Treasure in Kaduna-1

Treasure in Kaduna-1

It was a beautiful cloudy evening. The sun was just beginning to set. He was grateful to have made it home after a hectic day in school. Being a full time student of the post graduate school of the University of Lagos could be herculean. Lectures are almost on a daily basis with lots of assignments and presentations to attend to. So he got back home that day very tired and worn-out.

On his way home, he had stopped over at a cyber cafe to source for materials regarding his upcoming presentation. While there, he decided to check his e-mail box, to find out if there was some good news regarding his job searches because he was also job hunting as well as studying, but instead, he came across a rather strange mail from a curious name.

A mail from one Ibrahim Musa which came along with it, an attachment. When he opened the attachment, the content unnerved him to say the least. Why would a certain Ibrahim Musa, a fellow he never knew from Adam send him a mail with the picture of a beautiful damsel and to make it even more curious, no corresponding notes? Was this some sort of a scam? He thought. He decided to regard the mail as spam and as a result delete it, but on a second thought, he didn’t.

Few moments after he got home that evening, his phone rang. It was Aunt Ijeoma. He excitedly answered the call. It’s being quite a while he heard from her. After exchanging pleasantries and doing all the catching up that needed to be done.

As if forgetting something, Aunt Ijeoma suddenly mentioned, “Obinna, I finally sent you the picture of that friend of mine I told you about when I visited Lagos over a month ago. I couldn’t find time to do it myself so I asked a colleague of mine to do it on my behalf”. She said.

“I saw a mail from one Ibrahim Musa this evening”. Was that from you? I asked. Her reply was in the affirmative. I already like her, I said.

“Very well then, I will give her a call to find out what she thinks and then get back to you,” she assured.

Aunt Ijeoma has been Obinna’s special Aunt among several others. They’ve been best of pals right from childhood. Over the years, they’ve always had each other’s back.

Finally, after a few days, Obinna receives a text on his mobile. It was from Aunt Ijeoma and it reads, “I called her and here’s her number and guess what? She happens to be in Lagos for a few days to undertake an exam. From now on, you’re on your own on this matter. Cheers”.

After reading through the text message, he impulsively takes out his phone and begins to dial the number but then his ‘liver’ begins to fail him. He begins to wonder how this lady he has never met is already having such an effect on him. The whole situation is becoming quite intriguing, he muses. Nevertheless, he summons courage and places a call to her line.

“Please am I speaking with Ebele?” he asks.

Yes you certainly are, came the response…



31 thoughts on “Treasure in Kaduna-1” by Igwe (@igweaj)

  1. okay, waiting to see what happens to our man… jobless student and now a strange woman? hope he doesn’t fall into a ditch

    1. I can wait to see what happens too. Thanks for reading Xikay. You will soon find out…

  2. I hope so too. Thanks for reading.

  3. Nice. Waiting for more.

    1. Thanks for reading Raymond

  4. Good start. Waiting to see what happens.

    Watch out for tense confusion, though…

    1. Tense confusion? Will work on it. Thanks for the observation and thanks for reading.

  5. i can’t wait to see what happens next….oya,serve the food before i lose my appetite.lol.great work bro.

    1. Thanks Uche.

  6. u just stole my icecream, pls give it back ASAP. I CANT WAIT

    1. Sorry about that,lol. Coming soon. Thanks for reading.

  7. Ahh…romance is sweet! Waiting for the next part.

    1. Thanks for reading. Next part coming soon.

  8. Interesting read! very interesting stuff Igwe but coupla things and tenses I had a problem with like;
    …beautiful cloudy day??? how about beautiful sunny or bright day
    … It’s being quite a while he heard from her. Should be Its been quite a …
    …Finally, after a few days, Obinna receives a text on his mobile, should be Obinna received a text
    …It was from Aunt Ijeoma and it reads…how about ‘It was from aunt Ijeome and it read…’
    …number but then his ‘liver’ begins to fail him…how about ‘after dialing the number, he panicked or he got nervous’ these are just my thoughts.
    Nice story though but…

    1. Thanks a lot Chetachi for reading. All observations gratefully noted.

  9. Nice story,but you need to do some more editing in your next attempt at continuing this story.
    You started the story in the third person narrative, then slipped to the second person narrative. If this was intentional, then you could be a bit more subtle with it, if not then you need to guard against the slip.

  10. Thanks Abbey for the observation. I have already taken note of that. It was a slip. Thanks for reading.

  11. all the errors have been pointed out already, nice start..waiting to see how it goes

    1. Thanks for reading febby.

  12. Needs a lot of work.

    1. Sure I know that. I”m a work in progress. Thanks for reading.

  13. This is just a teaser I guess
    I am so off to read the next part.

  14. This is a good read. However you are mixing up your POV styles. You need to pick one and stick with it, either first person or third person. Also needs some work to tighten the dialogue and narrative.

    1. I appreciate your comments. Thanks for reading.

  15. Punctuation issues…

    Note all the other notes….

    Plus…i read it from the back. Not bad.

    Try harder.

    1. Thanks for reading Seun but don’t you think your comments are rather unnecessary and unwarranted, considering the fact that the isues you raised above have been addressed already by other members, if truly you read the story from the back like you mentioned.
      I think it’s important we ‘re constructive in our comments rather that trying to score CHEAP points.

    2. Thanks for reading Seun but don’t you think your comments are rather unnecessary and unwarranted, considering the fact that the isues you raised above have been addressed already by other members, if truly you read the story from the back like you mentioned.
      I think it’s important we ‘re constructive in our comments rather than trying to score CHEAP points.

      1. As i no go school Oga, could you please define ‘unnecessary’ and ‘unwarranted’…if you were not so blinded by anger you would see that i pointed out for you to note all other notes..and i did read it from the back.

        If you had any idea why am i here you would know ‘scoring cheap points’ is the least of my interests.

        Note. I could very well not say anything on any note and still have them points rolling in…if i needed them anyway.

        Pay attention sir. Take correction and don’t be misguided by conceit. Pele.

  16. And uncle…when i said ‘i reas it from the back’ i was referring to the fact that i read part three first, and then part two…and then this one.

    Pay Attention!!! lol.

  17. excellent rendition……………

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