Youths arise

Youths arise

i count a great the number
of these army that doth slumber.
while the future dies
each on his bed lies
they wait for gray hairs
in the safety of their lairs.

alas tomorrow weeps
as each of them sleeps
and if things remains so
when these old bones shall go
what shall we do then:
the chick is lost without the hen?

get ye up from your bed
fight until you’re bled.
let the hand of our tomorrow
be freed from the chains of sorrow.
if we fight not
trouble shall be its lot.

ye chicks of Nigeria,
the cubs of this blessed area
shall we watch the stew waste?
shall we let it waste
or shall we pick our bows
and weed the cabbage rows?

the future in in our hands!

17 thoughts on “Youths arise” by Kukogho Iruesiri Samson (@xikay)

  1. NOTE: all, 4th line last stanza is

    shall we not arise with haste

    waiting for your criticisms…thanks

  2. It’s a nice piece…I didn’t even notice the mistake…but I’m not much of a poet though. But I love it cos I get the message U r trying to pass across to us…
    Nice work.

  3. thanks Ray… with the way you write, i’d say you may make a good poet….give it a try

  4. I’m not a good poet too oh, lol. Think the poem was very good. The rhymes also worked for me. But the Queen Elizabeth et Shakespeare English thing didn’t quite work for me. Honestly felt the normal English would have worked best. You can try it and see. You can send it to me too. But in all, a very good poem. And the message was spot on. Hope to read more from you.

  5. @jaywriter thanks a lot, points noted…i love shakespeare and i try to blend it with contemporary writers like dennis brutus. for more of me, will do the trick

  6. Everyone’s got their style in writing poems and its what appeals to you that makes it your trademark.
    So much as I’d disagree with some words you used,feeling you should have substituted them for some other word, its all about you..
    So saying,
    It’s nice but could be better.

  7. I had reservations about some word usage too but as you have said it is your style, no qualms.

    All in all, good piece of work.The rhyming worked for me.

    well done!!!

  8. I also agree that some words you used did not quite convey the seriousness of this piece. I think you should not let your desire to rhyme deny your poem of being as classic as it should be. Poetry is an art, always remember

  9. The message was precise. Wordplay was okay. And style na style!

  10. I’m no poet but that doesn’t mean i cannot appreciate good poems. This is one.

  11. Hmmmm. This is good. I am an advocate of an individualized style. A style that sets you apart from the crowd. This is how any writer hopes to become great and have followers behind him. Therefore, I’ll say to that end, this poem makes a good statement in its combination of both old english and the new.

    Now some observations:

    Line one: “I count a great the number”:
    The indefinite article “a” and definite article “the” are both describing “number” in quick successions in one phrase. I would have prefered, “I count so great a number”. Or maybe you have some explanations to back up their use here. I would love to learn, you know.

    Line nine: “and if things remains so”
    I suppose you know that the plural “things” should carry the action “remain” and not “remains”. So I would have said, “and if things remain so”.

    Last line: “The future in in our hands”. I am sure you know where the correction is here, or else I am one with a buffoon.

    Now, dear, you need to carefully study the use of punctuations.
    Example one:
    Use of fullstops:
    See Line Four, “Each on his bed lies”. I think there should be a fullstop after this sentence before the next line that began with “They” leading us to another sentence. I think so because you used fullstops elsewhere, so this is no poetic license where you may decide not to use fullstops at all. There are other examples of the lax in the use of fullstops, but I think I should not be too critical.

    The scarce use of comma
    I see you used a comma in Line nineteen only. Now again, it is either no use of commas at all or commas everywhere they should be. That is the rule. Unless, you are a new great writer that has come to break and set new rules.

    All in all, dear poet, you did great. My friend was reciting your poetry aloud just now! I guess you are a revolutionary.

  12. @scopeman @jeff you guys got it very right. @every other contributor…thanks, may we all get better with each post.

  13. very nice jeff, you’re such an enlightener!

  14. on second thoughts, i think i’d like to invoke my poetic license hear jeff! lol

  15. Like this. I think the almost-even lines coupled with the rhymes make it musical. Also love the message of revolution. Much needed in Nigeria today.

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