Suicide

Suicide

I’m on the third mainland bridge.

I’m not here for sight seeing but judging from the amount of parked cars, cameras and security behind me, you would think I am an actor waiting for the Director’s voice to yell ‘JUMP’, so we could complete a scene in another low budget Nollywood movie.

I am sure photos and videos of this tragic incident, as it will be called, will be a major highlight on national TV this evening, but it all dosen’t matter, No one can stop me now, no one can help me. No matter how much they say they understand, I could still hear the underlying tone in their voice, I could see the look of guilt in their eye, pleading yet threatening.

Let them point, plead, scream. Truth is, i’m tired of living without life. What is life without the one you love? How do you live when the other part of you is stolen away by death and accusing fingers point at you.

I’m dying from the loneliness, the insults, the gossip and the ocean of emptiness within me.

I look back one last time at the sea of faces behind me: I see despair, I see those clinging on to life forcefully, I see those who mock me with a thin smile that stretch along their black faces.

I look straight at the cameras, so they would know…so the darkness, emptiness and death in my eyes would continue to haunt them long after I’m gone.

As I let go of the railings behind me, I hear gasps and screams but they don’t matter. What matters is the smiling water beneath the bridge, it opened its arms to accept me in a calming embrace.

As i lost the last of my breath to its choking depths, I woke up in my room enveloped in smoke and the shouts of FIRE.



42 thoughts on “Suicide” by Anda Damisa Lazywrita (@Anderson-paul)

  1. wow,this was so intense,I loved it absolutely and the fact that there was no ”miracle” at last,the suicide did happen,at least in the dream.
    You rock

  2. Thank you Gretel
    glad u like it
    just working my way around writing stories.

  3. This is called ‘dying twice’, lol.
    Nice work, Paul.

  4. :D :D :D The Third Mainland Bridge… I think that is the next most popular place in Lagos (the first being the lagoon) to ‘kpeme’ oneself, yea, just ‘kpafuka’ like that in one artless descent. [I just wonder where the first and second mainland bridges went to]

    Mr.Anderson, you are a chronic poet, ok, and you thrive in it. I advise that you stick with it, writing in metres, verses, stanzas, rhymes, etc. In my own personal opinion, this piece should have been a poem; it sounds like one, dear, even though I must commend you a bit for the attempt at fiction storytelling. Study that literary genre deeply, for even I intend to do that as well.

    I also ditto @lade-a‘s comment, simple enough.

  5. @Emmanuella..lol, whoever told you that the third mainland bridge is the most popular place in lagos
    its just a bridge you know
    i just wanted to try writing a story, i’ll sure get better with you all around here
    anyway, thank you sha.

    1. :( Mr.Anderson! :( You did NOT read my commentary very well, did ya? I said (I’ll kinda repeat myself, anyway, with a little rephrasing) I think that the Third Mainland Bridge in Lagos is the next most popular place for one to ‘kpeme’ oneself, the first being the famous Lagos Lagoon, in one artless descent, from up to down GBAM!! I think it was so in those days, in the Ken Saro-Wiwa days of Basi & Company. This always happens when one gets tired of living as a whole, gets frustrated with Lagos life or just wants to have fun getting attention from passers-by or so.

      And @Paul, do NOT just read us here in NS in order to get better at prose-fiction writing, short or long. There are experts in this field, in this genre of literature, who are ancient masters that will have you mesmerised, trust me. Google-search for GRAHAM GREEN and ANTON CHEKHOV in your computer and read their works, if you can find them. And, mind you, there are also good Nigerian fiction writers outside NS as well: BEN OKRI et al. So, happy researching, ok. Be good! ;)

  6. Lol Paul, fire and water. What a great combination!
    No suicide today people, coma back tomorrow. Lawl!
    Nice work.

  7. @Remi. trust Nigerians now
    even in the midst of all , we are still the most optimistic people on earth
    suicide no dey our dictionary o.lol
    thank you

  8. @Remi. trust Nigerians now
    even in the midst of all , we are still the most optimistic people on earth
    suicide no dey our dictionary o.lol
    thank you.

  9. Lol @ dying twice. I was actually surprised to see you write fiction. You did good with it. Well done.

  10. @Uche.just wanted to try something different.thank you

  11. @Emmanuella. So sorry ma, i get what you were saying now and you are right
    Those two places you mentioned must be as rich as a burial ground if the stories i’ ve heard are true.
    Lol @ want to have fun getting attention from passerbys, that cracked me up
    Now you are fuelling my interest in writing stories
    Thanks for the tips, i’ll look those authors up
    Be cool and thank you.

  12. Nice One Paul, I like the irony or contrast in drowning and burning. But then there are other brilliant effects you added to this story that made me like it even more, like: “I look straight at the cameras, so they would know… so the darkness, emptiness and death in my eyes would continue to haunt them long after I’m gone.” LOL.

    1. @Tee.thank you glad u like it.

  13. Anderson Paul, I liked this story full of lyrical expressions like

    Truth is, i’m tired of living without life.

    and

    What matters is the smiling water beneath the bridge, it [opens] its arms to accept me in a calming embrace

    It could easily have been a poem if you set it to metre.

    However, I’m not so sure about the ending – it looked too abrupt, and the waking-from-a-dream line is a bit too cliched. Even if you didn’t want the guy to die, you could just have left him staring at the water.

    1. Tola, I concur. ;)

      1. okay o, points noted

  14. @Tola you are right when u said it could easily have been poetry, other people think that too
    maybe i’m just too into poetry to write stories, just wanted to try something different
    thank you

    1. Hey Paul,

      I don’t mean my comments in a bad way. In fact, I think you should continue writing your lyrical prose. I also think that your story was very descriptive – I liked the idea of likening the scene of a movie set. Think of it as giving your readers two offerings for the price of one!

  15. @Tola i do very much understand
    thank u again

  16. Mr. Ander-Son… You have enterd prose to come and spoil show for boiz, abi? I think everybody else has pretty much covered it esp @Tola-O. fine job still. You want to keep the lyrical aspects of yr style but moderate (not kill off) the descriptive-ness. You will get better: no qualms about that… As my english teacher used to write for those who’d scored 7/10, “Keep it up”

  17. @Cikko. thanks man

  18. Paul Anderson, this is new! Your poetic prowess brings on a new Soyinka from poetry to prose to make a mix of poetry and prose. And this is how a new literary tradition begins. At the beginning of something new, the earth shakes, even though your prosaic style is still growing to distinction as it had done already in your poetry. Again, your portrayal of someone who plunges into water in a dream with a mind filled with death-thoughts tallies with the embrace of smoke and alarm outside the dreamer, for one’s subconscious mind is ever awake and informs one’s dream state to tally with what goes on around one on the outside, however distorted. Keep it up!

    1. wow, i am glad you think so highly of this. thank you a lot.

  19. Good debut to prose Anderson.For me, it was really the ending that worked for me.

    Well done!!!

    1. Thank you Lawal, still learning.

  20. I no understand why Nuella dey beef this classic work o! Journalism is all about rigid rules, creative writing isn’t. I’m more of poet too but I’d rather write a poetic prose, like this one, than something else. My brother well done jor. I truly enjoyed this flash fiction. Notin do us *winks*

    1. Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.

      1. @Anderson I was almost finking he would turn around in mid-air and find his true love at the railing screaming STOP! But, again u did well to continue with the tragic ending…who knows the FIRE might still claim him yet.

        I don’t know if I can do what u just did…u re brave. I leave the prose and fiction well alone. LOL.

  21. VERY nice piece this is. you took me up in the story.
    As for the person in the story, all i can say is that FIRE or WATER, die na DIE!

    1. yes o ,thanks bro.
      glad you did get it.

  22. Good one Paul. Think this kinda prose’s very cool. Keep it up.

    1. thank you bro
      just working my way through.

  23. @anderson, but the thing bad o! i thought you were offering redemption.

    1. not at all bro, redemption no dey there o.sup?

  24. @anderson, cool… but you wicked the guy o

    1. lol, if you say so bro

  25. short.cool. but can you “…live without life”? (paragraph 3, line 1)

    1. sure, you can live without life…in several ways

  26. Hmnnnn… I’ll describe this in just one word “SMASHING”

  27. Glad you think so, thank you

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