World of lies

The truth proclaim straight path
But falsity devised shortcuts
Thus the world is cloaked
With heresy and deception
Man adore the straight path
But could not endure the long way
Plant revered the straight path
Endure the long days
But could not allow straight branches
The straight path is cloned to straight lie
The truth scattered and dissolve in the world
And falsity formed the web of lies
Thus straight man turned to stray dog
Straight plant grew with stunt branches
The true lies now twisted the truth minds.



8 thoughts on “World of lies” by Akeem Olalekan (@kimolalekan)

  1. okay, am still thinking about this…they sound very deep, but I have to unravel them first..

  2. @akeem wow, you did a very nice job with this…it was quite an interesting piece…every line is a fountain

  3. There is an interesting style to your poetry but you need to work on the structure still, and mind your tenses so that the message is not lost.

    1. now readijng your comments and reviewing this poem with more patience, i think i agree with you.

      Man adore[ADORED OR ADORES] the straight path

      Endure the long days[ “ENDURES” THE…OR “ENDURED” THE… ]

      The truth scattered and dissolve in the world[YOU CAN HAVE “SCATTERS AND DISSOLVES” THE WORLD OR “SCATTERED AND DISSOLVED “…]

      Straight plant grew[YOU CAN USED GROW BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO CHANGE THE ‘STUNT’] with stunt[OR USE STUNTED AND LEAVE THE ‘GREW’…stunt is a VERB AND HERE ITS FUNCTIONING AS A ADJECTIVES] branches
      The true lies now twisted[TWIST BECAUSE YOU SAW NOW WHICH IS PRESENT CONTINUOUS WHILE TWISTED IS PAST] the truth minds.
      SO YOU SHOULD HAVE:
      straight plant grow with stunted/straight plants grew with stunted branches

      @akeem THIS DOES NOT CHANGE MY OPINION OF THE POEM….SIMPLY SWEET AND DEEP

  4. Nice poem.

    Seems like the more time you spend on NS commenting…the less you see…so I’m taking a break.

    Holla later.

    But i do like the poem.

      1. Because when I read the poem initially I saw tense errors and I had a couple of issues with the structure. But by the time I scrolled down to comment…all I could remember was that I liked to poem. Hence…

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