‘What happened?’ He asks.
‘Do you want to know what happened or how it happened?’ She replies.
‘I just want to know what happened.’
‘Ok then. I will tell you what happened. I will even tell you how it happened for good measure’
‘I’m all ears’
‘You sent me a friend request on facebook and I accepted it. Then there was a message from you to greet my mom. Yes, you’ve met my mom a while back and she told you about me, that was why you sent the friend request. Anyway, I replied telling you that I’d do just that. Then there was silence from your own end for a very long time…except for when you requested a link to download Andreas Boccelli ‘Conte Partiro’ audio.’
‘So, for a very long time, you didn’t contact me or anything. Then suddenly, out of the blues, you sent me a message again on facebook. Said you’d like to meet me sometime and chat and that I should contact you with **your digits**.’
‘And instead of doing just that, you gave me yours as well right?’
‘I wanted you to make the first move. Anyway, you called me and we spoke for a very long time on the phone. Next I knew, you started calling me like every day.’
‘Can you swear you did not enjoy the conversations we had?’
‘I didn’t exactly say that. I did enjoy the conversations and I might have even looked forward to it.’
‘Hah! I knew it!’
‘But that’s beside the point. Anyway, I was a bit uncomfortable when you started acting like we’d known each other for ages. Even when you said things like, and I quote, “We are compatible”, “I really like you”, “I could talk with you the whole day and not get bored”. Then you started sending those text messages. Actually, that’s the part I miss most….your text messages’
‘Yes. Well, I’ve never met someone who could text as much as you did.’
‘Ok, so keep going’
‘Well, you finally came to see me after postponing it for a very long time. The first meeting was brief but interesting. I summed you up as ‘carefree’ the first time I laid eyes on you, which I told you.’
‘What I didn’t tell you was that I knew it from that day, that this was going to end badly.’
‘Yes. I like you as a friend. I still do. But the thing is, I knew we could never have anything more than friendship. I also knew that it would only be a matter of time before you demanded for more than just friendship.’
‘But I didn’t exactly….’
‘No you didn’t. But then you dropped hints, loads of hints which I conveniently ignored’
‘What kind of hints?’
‘You started calling me ‘my love’, you’d refer to yourself as my boyfriend’ then you started demanding for a kiss. Actually the whole kiss business started from the very first day you spoke to me.
‘But you didn’t complain about it’
‘I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Plus, I knew you were just joking with it’
‘You were wrong’, he says in a low voice
There was a short silence.
‘Anyway’ she says ‘we met briefly before you travelled. I saw you off at the airport where you bought a book for me. We kept in touch throughout your stay there and then you came back. That was when the slide began’
‘You told me you were a bit vulgar before you left but it was like the whole thing intensified upon your arrival. You started demanding for ‘that’ kiss even more than before. Then, you came to see me again…briefly’
‘We sat down and talked for a while’
‘Yes…a short while. I remember you mentioned that kiss for like three times before you left. I’d only seen you like twice and you wanted a kiss. Gees! I didn’t even know anything about you! We set a date for Friday. I wanted to go get drunk for the first time that Friday.’
‘hah! Like I’m supposed to believe you’ve never been drunk in your whole life!’
Another short silence.
‘I haven’t’ she says and he laughs.
‘Anyway, you stood me up on that Friday. Switched off your phone, and then managed to send me a text message much later in the day, saying that it wasn’t working out because we have nothing in common.’
‘Yes. You told me you were old fashioned. Plus you also said I was not your boyfriend.’
‘I can’t recall you asking me to be your girlfriend. If you had just openly requested for that, maybe you’d have understood my reasons for not wanting a boyfriend just yet. I mean, we are both adults. Maybe we’d even still be friends now.’
He says nothing.
‘So now you know why I replied the way I did, telling you that I wasn’t even aware we were into anything not to talk of ‘IT’ not working out.’
He laughs for some time. A low mocking laugh.
‘I don’t think I want to know why you don’t want a boyfriend now. I just have one question for you.’
‘Are you still old fashioned?’
‘Arrrrrrrgh! Why am I having this conversation with you?! It’s so pointless!’