Madness

Madness

It was 4:00pm already ,yet i haven’t even taken my afternoon drugs, as a recovering patient that is still recovering from MALARIA. I was too weak even to get up and take my tablets, no doubt me and MORPHEUS  had a very wonderful jouney to the dreamland.

“Junior go get me my drugs on the table underneath the altar”, i managed to order my younger brother, who was still angry that P.H.C.N had just ceasd electricity while he was still watching his favourite cartoon ‘TOM AND JERRY’.

“Si am”, he said to me in Pidgin English which i have always flogged him for. it’s not his fault anyway, i only blame the incumbent government that has allowed the L.E.A primary school teachers to still be on an ‘UNENDING STRIKE’.

I managed to sit up on my sick bed to collect my drugs from him, but to my greatest dismay and chagrin, it was a radio he was presenting to me. oh poor boy, it seems his ear problem has awoken. Nevertheless, i pretended everything was alright, as i collected the radio from him.

i turned on the radio, just in time to meet up with my favourite radio program ‘TALK AND LETS HEAR’ . It’s aprogram where poeple people write on what happens in their environs, and it will be read on the radio house. Today’s episode is written by Professor SANFRANCISCO 24(probably thats his pen name) a well aclaimed writter in oratory, and to read by KIZZY GREAT, a superb radio broadcaster, sometimes i wonder if he had studied in Britain, because of his eloquene in spoken English.

“Wellcome to ‘TALK AND LETS HEAR’, todays topic is’ THE VOTE CHRONICLES’
THE VOTE CHRONICLES

In 1992, the campaigm promises were ‘ROAD, WATER, FREE EDUCATION AND ELECTRICITY’ , In 1999 Security was added, in 2003, nothing changed, until 2007 when one Mr. omang came up with 7points agenda, but did not live long enough to actualize it.

Now, we are hearing what we have heard before. But come to think of it, I believe the fault is 80% ours, we vote ‘THEM’ in, we give them the permission to use our head as Red carpet which they walk on.

It was recorded that, out of 60% of eligible voters, only 38% voted. whats the cause? if i may ask. Its probably our nonchalant attitude of  ‘I DON’T CARE’.

Lets count those in political offices, majority of them have been trapped by E.F.C.C immediately after serving their tenure.

Enough is better than too much, let us at least get enough of the electricity we paid for, let us boast of free road congestion.

Common, lets build a WORLD POWER country. It starts with you, make sure you exercise your right, choose who is to lead you, Its your right.

Let us VOTE Let us make our choices, let us…………………………

Oh the radio went off, P.H.C.N had just ceased electricity in the radio house, all i was now hearing was sssssshhhhhh.

Fuck up! thats our usual problem, i was not suprised. i’m just waiting for the time to come for me to vote in the person i believe would give me everything i need in a good Democracy Government.

Why not join me and make your choices. Advice when most needed is least heeded, but i strongly believe that the case would be automatically different. christmas comes but ones in a year, so use your chance wisely or continue to live in penury.

with a new and realible government Junior can go to school FREE and learn good english. He can wacth his TOM AND JERRY to the end.

 

 

Comments

comments


36 thoughts on “Madness” by lactoo (@louis)

  1. Profile photo of Jaywriter
    Jaywriter (@jaywriter): Junior Writer - 1808 pts

    Nice message.

  2. Profile photo of Lawal Opeyemi Isaac
    Lawal Opeyemi Isaac (@easylife2): Scribe - 11125 pts

    Nice message no doubt, but the writing left too much to be desired. It was like you were in a rush to submit this, as evident with the many typos seen e.g.

    1) …that P.H.C.N had just ‘ceasd’ electricity …
    2) …a well aclaimed ‘writter’ in oratory, and to ‘read’ by KIZZY GREAT, a superb radio broadcaster,…..

    Also punctuation was not very good.You forgot to capitalise your ‘I’s’ and also the beginning of some sentences.
    All theses little things matter in writing.

    Good effort sha.

    1. Profile photo of lactoo
      lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

      Mr. Lawal I have heard what you said, i think I have taken my correction.
      As for the uncapitalised ‘I’s I think It was my device that got to be blamed for that. all the same thank you.

  3. Profile photo of Gboyega Otolorin
    Gboyega Otolorin (@guywriterer): Head Wordsmith - 49425 pts

    Nice concept. I really like this. But as Mr. Lawal pointed out, LOTS of typos. And what is the meaning of ‘free road congestion’??? Is that an oxymoron or what??

    This piece needs editing mate. Serious one.

    @Mr. Lawal, “All THESES little things matter in writing.”!!! LOL!!!

  4. Profile photo of Kukogho Iruesiri Samson
    Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay): Head Wordsmith - 49877 pts

    I LIKED THE STORY YOU WROTE, THE IDEA WAS GOOD AND THE STYLE WAS CUTE BUT THE TELLING WAS KINDA WOBBLY…FIRST, THE RULES OF LANGUAGE….FIRST WORDS ARE NOT CAPITALIZED AND SO ARE SOME PERSONAL PRONOUNS…YOU ALSO HAVE A FEW PROBLEMS WITH THE STRUCTURING…WHAT I’D WANT TO THINK IS THAT YOU TYPED THIS ON A MOBILE DEVICE AND IN A HURRY TOO…

    I MUST SAY THAT THIS IS ALSO A NICE CONCEPT…YOU DO WELL…

    1. Profile photo of 4ran6
      4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

      ‘It was 4:00pm already ,yet i haven’t even taken my afternoon drugs’?
      This at d beginning of a story doesn’t speak well of a piece in a competition. I say no more!!!

  5. Profile photo of kizzy
    kizzy (@kizito): Newbie - 0 pts

    I believe that Lactoo has written a wonderful story. Lets forget what grammatical errors he had made, and face the message of the story.
    It was wonderfully told, the writing style was superb, the suspense was thrilling. But he just got to be more settle down and maybe stop using MOBILE PHONE.
    Good work lol.

  6. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    Guys and Girls, I have taken your wonderful advise. But come to think of it, didn’t you enjoy the story? hope you did. The message is not too bad i think.

  7. Profile photo of Raymond
    Raymond (@raymond): Head Wordsmith - 47554 pts

    They’ve said it all. Nice story, too many typos. Strong message though. I like how U co-opted the title of this competition. Work on Ur grammar.

  8. Profile photo of RemiRoy
    RemiRoy (@RemiRoy): Writer - 8525 pts

    @Lactoo. I like the concept of the story, but like as been said before, you kinda rushed the whole thing. I believe if you had enough time to assess your work, you would have done better. The message is not enough unfortunately, your delivery validates your message.
    Well done bro.

  9. Profile photo of writefight
    writefight (@writefight): Scribe - 10760 pts

    Nice concept anyway, ditto Lawal.

  10. Profile photo of
    King kObOkO (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Yes, it was clever of you to inject “The Vote Chronicles” into your work. Veeery clever! *winks mischievously* But apart from the obvious lapses others have pointed out, I think you shouldn’t have started preaching after the radio broadcast went off. That was an opportunity to reverse to the narrator’s illness & talk about Nigeria’s poor health system. Shaa sha, you don try! (Please remember to comment on THE NEO-JUJU o! Thanks!)

  11. Profile photo of bigblog
    bigblog (@bigdirty): Newbie - 0 pts

    guy no doubt u are one of Naija’s best creative writers.
    just take note of the typos ‘winks’.

  12. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    Beautiful people of Naijastories, I must confess that I’m flattered by your comments and advice.
    The story was kinda published when i had not expected, I didn’t know that it had already been published, I must confess that the day i went to do the final editing of the story, i was extremely marvelled to see that it already been taged PENDING….
    Just wait for me in any upcoming contest, i will try and do the best of my BEST
    LOVE YOU ALL as you enjoy the story.

    1. Profile photo of 4ran6
      4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

      I’d really want to see u improve… U’ve got age on ur side, lots of time too.

  13. Profile photo of Ayodeji Lancaster
    Ayodeji Lancaster (@lancaster): Writer - 6349 pts

    Message received…..Nice write

  14. Profile photo of Kukogho Iruesiri Samson
    Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay): Head Wordsmith - 49877 pts

    @LACTOO, I BELIEVE YOU…BY THE WAY, I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED BY THIS PIECE BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE OBVIOUS POTENTIAL IN IT…YOU ARE GONNA DO MUCH BETTER I’M SURE.

    1. Profile photo of 4ran6
      4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

      I’m not disappointed either, just frank with him… Every writer has a duty to himself, improvement; then to society, representative. If u dnt improve, u’d never make a good representation. B4 such improvements though, potential becomes an indispensable criterion.

  15. Profile photo of Kukogho Iruesiri Samson
    Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay): Head Wordsmith - 49877 pts

    YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN SIRE

    1. Profile photo of 4ran6
      4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

      Have I not made a good apprentice of u?

  16. Profile photo of Kukogho Iruesiri Samson
    Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay): Head Wordsmith - 49877 pts

    FRANCIS, FACT IS: U R A DAMN GOOD POET, NOBODY’S CUB…MAYBE SHAKESPEARE AND SOYINKA COULD GIVE YOU A WORD OR TWO JUST LIKE YOU GIVE TO THIS BROVA @LACTOO HERE LOLZ

    1. Profile photo of 4ran6
      4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

      I’d be really glad if they did, lolz. One go b ghost sha, but I no mind. I know my greatest weakness is punctuation of every line in my poems. I thank God that I’m guilty of such and not lack of it. I do that cos I want to be in control of the flow, some leave flow control to the mercy of the reader… I’d work on my flaw though, no excuses. Thank u my master!

  17. Profile photo of 4ran6
    4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

    @lactoo, If u get discouraged, so many ppl wld be disappointed. Wld u rather let us down?

    1. Profile photo of lactoo
      lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

      @4ran6 I will try my best to see that I don’t get discouraged.

      1. Profile photo of 4ran6
        4ran6 (@4ran6): Junior Writer - 1900 pts

        That’s d spirit!!!

  18. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    I promise you guys, I won’t let you down.
    love you all, stay cool.

  19. Profile photo of
    jor-el (@): Newbie - 0 pts

    Wonderful story by Lactoo, I think the concept of the story is fascinating. Or don’t you think soooooo.
    My guys lets face the message of the story, just like Kizzy has said earlier.
    I know he wont let us down.
    Xikay and 4ran6 don’t you guys agree with me.

  20. Profile photo of kizzy
    kizzy (@kizito): Newbie - 0 pts

    Hmmm I can’t just stop to read this story MADNESS. I believe that Lactoo must be MAD to have titled this story madness because actually its only madness that will make someone name his story what does not rhyme with it. ha ha ha ha ha. Dont mind me, But! I think I can cure this madness of his. *SMILES* sincerity counts, I must say that the story is so so so delicious. ha ha ha.
    don’t mind me

  21. Profile photo of Sarah Ukot
    Sarah Ukot (@tokuharash): Writer - 5936 pts

    I like this story,Lactoo

    1. Profile photo of lactoo
      lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

      Tanks dear. I appreciate.

  22. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    God will help us in this forthcoming election.

  23. Profile photo of Scopeman
    Scopeman (@scopeman60): Head Wordsmith - 50327 pts

    nuff said, keep working hard bro…

  24. Profile photo of bigblog
    bigblog (@bigdirty): Newbie - 0 pts

    why must MADNESS get evicted 4rm the 1st round? anyway don’t get discouraged boy. big ups!

  25. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    My book ‘THE RISING MONSTER’ is out. Get your now!

  26. Profile photo of lactoo
    lactoo (@louis): Writer - 8869 pts

    Guys i’m back and hot. My book THE RISING MONSTER is out. Get ur copy NOW!
    I’m back, now tougher, hotter, stronger and……..guess what, eager to fight in any upcoming context.
    Love you.

  27. Profile photo of innoalifa
    innoalifa (@innoalifa): Head Wordsmith - 112374 pts

    interesting

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