I have not been able to post on NS for a while because I have been working on my new screenplay. The screenplay is in the final stages of the first but I felt I should share a few pages with the NS community.
I have never considered meself a ‘sane’ writer so I probably don’t expect this to make sense. When I started this screenplay, I really wanted to write something that will be a little ‘sane’. I succeeded in doing that… but just for two pages. Once the dialogue started in the third page, I went ‘insane’ again. Then when I chose “The Shaggers” as the working title, I knew I need to be done with this as fast as I could and write a sensible screenplay.
For those of you who watch CNN, there was this artist on ‘Revealed’ or ‘Talk Asia’ who said his mother asked him as a boy if he ‘could ever draw something nice?’. My lecturers said that most times. My mum says that always too.
I wrote the excerpt in this format because a lot of guys on NS are not really into screenplays.
Also download the other excerpt in screenplay format, click Shaggers.
Thanks.
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The Shaggers
The first meetings…
BUS STATION
Kay sits and waits for a bus. He stares at a lady wearing dark goggles. A close look, he notices the woman is crying. Kay looks around and no one seems to pay attention to this woman. He walks to the lady reluctantly.
KAY (talking in his mind as he walks to her)
My dad told me about a day he and a few friends had an accident while driving. He was in Germany then. He said when he regained consciousness; he noticed people gathered around them. The first question someone asks him is if he wants to smoke. From where I come from, that would be like asking someone in that condition if he or she wants to have sex.
Kay gets to the crying lady and sits beside her.
KAY
(to crying lady)
Smoke or sex?
CRYING LADY
Pardon?
KAY
Do you wanna smoke or have sex?
CRYING LADY
I want to smoke.
KAY
I have a lighter. I don’t have a cigarette though.
(pause)
I don’t smoke.
(looks at Crying Lady)
What about the sex option?
Crying Lady smiles. Kay, happy that he has made her smile, gives her a handkerchief. She takes off her dark goggles and wipes her tears. Kay stares at her. Even with her crying face, Kay realizes she is a pretty crying lady.
KAY
How are you?
CRYING LADY
Crying.
KAY
What’s making you cry?
CRYING LADY
I honestly don’t know.
KAY
Okay.
(pause)
So… are you waiting for a bus?
CRYING LADY
Yes.
KAY
I’m waiting for a bus too.
(pause)
We’ll wait together?
CRYING LADY
Sure.
Long silence.
KAY
I saw a movie last night. An Education.
(pause)
You seen the movie yet?
CRYING LADY
Not yet.
Silence. Kay struggles to say something. After a while, he sighs.
KAY
From where I came from, if a woman is crying… you offer her a smoke or sex… if she rejects both you then talk to her.
(pause)
But you don’t take her name, number, address, email or any other contact info about her.
(pause)
I guess it means you don’t have any amorous thoughts… I think amorous is a good word.
Crying Lady laughs.
CRYING LADY
So from where you come from… do guys usually have amorous thoughts ?
KAY
Guess that’s what makes a guy a guy.
BUS STATION (Destination)
Kay and Crying Lady step down from the bus.
KAY
So, where are you headed?
CRYING LADY (pointing to a direction)
That way.
Kay points to the opposite direction.
KAY
That way for me.
Silence.
CRYING LADY
So?
KAY
I guess we’ll meet again… destiny permitting.
CRYING LADY
Okay.
They shake hands, turn and leave in opposite directions. They walk for a while. Kay turns.
KAY
Hey!
Crying Lady turns. Kay walks up to her. Kay puts his hand in his pockets and gives Crying Lady something. Crying Lady admires the golden lighter Kay was given at the airport.
CRYING LADY
Thanks a lot.
KAY
You’re welcome.
(pause)
It’ll make you happy.
(pause)
Enjoy your day.
CRYING LADY
You too.
They both turn and leave in opposite directions again. Kay turns again.
KAY
Hey!
Crying woman turns. Kay walks towards her.
KAY (talking in his mind as he walks to her)
I met a girl once. It was one of those very rainy days. We were on our way back from school. We walked together that night and chatted and laughed. She wasn’t even crying. She was a beauty as well. We got to the junction where we had to go our different ways.
(pause)
Then I mess up. I tell her ‘destiny permitting, we’ll meet again’. I always dream of the look on her face when I said that – ‘is this guy serious?’. My cousins laughed at me so much for such a stupid line. My friends too. We never saw again till I graduated.
(pause)
Maybe destiny did enough by letting us meet that day. What other help or luck did I need from destiny?
Kay gets to Crying Lady.
KAY
I have learnt not to leave everything to destiny.
Silence.
KAY
No numbers. No names. No contacts. But I’ll sit where you were sitting when I first saw you every…
CRYING LADY
First Saturday of the month?
KAY
By…
CRYING LADY
6pm?
KAY
You are under no obligation to show up. I might really not show up myself.
Kay smiles. Crying Lady smiles back. They hug and walk away in different directions.
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Comments
Jaywriter @jaywriter
Inspired by the females from the lineage of Zeus. Then a couple of NS ladies. Then Asa, Nneka, Kate Winslet, Nse, Uju, Chigozie... Then the girls I've had crushes on. And most importantly, the ones I've had more than crushes on. The ones I'd kissed their feet. Then some other ladies too.Go to Jaywriter's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
Glad put it in this format. I can’t read screenplays; they seem too mind-boggling for me. I salute U guys who write them. For me, it breaks the flow.
Having said that, nice story. Well, Ur insanity showed through the dialogue but don’t worry. In our line of work, insanity is a good thing.
Good job.
A lot of people in the industry don’t usually get the insanity, trust me. But we side with the sweet muses, a little ‘insane’ or not. Thanks for reading.
U r welcome, my fellow insane writer…
Happy Mad things!!!
Make we dey mad dey go jo!!!
An artiste wey never mad never start, lol.
I am inspired.I’m gonna try that ‘smoke or sex’ line soonest.uhmm…must the lady be crying?could I not just..u know..blurt it out.
@kaycee – Won’t work if she’s not crying oh. Try ‘swim or skate’. Or just go with the flow. Once it’s an artistic girl, any sweet artistic will lead to a wonderful conversation. Take shag outta your mind though and just enjoy the chit-chat. Thanks for reading.
@Jaywriter: this is nice. like Raymond said, insanity is…should be welcomed, i feel at home in your insanity, the dialogue flowed and was ‘realistic’ (for want of a better adjective), simple, natural spontaneity. keep it up man.
@neo-lite – Thanks for reading and understanding the insanity. And that was funny, (for want of a better adjective).
this is an interesting read Jay, I really did enjoy this even though it’s not in my favourite genre. Perhaps it’s the way you structured the piece and all… Well done bro.
Beautiful piece jay! Like we always say where I work, ‘Less is more’. The simplicity of this screenplay is heavy in meaning and still refreshing to read.
But I’m wondering about this part:
‘Crying Lady admires the golden lighter Kay was given at the airport.’
Does this imply that there’s an earlier scene not included which shows Kay at the airport?
Insanely nice…
I like.
Jay…I like this. NOT YOU.
Okay?
@afronuts @scopeman, @abbey316 thanks for reading.
@seun, thanks too but I know you like me shah.
most ladies i meet don’t smoke…..wish they would though,then I could try the line.
Just hanging huh?
I love screen plays and This is well written.
Interesting line smoke or sex…suppose it works the other way round?
Hmmm film is visual. This is a nice story but as a movie, I find it hard to picture.
as a screenwriter, i can’t read this in ‘this format’….so i opted for the courier format……..film is visual, it’s about showing…… your screen play isn’t…..dialogue too much