach of her machetes. There was no compromising contact with them. Already the mission was botched as it would take two darklins to begin to influence the mind of someone who had knowledge of the Shepherd and the blood like this human. But then it would not die without planting a seed, at least. As it shot at her back, Kola collapsed as if her knees had been knocked out from beneath her. The darkling could already taste victory. It would take munchy bites of her faith before she killed it. Hopefully another darklin will spot her soon and continue to attack, weakening her resolve until she gave in. but alas, the human was fast. It was a trap that worked as Kola lay on her back and threw one of the infernal machetes at the descending darklin!

**********************************

Kola closed the bible app on her Nokia phone and sighed deeply as the stirring in her loins died out like a candle in a gush of wind. The fuel attendant’s smile had reminded her so much of the way Sly had smiled that night. She started the car and continued her journey to the orphanage she now ran. She’d had to park and attend to her flesh calling for attention. The church had been very helpful in setting the orphanage and members had agreed to help her teach the children. They taught them any and every useful thing that was pure, righteous and beautiful; from academics to hand crafts. She could not avoid going back to her struggles with sex addiction which had followed her death to the life of a prostitute and preceding rebirth. She wasn’t ready to leave the haven of the body of Christ and so did not take any wiles of the devil lightly; she attacked swiftly with the double edged sword of the Word of God; for even the seed of the shadows of doubt in the mind of the reborn was valuable to the dark Overlord. Doubts could grow, if undetected, and cause a breach, an opening for the ever roaming, roaring darklins to attack.

Fight the good fight of faith!

 

 

 



31 thoughts on “The Prayer Warrior” by neo-lite (@markwealth)

  1. I liked the supernatural angle to this, you know fighting the good fight of faith. However, I think the action sequence could’ve been tightened to make it more tense as well as realistic.

    Also, the story seems disjointed, first she’s in the house, then she’s driving to the orpahange. The falshback to Sly and his visit is also inconclusive, what happened?

    Should I hope for a part 2?

  2. It’s…well…confusing.

    Beautiful premise. I like your fight scene…you know these things.

    Try and make the story more jointed. It’s kinda scattered.

    Nice.

  3. Interesting way of portraying the fight of faith.
    I like it. Note what Myne and Seun said

  4. i kinda like but…itz…well, they have noted them…

  5. @Myne, long time. The first part of the story viz, Kola in a room was meant to be her spiritual disposition (for want of a better word), it’s meant to show her spiritual state as she prays (in her car after leaving the petrol station). we can’t actually see the spirits or demons (darklins) of fornication and other vices. you can therefore say i started from the middle of the story after she had been reminded of Sly’s seductive smile by the fuel attendant’s smile. After she had defeated the strong feelings of lust which the memory of the smile triggered, she continued driving. Notwithstanding, your point has been noted and I’ll try and make it a little bit more obvious (though I want readers to think.). Yeah I’ll like to continue the story but I’m used to writing what I’m coming to call “snatches” which are short stories that are built to make people wonder at what might have happened before and after the story/incident. I’m planning to make a compendum of these “snatches” into an e book and I’ll honestly need your help hence my posting these in Naija stories.

  6. @ Lade, Seun and Adaobi, noted. but read my comment and tell me if you still see it as disjointed. thanx y’all.

    1. @neo-lite, ur explanation is ok…
      probz this, would u have to go to evryone’s home or wherever to explain them?
      many ppl write in ‘snatches’ but, the finesse is that the readers understand it without the author wanting to make them ‘think’.
      if it is ok 2 u…well, keep writing…

      1. Ada…I rest my case.

        1. Hey Seun, have u read Telephone Conversation by Wole Soyinka? We studied it in school, twas written to make us think cos that’s when our power of imagination is stimulated. I personally look fwd to artistic pieces that make me think. ’tis not a crime is it?

          1. Whoever said it was?

            1. ok o. no vex.

  7. i like…..i really like..a good way to explain a fight of good and evil in the subconscious spirit realm…
    as i said…..i like

    keep writing

  8. This was engaging… it somewhat inspired me to bring out my machetes and take out some darklins… ver unique angle to a religious story.
    all the flaws have been pointed out. well done!

    1. thanx Tolu. got some others I’ll share.

  9. I like the story, and I could guess early on that it was supposed to be like a metaphor.

    However, from the third sentence, where you have that break and bring it back to earth, you lost me. After that sentence where the fuel attendant’s smile reminds her of Sly, it reads too much like a sermon. I understand that there’s a message you’re trying to pass (an important one, and one that I agree with; I am a Christian) but I think that second bit could have done with a bit more subtlety. You want to appeal to people who share your faith without alienating those who don’t. I guess it would also depend on your audience as well.

    Again, I like the story, though I’m not necessarily an action fan. It’s very well written.

    1. thanx for ‘gettin it’ Uche. I’ll take note of yr observation next time.

  10. A first. The supernatural angle, i mean. Only wish i could see the day when my prayers would turn to swords and chop my enemies into shreds. Guess then, i’d become a pastor. Nice angle again. You had me taken.

    1. thanx, Focus. thing is, your prayers actually activate angels (with fiery swords) who chop into shreds the demons responsible for making your enemies your enemies.

  11. reminds me of frank peretti

    I personally read fiction for pleasure and so would have better enjoyed it as a flowing prose. I’m aware some people like works that make them think and this should appeal to them

    1. Osakwe, you’re right. I’m just about to finish my first Peretti novel, Piercing the darkness and I’m like, really, no idea is original. have you seen sucker punch? almost the same concept. If I hadn’t written this before I read Peretti’s novel, I probably wouldn’t have bothered writing stuff like this (I’m currently working another story like this.)

  12. I echo Myne’s view on this.

    1. Myne’s view is now mine boss. thanx. i’ll try and better this in my next story.

  13. Hmm…
    First off, I like the style a,d the story, and what U set out to do. Execution though….Not bad, but could’ve been better.

    U don’t ‘swerve’. Only cars do so. In a fight, U dodge, duck, side-step, bob, weave etc…

    The fight scene could’ve been milked better, but that’s just me.

    U’ve heard what they all said. Good work.

    1. dude, “swerve” is somewhere in the “etc…” in your comment. don’t sweat the small stuff…and i could have sworn you only “READ” written words, not ‘hear’ them. thanx, boss.

      1. Hehehe. Now who’s sweating the small stuff? No wahala. Na U get tori.

        1. lol. Ray- Ray. yeah, got you didn’t I? wanted to tick u off. almost didn’t see it. thanx all the same bruv.

  14. What a prayer warrior
    a good try
    keep on
    want to read more…

    1. thanx “I-no-send”. more coming up.

  15. How did I miss this? Good work.
    But you certainly didn’t make the work thought provoking, as was your intent.

    1. Thanx boss. wow. can’t please everybody can u? some thought it was “too” thot provoking. you on the other hand… Still thanx Kaycee. I ‘ll try make a better attempt in subsequent works.

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