SPLIT

Like A Lady

Before my detached umbilical cord
Found its final resting place
Before it eventually dawned on me
That my brother’s pee-pee
Looked a whole lot different from mine
Mama made me realize
That only the best is expected of me
She would often say
Darling please…Act like a lady!

Don’t slouch, sit straight
Elbows off the table
Don’t heap your plate
A little of everything
Don’t reach across the table
Chew with your mouth closed
Don’t talk with your mouth full
Sip your drink, don’t slurp
Burp inside your napkin
Darling please…Eat like a lady!

Walk straight and tall
Don’t drag your feet
Move your arms, they are not sticks
One foot in front of the other
Shoulders back, chest out
Hold your tummy in
Swing your hips, they are flexible
Darling please…Walk like a lady!

I took mama’s words to heart
The best way to do anything
Is to do it like a lady
So I went out there
And broke the school record
Today when I am called up
To give the Valedictory speech
For the graduating class of 2011
I will walk down that aisle
Head held high
Shoulders back and chest out
One foot in front of the other
Moving my arms that are not sticks
Swinging what my mama gave me
I will take that microphone
Look the audience in the face
And as a tribute to mama
I will speak like a lady


30 thoughts on “Like A Lady” by Rhema (@rhema)

  1. Like a lady.

    Hmm…i don’t know about that ‘chest out’ part o…isn’t it notable to note that due to advice of a similar nature or simply a desire born out of a hurry to grow breasts quickly…a lot of said ladies end up looking like an ‘S’ curve?

    Nice one. Like a lady.

    1. lol at “S curve”.
      Seun, don’t be making fun of people with disabilities. Must be something to do with their spinal cord.

      Glad you like it.

      1. I don’t o. I was raised and reared tenderly…and even though the ‘harsh realities’ of life changed me somewhat…it just couldn’t take some things away from me.

        Respecting…accepting…appreciating all kinds of people is one…

  2. Nice one, lady…

    1. Thank you, sir!

  3. Beautiful Rhema! LOL,I too,when I speak to my daughters,say “sit like a lady” or “a lady doesn’t do this”….In Miami we say “shake what your mama gave you”…

    1. You must be one awesome mama!

      Ditto on “shake what your mama gave you”. I only gave it a slight twist to go with the “swing” in the third stanza.

      Thanks, Jef.

  4. So lovely… the beginning was captivating, and you ended with a well taught lesson…

    1. Thanks for the positive feedback, Idoko.

  5. And the lady made her mama proud…..

    Enjoyed reading this.

    Well done!!!

    1. Yes, she did!

      Thank you.

  6. Our mothers are the best, but we also live and learn in order to be people of our own, ladies or not. Nice poem.

    1. Thanks, Myne.
      I agree with you: people of our own, complete in ourselves, inferior to none.

  7. Myne took the words outta my mouth… Nice job, Rhema.

    1. Thanks, grayshores.
      Glad you like it.

  8. Nice one….do it like a lady..act like a lady

    1. Lady Chetachi! ;-) …’nuff said.

  9. Okies Rhema…..the double spaces in between each word made me think of binary numbers. Don’t know why. The poem good though.

    1. Blaise, now that you mention it, I never realized there were double spaces. It wasn’t intentional.
      I wonder what’s up with that. lol

      Thanks.

  10. Nice one, I sat up straighter at my pc o! well done.

  11. Hehehehehehehe…I go all crazy when I see stuff like this. Now, this is one helluva of a piece and it been a didactic poem to boot.

    U know, I almost feel like being there when the MC does all of those things her mama taught her!!! I wonder how she is going to deliver it (is it going to be nice and proper or a very hilarious showcase of robotic movements).

    Well, I can only wish- because u painted those pictures in my head with ur words.

    Thank you…U made my day.

    1. Nice and proper, of course. Her mama taught her well.

      Eherm….. are those pictures still in your head? Take two tablespoonfuls
      of palm-oil to clear your head. :-)

      Thanks. Good to know that I added to your day.

  12. You wrote this like a true lady. I like pronouncing ‘lady’ ‘lie-dy’. Got that from watching Mary Poppins too much.

    I love the poem. Nice message, well told. I like girls who have a little bit of ‘tomboyness’ in them shah. Too much of a lady, nah.

    Simple, sweet and sexy poem.

  13. Hi Jay,

    It’s great to have you back.

    LOL @ “tomboyness”.

  14. No b small tin. Like a lady.

  15. I loved the lines. Really nice poem u’ve gat here.

  16. Waoh! You just made my day with this. I swear that I went gaga over the piece.
    What a beautiful and entertaining piece. You killed it!
    Thumbs up @rhema .

  17. Many thanks @lactoo and @dr2103.
    I appreciate your support.

  18. It’s been a while, NS
    I almost didn’t recognize you.
    You look real nice…like a classy lady :)
    The changes are quite becoming
    Well done @Admin
    Hi everyone!

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