” Men sha” (2)

” Men sha” (2)

Bleep…bleep….bleep!!! the buzz of Dolapo’s blackberry woke us up,
“Excuse me sweet, lemme take this outside, its business”.
“Ok honey’’.

This has been his routine for some months now and I began to question why.

Dolapo’s attitude began to change towards me, he got angry at every little thing I did or said, he stopped ending his every night text with “I Love You’’. In fact he stopped texting me every day and night and he wouldn’t reply my texts or pick my calls and when i questioned his action, he blamed it on the excessive work on his desk”. I was confused ‘’ ”Has he found someone else’’? I kept asking myself…

The sound of Usher’s ‘’Oh my gosh’’ woke me up from my lost thoughts as my phone rang beside me.

‘’ Hello darling, how are you doing? I have missed you, you know’’. It was Dolapo.

‘’ Moroti, we need to talk’’.

Two days later, Dolapo and I arranged to meet up in harvester.
”What will you like to eat?’’.
’’I will just have coke for now, lets go straight to the point”.

”Ok baby’’.

Dolapo looked around the room nervously and shifted around in his chair while scratching his neck. ‘’Actually Moroti…. erm… I don’t know how to tell you this but its only fair to tell you”.

My heart started pounding like it was going to fly out of my chest. An inkling of Dolapo cheating sent a cold shiver down my spine. He grabbed hold of my hands, his shimmering light brown eyes came in contact with my hazel almond-shaped eyes; and then he delivered the bomb shell ”Moroti… I am… I am married”.
I laughed nervously. ”You are joking right? Please tell me this is a joke’’.
He held my hands tight. ”Moroti, please listen to me, i am serious… i am married…i am really sorry’’.
I looked into his eyes. He looked serious. My head began to spin and I felt faint. I sat there speechless and I began to remember all the promises he made to me, how he promised to always love and cherish me, the night he deflowered me… I got up and dashed out of the room i didn’t even know how i got home i  sat on my bed and i heard the sound of thunder storm. It began to rain. I couldn’t even cry, the rain was crying for me. ”How could Dolapo do this to me? I always fantasized us holding hands and walking down the aisle, being with someone i really love. ”No, he can’t be married”, i thought, ‘‘He will knock on my door and tell me he was joking and that it was his special way of proposing to me, and how i could believe such  …….”. I kept waiting patiently for ‘Dee’ (as this was his pet name) to knock on my door but the knocks never came.

The next day, there was still no sign of Dolapo. The whole thing began to sink in and the head-spinning of the previous day had turned into a full blown migraine. I began to think over the whole thing from the first day we met, and everything began to make sense, ”But why would he ask me out and even ask me to get serious with him when he knew he was married?’’

These are the questions i kept asking myself and couldn’t find an answer to. “What am I going to do now? Where am I going to start from? What will i tell my friends?  Was i too cheap? Can I trust any man again?”

http://juststories4u.blogspot.com/



Heart broken





28 thoughts on “” Men sha” (2)” by Wealth (@wealth)

  1. Not bad…Still needs a little work. You need to be patient with yourself when writing some scenes…Pacing, very important…But this story touches a real-world issue, and I like it.
    U can do better.
    Good work, and keep writing.

  2. Thanks Raymond i totally agree with what you said. This is my first writing in a very long time… Im gad u like it, thanks for reading.

    1. U r welcome. Meanwhile, the 2nd part of Checkpoint has been published. U can check it out.

  3. Yaaayy,am really eager to read it, thanks.

  4. Kinda expected this.
    Ditto @Jay.

  5. I meant ditto @Ray

    1. :-) honest mistake?

  6. @lade-a, loved that mistake. Like ‘l’ and ‘r’ aint even close to each other in both phone and keyboard, lol. Okay, Jaysplanet, nearly got carried away. Back to the story, just liked the ‘rain crying for her’ line. Think that line showed you got real talent. But the rest was kinda flat. Except, this is a true story. Like it happened to your friend or relation or something. Watch out for typos too. Hope to read more works from you. Think you’ll be able to do poetry too.

  7. This just makes me sad. I’ve read a lot of (real life) stories that ended up like this…

  8. @ Jaywriter: I appreciate the Criticism,i guess its cos this is my first work in over ten years, i am just trying to rebuild myself,thanks for reading though.

    @ Annabella & Lade : Thanks for reading.

  9. You can do better than this but I like the story.

  10. A straightforward story. There’s nothing additional to say really, because I’ve read this kind of ‘player’ story so many times.

    What I would have like to read was something special in the story that would have made it stand out for me and made me remember it long after reading.

    Also, watch out for typos – as someone commented, it feels like you were rushing when writing this.

  11. Thanks guys for the comment, i will work on what u ve all mentioned.

  12. nice story you got there, things like this happens all the time,even happened to a friend…in her own case,the guy didnt even tell her,she found out herself after making his intentions known to her parents…lots of shits happens.
    a very straightforward story..like it.

  13. Thank for the comment posh…Guys are full of surprises.

  14. men sha became all too telling, we actually hear it often men sha, thought it would be the other way round, as in a good way. Good effort.

  15. well, you have mentioned that you haven’t written in a long while; that can explain many things about this piece. But like Raymond suggested, be more patient…

  16. Thanks everyone.

  17. clad in streaks of realism. Nice.

  18. i noticed some of the errors that have already been visited by earlier visitors so no need to say “u need to…” especially as i also need to be patient when writing some of my scenes (like Raymond pointed out.)if this is real, i hope the person ddnt conclude that she gave herself as cheap. the guy must have played on her naivety, it shows in the line,

    “… the night he deflowered me…”
    and hope she believes in life after love.

  19. well, i haven’t read the first part. i like this kind of stories, this is good but i have some things to say. first, learn to separate dialogue from thoughts;

    I couldn’t even cry, the rain was crying for me. ”How could Dolapo do this to me? I always fantasized us holding hands and walking down the aisle, being with someone i really love. ”No, he can’t be married”, i thought, ‘‘He will knock on my door and tell me he was joking and that it was his special way of proposing to me, and how i could believe such …….”. I kept waiting patiently for ‘Dee’ (as this was his pet name) to knock on my door but the knocks never came….

    it makes it easier to appreciate if it is well structures, not only typos, or punctuations.

  20. @ Matthew: Thanks
    @Brainy Poet: * wailing uncontrollably* … Thanks,i will work on it.

  21. @wealth, wailing! no! its normal to make mistakes o! it takes nothing from the very good job you did.

  22. This story is not bad at all, but you need to pay more attention to some sneaky typos. The story also looks a bit rushed, loosing some of its flavours along the way. It appears too flat for a fairytale turned heartbreak. But you’ve done well. Kudos!

  23. Thanks Johnson B. I really appreciate the comment, i said on the earlier comments that this is ma first writing in a very long time ( more than 10 years) so i guess it explains so much about the story, thanks for reading and God bless.

  24. ‘…I couldn’t cry, the rain cried for me!’
    U nailed it. I wonder wat dis wld look like wen it goes thru the final stage of writin.
    I can’t comment anymore, my smile does it for me, me out!

  25. * Fighting back tears* Thanks 4ran6.

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