I love me my poems to rhyme
I want them to do that everytime
It makes me want to mime
even if doesnt not make sense some of the time
I love me my poems to flow
even if the rhytm is a little slow
I could get lost in it on the go
and forget them, all my woes
I love me my poems to sing
my mind filled with its every ring
It makes time for a moment seem to seaze
And the world to be at perfect peace
I love me my poems to boggle
To make baffle and frustrate toggle
Not to make the reader struggle
but stimulate, activate and disseminate
I love me my poems to paddle
Tour the depts of my mind on life’s saddle
Lift and place me on its cradle
And rock me till i think i’m in a fable
Give me a poem that can flow
can rhyme, sing and make me go oh!
Its mysteries we will together unravel
as we ride life’s waves, nolonger needing a paddle
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muyiscoi @muyiscoi
The best form of self expression is that of the purposeful flicker of the pen on a receptacle for the depth of man which spoken words cannot attain.Go to muyiscoi's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
em, I think ‘seaze’ should have been ‘cease’.
This reads like something that was done in a hurry.
Still good all the same.
Really enjoyed it. But might agree with @scopeman that it was rushed. But still, sweet, simple and sexy. Well done.
@muyiscoi, i liked this a lot…i also take @jaywriter‘s SSS @scopeman dont you think that SEAZE might be a ‘poetic license’ word…just wondering…
Man…at the risk of sounding like I’m always on your case…but I really think you overdo all that ‘poetic license’ stuff. ‘seaze’…?? Come on man.
i kinda feel the same way like you about my poems, its a craving of mine exactly as you described so beautifully
Ditto Jay.
Very nice.
thanks for the feedback. i actually wrote this in less than an hour so it was rushed like you all said. I hadnt written in a long while and I hjust had to write something ASAP. I think it came out quite nicely for something that was horridly done. Also, i also don;t think seaze is a real word. will be correcting that right now. once again, tanx for d feedback.
turns out i can’t edit the posts so i guess we’ll just have to correct it in out minds. other critique are welcome. tanx y’all
This is nice.
…..and you indeed rhymed.
It’s good to read from you again.
well done!!!!
This is a nice piece of poetry that pays more attention to sound effects than to meaning. I really enjoyed it but it could use a little more work. kudos
I like that you acknowledged your errors. That…more than any other thing..makes you a genius.
I do really like this one…simply deep. Like a woman’s heart.
Reminds of a poem…’I Want To Hear A Poem’