By and large the drama did unfold and quickly at that! It was like someone was remotely controlling the turn of events and I was acting out a script. It was like a joke on me and everything I had ever believed in.
A month later, Fred and I had started this really easy relationship and I constantly emphasized on no sex, saying it would complicate issues.
He said he wanted a ‘complicated and steamy’ relationship. ‘Said he could feel it in his bones and his blood that I was a deeply passionate woman and that he couldn’t wait for the day that I would finally open up to him-‘’no holds barred’’ , as he would finish with this dreamy look in his eyes.
‘’You go wait tire!’’ I would say to him.
‘’So, I’m one sex siren to you huh?” ‘’That’s what I look like to you?” I asked, feigning anger;
“No!’’ He protested.
Don’t I have the right to daydream about my girlfriend? Even if she isn’t doing same about me?” He asked.
I looked at him quickly, shaking my head.
“Oh no please don’t deny it; I know ‘cause I’m a man. You’re not as crazy about me as I am for you but I’m ready to take that chance and hope to God that you change.”
“Atleast, I’m here with you and I said yes to you” I reminded him.
“Yeah yeah, so you keep telling me” He said with resignation.
Fred is a cool guy; I keep getting these envious looks from chics and suggestive glances from men whenever we go out, like: “You’ve got the best of the best woman”.
I know it, (sometimes) but I always freeze up and I don’t know why. I also know, I could feel/drum up so much passion for this man but I just can’t unlock that part of me yet.
Amina is amazed at my reaction; she’s of the opinion that with this triple hot boyfriend of mine, I should be over the moon and in blissful ignorance of every other thing.
I told her that it would take some time for me to get used to having a man in my life again.
“Someone must have really hurt you girl” she observed.
I felt I should tell her and so I told her everything about what went down between Frankie and I but left out his name and the part that we seen again and under what circumstance.
“Oh my God! You really went through a lot!” She exclaimed.
“I can’t even imagine the pain and hurt” She continued;
“God punish him wherever he is, he would never have peace. I just wish I could have been there for you, I swear”
I had never felt worse than the way I felt at that moment! I felt like a fraudster. At that moment, I felt I should tell her everything thing but I lost it because Amina got a call from Frankie who had gone back to his work base.
She was all smiles and had this dreamy look on her as she spoke on the phone so I begged to be excused to go prepare for my nightshift.
The past week and half had been really hectic for me with my nightshifts plus a patient that was recovering from a simple appendectomy that I had performed on her died and I just couldn’t understand or explain it.
I just needed to rest my bones. I had two whole days off and I was totally ready and keyed into it.
As I signed out that morning, all I had on my mind was to fall into a mindless sleep.
When I got to the house, Frankie was around;
As I made to walk by, he asked me if I just couldn’t utter a simple greeting and if I was okay; Of course, I didn’t reply him.
I slumped on my bed without changing or having my bath. I think I had drifted into a deep slumber when I someone whispered my name; it took me a few seconds to recollect where I was and who it was.
I turned and Frankie was sitting on the side of my bed and looking at me with such intensity that had my insides crumbling to marshmallows. What was happening? I wondered. How could I still feel something for this guy? I was panicking and I knew it and then he kissed me.