Tonight was the night! No dulling it. I wouldn’t miss it for the world…beacause even the world would be watching anyways. I always got dramatic when those Barca boys had a match to play as it was never a moment to miss. I dashed off to Haruna’s where I was sure a crowd would be watching the Finals with a company of bottles amidst pointless shouts and rants. Haruna’s shop wasn’t only the best for barbing but a meeting point for conc. soccer fanatics cum area boys which was my motivation this particular night. The arguments were always fun when only the mouths were talking and not bottles on heads.
In 15 minutes I was there but…Damn! All seats taken. Nonsense!
Aha!…Lightbulb…That lovely revolving chair in front of the small TV was my only craving. It never happens just like that and it was the best spot if I wanted to enjoy the game.
I walked in through the sliding glass door and hailed my goons in their Barca regalia. I was thrilled by the hearty cheers in response but that didn’t earn me the seat anyways.
I immediately beckoned to Haruna for a haircut which in no time got me sitting not just in the comfy furniture but directly in front of the blessing called a TV. I had been grooming my Afro for months now and a trim wouldn’t hurt at least to get me the hot-seat for the next 60 mins left in the game.
“ZZZWOOOOOOMMMMMM…” the hum of his blade began.
Both eyes glued on the TV as we watched Messi our striker dazzle the opponents mercilessly with graceful step-overs. He feinted as if to pass the ball to the left…BUT! …Oh my! In a flash, Marvelous Messi brought it back with his instep to the right, the opponent sliding away in a disgraceful manner on thick grass.
“ZZZWOOOOOOMMMMM…” the blade hummed aimlessly above my head as Haruna was lost in amazement.
We all burst out in applause and the moment of truth came as Messi pulled off an impossible shot in front of the goal. It sailed past the 1st defender…2nd…3rd…and the goalkeeper…and….
“ZZWEEUM!” Haruna ripped off a large chunk of my hair.
GOOOALLLLLL! The whole barber shop was in uproar.
I screamed my epiglottis out! But their shout of victory drowned my shout of despair.
Months of Afro grooming gone in seconds!
I looked furiously at Haruna screaming. The idiot screamed back joyfully giving me a bear hug.
I was mad! I sat back in to the chair and broke into tears…my beauty was gone and the goal was no help in consoling me. Abi dis boy dey mad? I thought within me.
Then the idiot dug deeper!…reaching the desert layer. You would have called it an ‘inverse mohawk’.
In a flash I jumped up and by now he could feel the fire in my eyes.
Making up my mind on the component to displace with punches on his tribal-marked face, he then asked the most ridiculous question ever…
“Oga whish hairstyle, Lowcut or Gorimapa?”