“Mommy, look at his big head”
Nothing was held sacred. Not even the head of a chief judge on a Sunday morning.The judge was going bald, sprinkles of white salted his temples dotting their way round to the tips where the hair stopped just short of his crown.
“I like your head, it’s shinny at the top” the child retorted to the judge’s stare.
“It wasn’t always like this” the judge managed out in between fits of laughter. “Age and wear have taken their share, I’m afraid” he said looking at her mother. The mother smiled sheepishly, too embarrassed to speak. She sought someone who would accompany her to help shoot the girl. She would have sufficed to smack the girl’s head clear of her posits – the child had given one too many in awkward places – but everyone would frown at that sort of thing in church. She settled for watching the girl closely. Her eye had begun to shift again, no doubt looking for something else to violate.
“Mommy I want sweet”
Her hand rose to strike. But in the interest of peace she grabbed the girl’s wrist and marched out of the church; ignoring the judge who had produced a sweet from his jacket pocket. The judge had grandchildren and understanding perfectly their eccentricities, always had a ready sweet for their entreaties.
Once in the rest room, the mother began to undo her wrapper. It had taken a good twenty minutes to get it right in the morning. Loose enough to move around and tight enough to look chic. This had now been ruined.
There would be one way to end it all. The girl would have to go back the way she came. Sure her head had been smaller a year and half ago but if she could get it out then, with a little effort she could get it back in.
She matted down the little girl’s hair disregarding her innocent stare. Lying down she parted her legs as far they would go and began to force the girl back into her womb. She had half expected it to be like the first time; with a lot of slime and screaming. Instead it turned out quite seamless. There had only been a little jar when it got to the girl’s shoulders that made her grimace and scuff her heels violently on the toilet floor.
After about five minutes it was over, she now had no child and all the peace she wanted. She patted her trim tummy and stepped out to join the service.
OMG! This is sick!nice work.lol
yuk!! besides shouldnt her tummy be bulging since she just stuck a child into it.nice story though
ya ya ya …this is suicide-murder cum baby-cide….you killed me with horrific-laughter….you are damned funny
WELL DONE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! NA REAL U-TURN BE DIS!!!!! I LIKE!!!!!!!
before nko
LOL!!!!!!
You have an incredible mind to come up with this! And that is not a bad thing at all. Keep it up and we’ll surely sing your praises on a louder platform.
OMG, that was so unexpected! LOL…I don’t know whther to like it ot hate it.
LWKMD! What is this? I don’t even know what to say, I just know that I am still laughing.
Well done!!!
This is a very creative ending. Are we having our own Nollywood Scary Movie. Well done for this.
nice piece………….
What???? It was so incredulous that it wound up being funny…
My oh my!
what is this?
Thanks everyone. I think I am confident to put a real picture now lol.
@jaywriter thanks very much my head swells
@Lawal thank you. writing is supposed to affect people.I’m happy i have had a positive effect on you. I’m getting better abi. thanks to people like you
@myne like it lol
@scopeman thank you very much. that’s where we are all going.
@xikay now my head is really swelling. I remember the first one very vividly and know you are very difficult to please
@febby the instant you see a woman force a child back into her womb, call me. I’ll come running with a camcorder and we can document whether her stomach will bulge after that LWKMH.
Seriously everyone I am an usher at church, it’s in Uniben with important people like judges and professors and only a child will walk up to one of them and ask for him/her to blow on his/her hurting hand. The children go “mummy give me this” , “mummy give me that” and as a guy I’m thinking I’ll just push her right back lol, go to the toilet and push her right back lol. So I’m really praising women for their patience in a surreal kind of way. So to all the women out there well done.
Absolutely hilarious!!!!!! One of the funniest stories I have read on NS for a long time.
Anyway, her peace might be short-lived – the ‘tummy’ might start asking embarassing questions that will appear to come from her…
You’ve got a vivid imagination but I found it cringe worthy. Perhaps I need a sense of humour check.
My God! This is sick! This is disgusting! This is ridiculous! But above all, this is LOOOL ROTFL funny!
What the hell?! Frighteningly original! How’d this pop up in ur head?